Why College Is Not Home

The college years are supposed to be a time for important growth in autonomy(自主性) and the development of adult identity. However, now they are becoming an extended period of adolescence, during which many of today's students and are not shouldered with adult responsibilities.

For previous generations, college was decisive break from parental control; guidance and support needed help from people of the same age and from within. In the past two decades, however, continued connection with and dependence on family, thanks to cellphones, email and social media, have increased significantly. Some parents go so far as to help with coursework. Instead of promoting the idea of college as a passage from the shelter of the family to autonomy and adult responsibility, universities have given in to the idea that they should provide the same environment as that of the home.

            To prepare for increased autonomy and responsibility, college needs to be a time of exploration and experimentation. This process involves “trying on ” new ways of thinking about oneself both intellectually(在思维方面) and personally. While we should provide “safe spaces” within colleges, we must also make it safe to express opinions and challenge majority views. Intellectual growth and flexibility are fostered on debate and questioning.

Learning to deal with the social world is equally important. Because a college community(群体) differs from the family, many students will struggle to find a sense of belonging. If students rely on administrators to regulate their social behavior and thinking pattern, they are not facing the challenge of finding an identity within a larger and complex community.

Moreover, the tendency for universities to monitor and shape student behavior runs up against another characteristic of young adults: the response to being controlled by their elders. If acceptable social behavior is too strictly defined(规定) and controlled, the insensitive or aggressive behavior that administrators are seeking to minimize may actually be encouraged.

It is not surprising that young people are likely to burst out, particularly when there are reasons to do so. Our generation once joined hands and stood firm at times of national emergency. What is lacking today is the conflict between adolescent's desire for autonomy and their understanding of an unsafe world. Therefore, there is the desire for their dorms to be replacement homes and not places to experience intellectual growth.

Every college discussion about community values, social climate and behavior should include recognition of the developmental importance of student autonomy and self-regulation, of the necessary tension between safety and self-discovery.

    Language learning apps are very popular now and offer opportunities to learn vocabulary and practice grammar. But there has been a discussion about just how effective such apps can be.

    Among the most popular apps are Duolingo and Busuu. A previous research found positive results on the use of them. But it mainly concentrated on studies with learners who had signed up to language courses and these apps worked as an after-class support, so the results were not always reliable. A recent study of 4,095 Busuu users has been carried out aimed to find out if users can actually learn a language with an app.

    Busuu provides learning materials for 12 different languages. It offers special model where some content is available for free while some content is not. We find that its users are an even mix of men and women. More than half consider themselves to be at the beginner level as there is a decrease in users as their language levels go up. Most people use the app because of personal interest, or because they want to study or live abroad. Female users tend to use it less often but for longer periods of time than male users.

    Getting any feedback on Busuu depends on whether your answer is correct or not. While it is helpful, this is not the sort of feedback language teachers prefer, as it does not explain why the answer is right or wrong. In spite of this, feedback in the app is very highly rated.

    More than 92% of respondents state that the app has met their expectations and 86% rate the app as very good or good. In fact, more than 80% of the users surveyed strongly agree that using the app has helped them improve their knowledge of the language they are learning.

    Besides, language learning apps also create an environment where mistakes are only known to the users, and this can address the performance anxiety that many learners suffer from when asked to speak a foreign language. So language teachers should encourage their students to use them to do the grammar work, leaving precious class time for more language communication.

    Technological change is everywhere and affects every aspect of life, mostly for the better. However, social changes brought about by new technology are often mistaken for a change in attitudes.

    An example at hand is the involvement of parents in the lives of their children who are attending college. Surveys (调查) on this topic suggests that parents today continue to be "very" or "somewhat" overly-protective even after their children move into college dormitories. The same surveys also indicate that the rate of parental involvement is greater today than it was a generation ago. This is usually interpreted as a sign that today's parents are trying to manage their children's lives past the point where this behavior is appropriate.

    However, greater parental involvement does not necessarily indicate that parents are failing to let go of their "adult" children.

    In the context (背景) of this discussion, it seems valuable to first find out the cause of change in the case of parents' involvement with their grown children. If parents of earlier generations had wanted to be in touch with their college-age children frequently, would this have been possible? Probably not. On the other hand, does the possibility of frequent communication today mean that the urge to do so wasn't present a generation ago? Many studies show that older parents - today's grandparents - would have called their children more often if the means and cost of doing so had not been a barrier.

    Furthermore, studies show that finances are the most frequent subject of communication between parents and their college children. The fact that college students are financially dependent on their parents is nothing new; nor are requests for more money to be sent from home. This phenomenon is neither good nor bad; it is a fact of college life, today and in the past.

    Thanks to the advanced technology, we live in an age of bettered communication. This has many implications well beyond the role that parents seem to play in the lives of their children who have left for college. But it is useful to bear in mind that all such changes come from the technology and not some imagined desire by parents to keep their children under their wings.

