Pacing and Pausing

    Sara tried to befriend her old friend Steve's new wife, but Betty never seemed to have anything to say. While Sara felt Betty didn't hold up her end of the conversation, Betty complained to Steve that Sara never gave her a chance to talk. The problem had to do with expectations about pacing and pausing.

    Conversation is a turn-taking game. When our habits are similar, there's no problem. But if our habits are different, you may start to talk before I'm finished or fail to take your turn when I'm finished. That's what was happening with Betty and Sara.

    It may not be coincidental that Betty, who expected relatively longer pauses between turns, is British, and Sara, who expected relatively shorter pauses, is American. Betty often felt interrupted by Sara. But Betty herself became an interrupter and found herself doing most of the talking when she met a visitor from Finland. And Sara had a hard time cutting in on some speakers from Latin America or Israel.

    The general phenomenon, then, is that the small conversation techniques, like pacing and pausing, lead people to draw conclusions not about conversational style but about personality and abilities. These habitual differences are often the basis for dangerous stereotyping (思维定势). And these social phenomena can have very personal consequences. For example, a woman from the southwestern part of the US went to live in an eastern city to take up a job in personnel. When the Personnel Department got together for meetings, she kept searching for the right time to break in — and never found it. Although back home she was considered outgoing and confident, in Washington she was viewed as shy and retiring. When she was evaluated at the end of the year, she was told to take a training course because of her inability to speak up.

    That's why slight differences in conversational style — tiny little things like microseconds of pause — can have a great effect on one's life. The result in this cause was a judgment of psychological problems — even in the mind of the woman herself, who really wondered what was wrong with her and registered for assertiveness training.

    This March is a busy month in Shanghai．There's a lot to do．Here are the highlights.

Live Music — Late Night Jazz

    Enjoy real American jazz from Herbie Davis, the famous trumpet player．He's coming with his new 7-piece band, Herbie's Heroes ． Herbie is known to play well into the early hours, so don't expect to get much sleep．This is Herbie's third visit to Shanghai．The first two were sold out, so get your tickets quickly.

PLACE: The Jazz Club DATES: 15—23 March

PRICE: ￥80,120        TIME: 10:00p.m．till late!

TEL: 6466—8736

Scottish dancing

    Take your partners and get ready to dance till you drop． Scottish dancing is fun and easy to learn．Instructors will demonstrate the dances．The live band, Gordon Stroppie and the Weefrees, are also excellent.

PLACE: Jack Stein's            DATES: every Monday

PRICE: Y60 including one drink TIME: 7:00 —0:00 p.m.

TEL: 6402-1877

Exhibitions — Shanghai Museum

    There are 120,000 pieces on show here．You can see the whole of Chinese history under one roof．It's always interesting to visit, but doubly(加倍地) so at the moment with the Egyptian Tombs exhibition．There are lots of mummies and more gold than you've ever seen before．Let us know if you see a mummy move!

PLACE: Shanghai Museum    PRICE: ￥30 (￥15 for students)

TEL: 6888-6888             DATES: daily

TIME: Monday — Friday 9:00a.m．— 5:00p.m., Weekends 9:00a.m. — 9:00p.m.

Dining — Sushi chef in town

    Sushi(寿司) is getting really big in Shanghai．In Japan, it's become an art form．The most famous Sushi "artist" is Yuki Kamura．She's also one of the few female chefs in Japan．She'll be at Sushi Scene all of this month.

PLACE: Sushi Scene in the Shanghai Hotel      DATES: all month

PRICE: ￥200         TIME: lunch time

TEL: 6690-3211

For a full listing of events, see our website.

    Enrique Iglesias is a most successful singer! Born in 1975 in Madrid, Spain, Enrique is the child of the famous singer Julio Iglesias. Enrique's mother is a journalist. His parents divorced in 1978. Although Enrique lived with his mother, she sent him to live with his father because of concerns about her son's safety. Enrique wanted to be a singer secretly, he didn't wish his father to know that and didn't want to live under his shelter. He sought his dream on his own.

    Enrique released(发行) his first album “Enrique Iglesias” in 1995. This album had a collection of rock ballads(民谣) and five singles from it went straight to the top spots in Latin music. This album was followed by another “Vivir” in 1997. Three singles from this album occupied the top spots on the Latin charts yet again! Enrique also found himself nominated(提名) for the “Favorite Latin Artist” at the American Music Awards. By 1998, he had released his 3^rd album, “Cosas Del Amor”.This year Enrique won the “Favorite Latin Artist”. “Bailamos” got him great fame. One of the songs in this album was also used in a movie. With the success of “Bailamos”, Enrique now already had many loyal fans. The album, “Enrique”, was released in 1999.

