One day, a woman walked into a pet store to buy a bird for her Thanksgiving Day party. The guy said, “We only have one parrot. But I think you do not want it because it can talk…”

    The woman said happily, “That's great. I've always wanted a talking bird.”

    So the guy said, “Since you are a nice lady, I'll give it to you as a gift.”

    And the lady went home and put the bird on her bed and walked out of the room. But as soon as she walked into the kitchen, the bird started to speak dirty words as loud as it could. The woman walked back into the room thinking, “I can't have this at my party!” So she took the bird and put it in the fridge.

    A few hours later, while the woman was eating, she remembered that her bird was still in the fridge. Quickly, she opened the door and found it was shivering. Then she took out the bird at once. She said to the bird, “I'll keep you out of there if you don't use that language again. Do you agree with me?”

    The bird nodded and asked, “Can I just ask a quick question?” The lady nodded and said, “Yes, you may.”

    The bird pointed at the turkey behind him and asked, “What did he do?”

    Isaac Newton, the great British scientist, is often so deep in his thoughts that he will forget to eat his dinner.

    One day his friend came to have dinner with him. Dinner was put on the table but Newton didn't come out of his study（书房）. His friend sat down and waited for him. After waiting for quite a long time, he decided that Newton must be so deep in some new theory that he forgot all about the dinner. So he began to eat the chicken without Newton.

    When he finished, he thought he would play a joke on his friend. He put all the chicken bones（骨头）back on the dish and covered them with the dish over. Then he left Newton's house. He was quite certain that his joke would work.

    Several hours later, Newton came out of his study, feeling very hungry. He saw the table was ready for dinner and so he sat down. When he lifted the cover and saw the bones of the chicken, he was greatly surprised. He turned, looked at the clock, and saw that it was long past his usual time for dinner.

    "Well, well," he said to himself, "I thought I ate nothing, but I am wrong." He got up from table and went back to his study and began to work again.

    Home Alone is a very funny 1990 American film. It tells us a boy who is left at home alone by accident.

    One night before Christmas, McAlister family meet at their house. They are planning to fly to Paris for the holiday and are busy getting ready. Eight-year-old Kevin is the youngest child and he is fighting with his brothers, sisters and cousins. When he goes to bed, he is so angry that he wishes all his family would go away. In the morning, everyone wakes up very late. They are all in hurry to get to the airport, so they forget Kevin and he is left alone at home.

Although Kevin is alone, he is very happy at first. His terrible family have gone—his wish has come true. He watches TV, eats lots of fast food and play games. He has a good time. But later on, he goes out and hears two bad men called Harry and Lary. Many things in the house get broken as Kevin tries to stop them. Finally, the police come and the men are taken away.

    The house is now in a mess, so Kevin tidies it up and waits for his parents. They get back from Paris and are very happy to find that Kevin is safe.

    The designer of the Apple Computer, Steve Jobs, was not quite successful in his early years. He was not among the best students at school, and from time to time he got into trouble with either his schoolmates or his teachers. But he was full of new ideas, which few people saw the value of. Things remained the same when he went up to college and he dropped out halfway.

    Steve Jobs worked first as a video game designer at Atari. He worked there for only a few months and then he set out to tour India He hoped that the trip would give him more ideas and give him a change in life for the better.

    After he returned from India, he began to live on a farm in California. And then, in 1975, Steve Jobs set about making a new type of computer. Along with his friend Stephen Wozniak, he designed the Apple Computer in his bedroom and built it in his garage(车库). He chose the name 'Apple' because it reminded him of a happy summer he once spent on an orchard(果园) in Oregon. His Apple Computer was so successful that Steve Jobs soon became worldwide famous. But unluckily, he died of illness in 2012.

    Frank was clever, but he never liked to work hard. He often said to his friends, "If you work hard, you will make a lot of money, but it is not so good. I want easy work and a lot of money. That's the most interesting thing in the world. "So he could only be a thief. But he still thought it was too much work, so he only told his friends what to do and got money from them.

    One day, Frank sent one of his friends to a very large and beautiful house. He told him to get money from that rich family. It was evening, and a man and a girl were in the room. They were playing a duet(二重奏)on a piano. Then the thief came into the house.

    When he returned, Frank asked him what he had got. But he said, "I didn't take anything. That family can't have much money. You know, two people were playing on the same piano there. They did not have money to buy another piano."