Empathy

    Last year, researchers from the University of Michigan reported that empathy, the ability to understand other people, among college students had dropped a lot over the past 10 years. That could be because so many people have replaced face time with screen time, the researchers said. Today, people spend more time alone and seldom join groups and clubs.

    Jennifer Freed, a director of a teen program, has another explanation. on the TV, and you're showered with news and reality shows full of people fighting, competing, and generally treating one another with no respect(尊重).  Humans learn by example—and most of the examples on it are anything but empathetic.

    There are good reasons not to follow those bad examples. Humans are socially connected with nature. Having relationships with other people is an important part of being human—and having empathy is important to those relationships. Researchers have also found that empathetic teenagers always have high self-respect. Besides, empathy can be helpful for loneliness, sadness, anxiety, and fear.

    Empathy is also necessary for a good leader. In fact, Freed says, many top companies report that empathy is one the most important things they look for in new managers. Social skills—including empathy—are a kind of “emotional(情感的) intelligence" that will help you succeed in many areas of life. “Tests results are important. But if you don't have emotional intelligence, you won't be as successful in work or in your love life,” she says.

    What's the best way to up your EQ(情商)? For starters, let down your guard and really listen to others. “One doesn't develop empathy by having a lot of opinions and doing a lot of talking,” Freed says. To really develop empathy, you'd better volunteer at a nursing home or a hospital, join a club or a team that has a diverse membership, have a “sharing circle” with your family, or spend time caring for pets at an animal shelter.

    Emma and Ryan, a married couple, were driving to a friend's house when Emma turned to Ryan and asked, “Would you like to stop for lunch?”

    Ryan replied. “No, I'm not hungry yet,” and continued driving. Meanwhile, Emma sat quietly fuming (十分恼火)in the passenger seat. Ryan could not understand why Emma was unhappy. He had thought she was asking if he was hungry, but in reality, Emma was telling him that she was hungry and wanted to stop for lunch.

    Misunderstandings like this often occur between men and women, even among people from the same culture. Deborah Tannen, professor of linguistics at Georgetown University in the United States, has studied conversational rules.

    In Emma and Ryan's situation, Emma was making a request in the form of a question. Her style of talking is common for women. She needed Ryan to agree they were both hungry. So, Emma asked Ryan what he wanted. She was really telling Ryan what she wanted; however, Ryan did not understand this. If he had been hungry, he would have said something more direct, such as, “I'm hungry. Let's have lunch.”

    Tannen believes that most women grow up in a world where talk is used to express feelings. However, most men are raised differently and they tend to keep their feelings to themselves.

    Tannen says, for men, talk is often used as a situation used outside the home to gain respect, to entertain and get attention , or to exchange information. This is why men communicate by making each other laugh, or talking about sport and work. These men do not always feel it is necessary to talk to feel close or to express their feelings. Women, on the other hand, are encouraged to speak about their feelings since this is a way to build relationships.

    Shyness is the cause of much unhappiness for a great many people. Shy people are anxious and self-conscious; that is, they are concerned with their own appearance and actions too much. Negative thoughts are constantly occurring in their minds: What kind of impression am I making? Do they like me? Do I sound stupid? Am I wearing unattractive clothes?

    It is obvious that such uncomfortable feelings must affect people unfavorably. A person's self-concept is reflected in the way he or she behaves and the way a person behaves affects other people's reactions. In general, the way people think about themselves has a deep effect on all areas of their lives.

    Shy people, who have low respect, are likely to be passive and easily influenced by others. They need faith that they are doing "the right thing". Shy people are very sensitive to criticism. It makes them feel inferior（自卑）.They also find it difficult to be pleased by praises because they believe they are unworthy of praise. A shy person may respond to a praise with a statement like this one: "You're just saying that to make me feel good, I know it's not true.” It is clear that, while self-awareness is a healthy quality, overdoing it is harmful.

    Can shyness be completely got rid of, or at least reduced? Fortunately, people can overcome shyness with determination since shyness goes hand in hand with lack of self respect. It is important for people to accept their weakness as well as their strengths. Each one of us has his or her own characteristics. We are interested in our own personal ways. The better we understand ourselves, the easier it becomes to live up to our chances for a rich and successful life.

