"Some secrets are hidden from health," wrote John Updike in his poem "Fever".

    I have experienced the truth of Updike's observation. My excellent health kept me from seeing some things—things that became secrets of sort.

    One relates to my son Chris. When I lost my health in March, I discovered something I had missed about him.

    Christopher has been a scholar and athlete through high school. He has behaved responsibly, engaged in community service. He has had an impressive peer group of serious students.

    While I saw these things, I had missed before what I experienced while in hospital. Early on, Christopher offered the clearest and most forceful words about my need to be positive and to fight acute leukemia(急性白血病). He never left the room after a visit without making me promise that I would be mentally tough and positive.

    During the first week, he showed his own mental toughness, researching leukemia and learning what the chances were. He even stopped my doctor outside the room, introduced himself and asked directly what he thought of my chances. He processed the answer without overreaction.

    Christopher did admonish(劝告) me against my choice of words the first week at home. I had moved back into my room from weighing myself, discovering a thin figure I did not know. I announced to him and my wife, “dead man walking”. I thought it was a way to lighten the obvious. He saw it as negativity and was strongly against such thinking and talking.

    When I resisted taking medicine sometimes, Christopher formed a “good-cop-bad-cop” team with his mother. Betsy gently and patiently encouraged. He directly and forcefully insisted. He always made the logical arguments for why I needed to take some awful pills.

    My health had hidden something from me; my ill-health helped me to see it.

    There are two types of people in the world. Although they have equal degree of health and wealth and other comforts of life, one becomes happy, the other becomes unhappy. This arises from the different ways in which they consider things, persons, events and the resulting effects upon their minds.

    People who are to be happy fix their attention on the convenience of things. The pleasant parts of conversation, the well prepared dishes, the goodness of the wine, the fine weather. They enjoy all the cheerful things. Those who are to be unhappy think and speak only of the opposite things. Therefore, they are continually dissatisfied. By their remarks, they sour the pleasure of society, offend (hurt) many people, and make themselves disagreeable everywhere. If this turn of mind was founded in nature, such unhappy persons would be the more to be pitied. The intention of criticizing and being disliked is perhaps taken up by imitation. It grows into a habit, unknown to its possessors. The habit may be strong, but it may be cured when those who have it realize its bad effects on their interests and tastes. I hope this little warning may be of service to them, and help them change this habit.

    Although in fact it is chiefly an act of the imagination, it has serious results in life since it brings on deep sorrow and bad luck. Those people offend many others; nobody loves them, and no one treats them with more than the most common politeness and respect. This frequently puts them in bad temper and draws them into arguments. If they want to get some advantages in social position or fortune(财), nobody wishes them success. Nor will anyone start a step or speak a word to favor their hopes. If they bring on themselves public objections（反对）, no one will defend or excuse them, and many will join to criticize their wrong doings. These should change this bad habit and be pleased with what is pleasing, without worrying needlessly about themselves and others. If they do not, it will be good for others to avoid any contact(接触) with them. Otherwise, it can be unpleasing and sometimes very inconvenient, especially when one becomes mixed up in their quarrels.

What brings a nation together? Of the four choices — shared values, language, history, and religion, it's shared values. In our latest poll (民意调査), seven out of 16 countries chose values as the greatest factor (因素）bringing a nation together, and six preferred language. Both choices scored high in the poll, suggesting that our values and how we express them are closely linked Still, history was not forgotten in some countries, particularly in Mexico and Russia. Even Canada and the United States chose national histories as the second-most important factor uniting their people. The biggest surprise? Not one country picked religion as its top choice.

    In life, we will succeed and fail often for reasons that are entirely out of our control. For instance, we can be incredibly nice and love someone deeply, and they may not love us back. We can work harder than anyone else in the office and still not be promoted to management. We can eat healthy food, exercise and stay away from alcohol and cigarettes, and still get sick.

    The bottom line is that life is not fair.

