When I was growing up, I had an old neighbor named Doctor Gibbs. He didn't look like any doctor I'd ever known. He never yelled at us for playing in his yard, but was always very kind.

    When Doctor Gibbs wasn't saving lives, he was planting trees. He had some interesting theories about planting trees. He believed in the principle “No pain, no gain”. He hardly watered his new trees, which flew in the face of conventional(传统的) wisdom. Once I asked why and he told me that watering plants spoiled them because it made them grow weaker. He said you had to make things tough for the trees so that only the strongest could survive. He talked about how watering trees made them develop shallow roots and how, if they were not watered, trees would grow deep roots in search of water. So, instead of watering his trees every morning, he'd beat them with a rolled-up newspaper. I asked him why he did that, and he said it was to get the tree's attention.

    Doctor Gibbs died a couple of years after I left home. Every now and then, I walked by his house and looked at the trees that I'd watched him plant some twenty five years ago. They were all tall and strong.

    I planted a couple of trees myself a few years ago. Two years of attending these trees meant they grew up weak. Whenever a cold wind blew, their branches trembled. Adversity(逆境) seemed to benefit Doctor Gibb's trees in ways comfort and ease never could.

    Every night before I go to bed, I check on my two sons. I often pray that their lives will be easy. But lately I've been thinking that it's time to change my prayer. I know my children are going to meet with hardship. There's always a cold wind blowing somewhere. What we need to do is to pray for deep roots, so when the rains fall and the winds blow, we won't be torn apart.

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    It seems that no one can live a happy life without friendship. While a great number of people expect others to be their friends, they don't give friendship back. That is why some friendships don't last long. To have a friend, you must learn to be one. You must learn to treat your friend the way you want your friend to treat you. Learning to be a good friend means learning three rules: be honest; be generous; be understanding.

    Honesty is where a good friendship starts. Friends must be able to trust one another. If you do not tell the truth, people usually find out. If a friend finds out that you haven't been honest, you may lose your friend's trust. Good friends always depend on one another to speak and act honestly.

    Generosity means sharing and sharing makes a friendship grow. You do not have to give your lunch money or your clothes. Naturally you will want to share your ideas and feelings. These can be very valuable to a friend. They tell your friend what is important to you. By sharing them, you help your friend know better.

    Sooner or later everyone needs understanding and help with each other. Something may go wrong at school. Talking about the problem can make it easier to solve. Turning to a friend can be a first step in solving the problem. So to be a friend you must listen and understand. You must try to put yourself in your friend's place so that you can understand the problem better.

    No two friendships are exactly alike. But all true friendships have three things in common. If you plan to keep your friends, you must practice honesty, generosity and understanding.

    When Warren Buffett, the most successful investor, was asked about the secret to his wealth and success, he revealed that he read every day, 500 pages, to be precise. Unfortunately, if you're already working 9‒5, you might not have the time to read at all, let alone an entire book a day. But what if you could get the benefits of reading without sacrificing all of your free time? You can! With the Blinkist app, you get the key learning in minutes, not hours or days. Our experts transform these books into quick, easy-to-understand insights. Start with the 5 most-read books.

    ⒈Thirteen Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do

    by Amy Morin             12 min reading time             147k reads

    Do you struggle to get over your failures? Getting over these can have a profound influence on your everyday life. Morin shares how her most successful patients overcame these difficulties.

    ⒉How to Stop Worrying and Start Living

    by Dale Carnegie           19 min reading time            238k reads

    Ever wondered why you can't stop worrying about something? By defining the source of your stress, you can get over it once and for all. Carnegie came up with a formula that helps you handle any overthinking situation.

    ⒊How Will You Measure Your Life?

    by Clayton M. Christensen       13 min reading time        137k reads

    Are you making the right trade-offs (权衡) in life? While career achievements can be satisfying, neglecting your family and friends can be bad in the long-run — in ways you can't even imagine.

    ⒋Finding Your Element

    by Ken Robinson               13 min reading time        62.4k reads

    Everyone has a passion. If you don't know what yours is, it just means you haven't discovered it yet. Find out how you can break free of society's strict rules and find your calling in life.