    If you live in Shanghai, you might have to take a "lesson" in sorting garbage, as the city recently introduced new garbage-sorting regulations. It's now required that people should sort garbage into four categories, namely recyclable, harmful, dry and wet waste. However, if people fail to sort their garbage properly, they can be fined up to 200 yuan. More cities are introducing similar regulations, following the practice in Shanghai. By the end of 2020, garbage-sorting systems will have been built in 46 major Chinese cities, including Beijing and Shenzhen, reported People's Daily.

    According to a study by the Policy Research Center for Environment and Economy, under the Ministry of Ecology and Environment, over 90 percent of the public believe that garbage sorting is important for the protection of the environment. However, garbage sorting is still a big problem in China. Only 30 percent of participants said they think they are adequately sorting their trash, the study noted.

    According to Xinhua News Agency, it's partly because many people lack the willingness to sort their own waste. In the past, some previous garbage regulations didn't give clear fines for people who failed to sort garbage. "It's a must to have a legal guarantee to promote garbage sorting." Liu Jianguo, a professor from Tsinghua University, told China Daily. He also added "the importance of the new regulations in Shanghai is to change the past voluntary action into compulsory action for everyone"

    Aside from China, many other foreign countries have also introduced garbage-sorting regulations. In Japan, waste sorting has become a basic survival skill, reported Xinhua. There is a fixed time for disposal of each kind of garbage and littering can result in high fines and even jail time. In Germany too, people are asked to sort waste into specific categories, reported HuffPost. For example, in Berlin, people have yellow bins for plastic and metals and blue bins for paper and cardboard.

    Need a fall fix? Try one from these great places.

    ⒈Mackinac Island, Michigan

    The only way to reach this famed car-free island is by boat and ferry, and once visitors arrive, they are attracted by the history, scenery and fall colors. "It's a throwback to years past, a little town, and there's a big state park as well," Blackwell says. "You're allowed to have boats all around the island."

    ⒉Tellico Lake, Tennessee

    With nearly 400 miles of shoreline, this waterway flowing out of the Great Smoky Mountains is largely unexploited, well-protected in its natural state. Fall visitors find a range of colors reflecting in the clean waters, says Blackwell, who vacationed in the area with his family as a child. "The thick forest there just allows you to see more greenery and wildlife."

    ⒊Dillon Reservoir, Colorado

    With an hour from Denver, this lake is home to what claims to be the nation's highest sailing club, at an altitude of more than 9,000 feet. Marinas in the towns of Dillon and Frisco make it easy to get out on the water and to see the bright yellows and golds of fall leaves. "People are surprised that there's boating in Colorado, and you can see the mountains just before the snowball," Blackwell says.

    ⒋Lake Monroe, Indiana

    The state's largest lake is surrounded by more than 13,000 acres of protected forest and three recreation areas, making it an ideal place to see fall colors, particularly from oaks and the tulip poplar, the state tree. " It's a gem (宝石) in southern Indiana," says Blackwell, who grew up in the area. "There are lots of different activities: canoeing, kayaking and fishing."

    Convincing someone to change their mind is really the process of convincing them to change their tribe (部落). If they abandon their beliefs, they run the risk of losing social ties. You can't expect someone to change their mind if you take away their community too.

    The way to change people's minds is to become friends with them, to combine them into your tribe, to bring them into your circle. Now, they can change their beliefs without the risk of being abandoned socially.

    The British philosopher Alain de Botton suggests that we simply share meals with those who disagree with us: "Sitting down at a table with a group of strangers has the incomparable and odd benefit of making it a little more difficult to hate them without punishment. Prejudice and conflict between groups of people from different nations or races feed off abstraction. However, during a meal, something about handing dishes around, unfolding napkins (餐巾纸) at the same moment, even asking a stranger to pass the salt makes us less likely to hold the belief that the outsiders who wear unusual clothes and speak in distinctive accents deserve to be sent home or attacked. For all the large-scale political solutions which have been proposed to ease racial or cultural conflict, there are few more effective ways to promote tolerance between suspicious neighbours than to force them to eat supper together."

    Perhaps it is not difference, but distance that produces tribalism and unfriendliness. As proximity increases, so does understanding. I am reminded of Abraham Lincoln's quote, "I don't like that man. I must get to know him better." Facts don't change our minds. Friendship does.

    The Japanese writer Haruki Murakami once wrote, "Always remember that to argue, and win, is to break down the reality of the person you are arguing against. It is painful to lose your reality, so be kind, even if you are right."

    When we are in the moment, we can easily forget that the goal is to connect with the other side, cooperate with them, befriend them, and integrate them into our tribe. We are so caught up in winning that we forget about connecting. It's easy to spend your energy labeling people rather than working with them.

    The word "kind (family and relatives)" originated from the word "kin (old fashion of family and relatives)." When you are kind to someone, it means you are treating them like family. This, I think, is a good method for actually changing someone's mind. Develop a friendship. Share a meal. Gift a book. Be kind first, be right later.