    That is a tough pill to swallow for many of us. As a result, some people shut down after being hit by even one unfair blow from life. They can't handle the fact that our efforts don't always get the results that we expect. But if we let life's unfairness defeat us, we will never receive the beautiful blessings (幸事) that life has in store for us.

    For example, my first marriage ended in divorce. To me, it felt very unfair. I had worked hard to be a good wife and mother. However, no matter what I did, I could not make the relationship work.

    I could have been shut down by that experience. I could have decided that if one person didn't appreciate me as a wife, then no one would. I could have given up. But I knew that I wanted to be married. I knew that I wanted to experience traditional family life. So I didn't let one seemingly unfair experience stop me from believing that I could one day be happily married. And then one day, I met this kind, thoughtful, generous man with whom I now have a wonderful friendship and marriage. But that wouldn't have happened if I had decided to give up after one failed marriage.

    What I've learned over the years is that we can do all the things that deserve a good outcome, but get bad things in return instead.

    When we are faced with life's seeming unfairness, our faith needs to jump in. When life doesn't go according to plan, we have to let go of the outcome that we are looking forward to and keep trying, working hard and doing the right thing. Please don't be discouraged. Accept that life is neither fair nor straightforward. And by knowing that if we remain confident, we can drive our unfair experiences away and use them for our benefit.

    This activity will melt away the pounds, build your body and leave you on an emotional high. Yet the form of exercise, the fitness trend of the year, does not require gym membership or a personal trainer. All you need to do is walk.

    “Walking is a refreshing alternative to complicated aerobic ( 氧) routines and overpriced gym membership,” says personal trainer Lucy Knight, author of a new book on the exercise. “It is free, enjoyable and already a part of everyday life. All you need to do is correct your technique, walk faster and for longer and you will lose weight.”

    There is much evidence of the benefits of walking. Scientists at the University of Pittsburgh recently discovered that overweight people who walked briskly ( 快) for 30 to 60 minutes a day lost weight even if they didn't change any other lifestyle habits. Another American study found that people who walked for at least four hours a week gained less weight than couch potatoes as they got older. Researchers at the University of Massachusetts medical school found that people who walked every day had 25 percent fewer colds than those who sat a lot. Best of all, walking makes you feel good about yourself. “For people suffering from depression, walking three to four times a week for 30 minutes has been shown to lift their mood,” says Knight.

    But how to walk your way to weight loss and wellness? Health experts recommend that we should walk 10,000 steps a day to stay healthy. Actually you would probably need to walk at least 16,000 steps a day to lose weight. “Your workout plans depend on your level of fitness. You should aim to progress by increasing your walking time by five minutes every two weeks, and walk a bit faster. In just three months, the results should speak for themselves,” says Knight.

    You have heard the words “that which does not kill you makes you stronger”. I have found it true. But I also believe in the philosophy that we are not defined (定义) by what happens to us, but by what we do when things happen to us.

    Some friends think we have had far more than our share of bad things occur, but I don't think bad things are shared. They are events that occur as the result of many aspects, sometimes far past our control or even knowledge of them. I am also a firm believer in the laws of unintended consequences — one event causes things that are quite unexpected, sometimes positive, sometimes not.

    So as I considered the question of “What motivates me?” and sought an answer, it struck me that I simply refuse to be defeated. I won't let life or events tear me down to the point at which I am no longer me, or simply stop being.

    In 2008, I battled three types of cancer, had four cancer operations, the firm I worked for closed without notice, my wife was in a horrible car accident, got laid off from her company, the economy devastated our life savings, … and that was for starters.

    We also lost two family members and my closest friend. He was the last person I would expect to pass away out of our friends. But a disease took hold of him 9 years earlier. His memorial service was filled with love, and many of us told about his joy of life, humor, his achievements, and the challenges he had overcome in his life — which were many and painful. He would not be defeated in his life either.

    Today, my wife and I are hand-in-hand, continuing trying to live our lives with dignity, although living it differently from the end of 2007.