    Most people can't live to 100. Those who do live so long can hardly walk, let alone take part in any activities. A few people, however, take part in dangerous activities even though they are more than 100 years old. They keep going and going! There is a great grandmother who likes challenging herself although she is 101 years old this year.

    Mary Hardison believes that people should always be cheerful and more importantly, take on all kinds of adventures while they physically still can. So, instead of celebrating her 101st birthday with a boring party, she decided to go paragliding（滑翔跳伞）﹣an idea she got from her 75﹣year﹣old son who recently took it up as a hobby.

    So on her birthday, cheered on by her big family, she tied herself up together with expert instructor Kevin Hintze, and jumped down fearlessly from the sky near her home in Ogden, Utah. And, it was not just a simple jump either. According to Kevin Hintze, the grandmother encouraged him to turn around, as they made their way down.

    This is not the first time that Mary has done something "wild" and "crazy". For her 90th birthday she rode all the adult rides at Disneyland. And, she is not done yet﹣ For her 102nd birthday she hopes to go down the 3,000 feet Alpine Slide at Utah's Park City Mountain Resort!

    Not surprisingly, this great action has made Mary Hardison very famous and also earned her a place in the Guinness World Records where she broke a 2007 record set by a 100﹣year﹣old British woman. What an amazing lady!

    The impression you make at the beginning of an interview is very important. Employers often decide to hire someone in the first three minutes of the interview. They judge you by your appearance, attitude and manners.

    A friendly smile when you walk into the room is important. A smile shows a confident and positive attitude.

    When you introduce yourself, make eye contact with the interviewer. Some interviewers offer a handshake. Others don't.

    Try to be as natural as possible. But pay attention to your body language. The way you sit, walk, gesture, use your voice and show feelings on your face is all part of your body language. It makes the interviewer know how you feel about yourself and the situation you are in. Are you feeling positively about yourself? Your abilities? Your interest in the job?

    Speak clearly and loudly enough. Show interest and enthusiasm in your voice. When you speak, look at the interviewer. Also, don't say negative things about yourself, or former employer.

    Listen to questions carefully. If you don't understand a question, ask the interviewer to repeat or explain:

    "I'm sorry, but I didn't catch that."

    "I'm not sure exactly what you mean."

    Almost everyone is nervous in a job interview. Interviewers know that. They don't expect you to be totally calm and relaxed. But they expect you to try to control your nervousness. They expect you to show confidence in your ability to do the job.

    At the end of the interview, thank the interviewer for her or his time.

    It's a good idea to send a short thank-you letter right after the interview, or deliver it by hand.

    Phone the company if you have not heard anything after one week. Ask if they have made a decision about the job.

    Good luck!

    At the age of 14, James Harrison had a major chest operation and he required 13 units (3.4 gallons) of blood afterwards. The blood donations saved his life, and he decided that once he turned 18, he would begin donating blood as regularly as he could.

    More than 60 years and almost 1,200 donations later, Harrison, whose blood contains an antibody(抗体) that has saved the lives of 2.4 million babies from miscarriages (流产), retired as a blood donor on May 11. Harrison's blood is valuable because he naturally produces Rh-negative blood, which contains Rh-positive antibodies. His blood has been used to create anti-D in Australia since 1967.

    "Every bottle of anti-D ever made in Australia has James in it," Robyn Barlow, the Rh program director told the Sydney Morning Herald. "It's an amazing thing. He has saved millions of babies. I cry just thinking about it." Since then, Harrison has donated between 500 and 800 milliliters of blood almost every week. He's made 1,162 donations from his right arm and 10 from his left.

    "I'd keep going if they let me," Harrison told the Herald. His doctors said it was time to stop the donations — and they certainly don't take them lightly. They had already extended the age limit for blood donations for him, and they're cutting him off now to protect his health. He made his final donation surrounded by some of the mothers and babies who his blood helped save.

    Harrison's retirement is a blow to the Rh treatment program in Australia. Only 160 donors support the program, and finding new donors has proven to be difficult. But Harrison's retirement from giving blood doesn't mean he's completely out of the game. Scientists are collecting and cataloging his DNA to create a library of antibodies and white blood cells that could be the future of the anti-D program in Australia.