    ⒌Emotional Intelligence

    by Daniel Goleman             16 min reading time        318k reads

    Did you know if your pulse rate rises above 100 bpm, you're deemed too emotional to think rationally? You probably let feelings cloud your judgment more often than you know. Goleman explains how you can avoid letting your emotions rule you and make better decisions in life.

My Favourite Books

    Jo Usmar is a writer for Cosmopolitan and co-author of the This Book Will series（系列）of lifestyle books. Here she picks her top reads.

    Matilda

    Roald Dahl

    I once wrote a paper on the influence of fairy tales on Roald Dahl's writing and it gave me a new appreciation for his strange and delightful words. Matilda's battles with her cruel parents and the bossy headmisres, Miss Trunchbull, are equally funny and frightening, but they're also aspirational.

    After Dark

    Haruki Murakami

    It's about two sisters-Eri, a model who either won't or can't stop sleeping, and Mari, a young student. In trying to connect to her sister. Mari starts changing her life and discovers a world of diverse "night people" who are hiding secrets.

    Gone Girl

    Gillian Fynn

    There was a bit of me that didn't want to love this when everyone else on the planet did but the horror story is brilliant. There's tension and anxiety from the beginning as Nick and Amy battle for your trust. It's a real whodunit and the frustration when you realise what's going on is horribly enjoyable

    The Stand

    Stephen King

    This is an excellent fantasy novel from one of the best storytellers around. After a serious flu outbreak wipes out 99.4% of the world's population, a battle unfolds between good and evil among those let. Randall Flagg is one of the scariest characters ever.

    All of us know that smoking does harm to our health. But do you think everything will be OK as long as you quit smoking?

    Unfortunately, the answer is NO.

    New research has found that even if you give up smoking, the damage it has done to your genes (基因) will stay there for a much longer time. In the research, a team of US scientists studied the blood of 16,000 people. Among them, some were smokers, some used to smoke, and the rest were non-smokers. Scientists compared their genes and found that more than 7, 000 genes of smokers had changed—a number that is one-third of known human genes. According to NBC News, both heart disease and cancer are caused by genetic changes. Some people may have had the changes when they were born, but most people get them in their daily lives while doing things like smoking. When you stop smoking, a lot of these genes will return to normal within five years. This means your body is trying to heal (治愈) itself of the harmful effects of smoking. But the changes in some of the genes stay for longer. They can stay for as long as 30 years, It's almost like leaving a footprint on wet cement (水泥)—it will always be there, even when you've walked away and when the cement becomes dry. Although the study results may make people unhappy, there is a bright side: the findings could help scientists invent medicine to treat genetic damage caused by smoking or find ways to tell which people have heart disease or cancer risks.

I was standing in the checkout line behind a woman who looked to be in her 60s. When it was her turn to pay, the cashier greeted her by name and asked her how she was doing.

The woman looked down, shook her head and said: "Not so good. My husband just lost his job. The truth is, I don't know how I'm going to get through these days." Then she gave the cashier food stamps (食品券).

My heart ached. I wanted to help but didn't know how. Should I offer to pay for her groceries, or ask for her husband's resume (简历)?

Walking into the parking lot, I spotted the woman returning her shopping cart. I remembered something in my purse that I thought could help her. It wasn't a handful of cash or an offer of a job for her husband, but maybe it would make her life better.

"Excuse me," I said, my voice trembling a bit. "I couldn't help overhearing what you said to the cashier. It sounds like you're going through a really hard time right now. I'm so sorry. I'd like to give you something."

I handed her the small card from my purse. When the woman read the two words "You Matter" on the card, she began to cry. And through her tears, she said: "You have no idea how much this means to me."

I was a little startled by her reply. Having never done anything like this before, I didn't know what kind of reaction I might receive. All I could think to say was: "Would it be OK to give you a hug?"

A few days earlier, one of my workmates gave a similar card to me as encouragement for a project I was working on. When I read the card, I felt a warm glow spread inside of me. Deeply touched, I ordered my own box of "You Matter" cards and started sharing them.