    The year 2001 brought more success for him. His album, “Escape” had a few singles that reached the top spots. Enrique became a household name. This album is his biggest successful album so far. “Hero” and “Don't Turn Off the Lights” soon turned Enrique into a super star. His next release in 2002 was a Spanish album “Quizas”. This album brought Enrique a “Latin Grammy Award” for the Best Pop Vocal Album. In 2007, he released another album “Insomniac” and the song “Do You Know” became an instantly popular song.

    1990 was a significant year in world events. In February, Nelson Mandela was set free after 27 years in prison. In October, East and West Germany became one country again. Then at the end of 1990, the World Wide Web was born. For this final event we have one man to thank, Tim Berners-Lee, the father of the Web.

    Berners-Lee was born on June 8, 1955 in London, England. His parents, both computer designers, encouraged him to think and work creatively as he grew up. He was an excellent student and naturally took an interest in computers and science.

    After graduating from Oxford University, Tim went to work at a science research center in Switzerland. There he developed some of the different systems that would later become the Web. The first was HTML, the computer language used to make web pages. The second was an address system that let computers anywhere find each other and send and receive information. In 1990, while still at the science center in Switzerland, he put them together to make the first Internet browser. It could run on any computer and allowed people to share their information with the rest of the world.

    Tim knew that the more people used the Web, the more useful it would be. He wasn't interested in money but knowledge, so he gave out his invention for free to anyone who was interested. Many were interested and the growth of the Internet began.

    Today Tim works as a professor at the MIT in America, researching new and interesting ways to use the Web. He has received many awards from governments and organizations for his efforts. He is still not very interested in money. That is why he is so admired by his students and workmates. It may also be one of the reasons why few people outside the world of technology know his name.

    The 14-year-old, Amit Dodani, a talented speaker and persuasive debater at school, suffered as a child from a speech disorder.

    He began working with a speech therapist (理疗师) when he was 6 years old, but it was his decision to try out for debate team at the end of seventh grade that helped him most.

    “That experience changed my life,” he wrote after his team went on to nationals. “It gave me hope, and helped me see my own true potential.”

    Since he launched MynameMystory last year, the site has attracted national and even international attention. Amit's mom said her son's website is meant to send a message that no one is alone in their experience, showing how people overcame their challenges and how others can, too.

    “The big thing that clicked in Amit was the belief that people are really needed (to help each other) in this country,” she said. “I wasn't surprised he wanted to do this, because at such a young age he had this spirit in him.”

    In addition to the website, Amit also wanted to expand the idea of sharing stories. So he asked his friends and classmates to donate books to distribute to local hospitals. He hoped to collect perhaps 1,000, but in just two weeks, he received more than 2,300 donations.

    “There was an absolute connection between the website and books,” Amit said. “But books are something that can really make a difference to someone who is in the hospital and can't go to school.”

    Amit said he's hoping to organize a large live event for MynameMystory at the end of this year at Chaminade High School in West Hills. Those who shared their stories on the website will be invited to speak and encourage others to share their stories of overcoming challenges.

    “We're hoping for big things,” Amit said. “We have a lot of events planned out for the future. The goal is basically to inspire people in a different way.”

    Have you ever complained, "I remember reading it, but I can't remember what it said? " then you should try the SQ4R reading method.

    S = Survey. The first step is to take a few minutes skimming the chapter. Don't read it yet, just look at topic headings, key words, and read the summary.

    Q = Question. As you prepare to read the chapter, turn the first topic into a question or two. As you read, seach for the answer. This will help you organize your reading-find the parts that answer your question, give an example, consist of related information or that may answer a later question. Most importantly, this gives you a reason to read the next paragraph.

    R = Read. Read in short "bites" (部分), then determine how that answers question(s) you originally posed (提出). Often as you read other questions will arise.

    R = Recite. Now can you answer your question(s) in your own words? If you can't, reread the material to find the answers or determine if you need to change the question. You are rehearsing (重复，默诵) for the time when you will need o know the answer. A good technique for rehearsing answers is to briefly jot down (草草记下) the key words that remind you of the essence of the answer without writing down every detail.

    R = Relate. Most of us try to relate what we are reading to what we already know. It is always easier and more satisfying to remember information that is personally meaningful. Everything has a context. Some information may take more reflection before you are able to grasp its relationship with what you already know while other information may simply require more research, to understand how it fits with other data.

    R = Review. One way to minimize memory decay (衰退) and to store the material you have studied firmly in your mind is by reviewing it. After you finish reading the entire chapter, skim back over it and any note you made.

    Effective studying requires effective reading. Rather than getting "intellectual indigestion" while reading straight through a chapter, instead you should stop to survey, question, read, recite, relate, and review so as to improve your reading comprehension.