It seems that no one can live a happy life without friendship. While a great number of people expect others to be their friends, they don't give friendship back. That is why some friendships don't last long. To have a friend, you must learn to be one. You must learn to treat your friend the way you want your friend to treat you. Learning to be a good friend means learning three rules: be honest; be generous; be understanding.

    Honesty is where a good friendship starts. Friends must be able to trust one another. If you do not tell the truth, people usually find out. If a friend finds out that you haven't been honest, you may lose your friend's trust. Good friends always depend on one another to speak and act honestly.

    Generosity means sharing and sharing makes a friendship grow. You do not have to give your lunch money or your clothes. Naturally you will want to share your ideas and feelings. These can be very valuable to a friend. They tell your friend what is important to you. By sharing them, you help your friend know better.

    Sooner or later everyone needs understanding and help with each other. Something may go wrong at school. Talking about the problem can make it easier to solve. Turning to a friend can be a first step in solving the problem. So to be a friend you must listen and understand. You must try to put yourself in your friend's place so that you can understand the problem better.

    No two friendships are exactly alike. But all true friendships have three things in common. If you plan to keep your friends, you must practice honesty, generosity and understanding.

    Food festivals around the world

    Norman Garmezy, a development psychologist at the University of Minnesota, met thousands of children in his four decades of research. A nine-year-old boy in particular stuck with him. He has an alcoholic mother and an absent father. But each day he would walk in to school with a smile on his face. He wanted to make sure that "no one would feel pity for him and no one would know his mother's incompetence." The boy exhibited a quality Garmezy identified as "resilience".

    Resilience presents a challenge for psychologists. People who are lucky enough to never experience any sort of adversity (逆境) won't know how resilient they are. It's only when they're faced with obstacles, stress, and other environmental threats that resilience, or the lack of it, comes out. Some give in and some conquer.

    Garmezy's work opened the door to the study of the elements that could enable an individual's success despite the challenges they faced. His research indicated that some elements had to do with luck, but quite large set of elements was psychological, and had to do with how the children responded to the environment. The resilient children had what psychologists call an "internal lens of control(内控点)". They believed that they, and not their circumstances, affected their achievements. The resilient children saw themselves as the arrangers of their own fates.

    Ceorge Bonanno has been studying resilience for years at Columbia University's Teachers College. He found that some people are far better than others at dealing with adversity. This difference might come from perception(认知) whether they think of an event as traumatic(创伤), or as an opportunity to learn and grow. "Stressful" or "traumatic" events themselves don't have much predictive power when it comes to life outcomes. "Exposure to potentially traumatic events does not predict later functioning," Bonanno said. "It's only predictive if there's a negative response." In other words, living through adversity doesn't guarantee that you'll suffer going forward.

The good news is that positive perception can be taught. "We can make ourselves more or less easily hurt by how we think about things," Bonanno said. In research at Columbia, the neuroscientist Kevin Ochsner has shown that teaching people to think of adversity in different ways--to reframe it in positive terms when the initial response is negative, or in a less emotional way when the initial response is emotionally "hot"—changes how they experience and react to the adversity.

Since 1993, Chicken Soup for the Soul has been a socially conscious company that combines storytelling with making the world a better place. We tell the stories of all people through our efforts, always with an eye to furthering unity and understanding, and an appreciation for our differences.

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Best Walking Tours in London

London is one of the most walkable capital cities in the world. People may think you're mad if you do drive a car around town. Besides, nothing quite lets you get to know a city like a good walk around. So, lace up your sneakers—here are London's best walking tours for your next visit.

Tour for Muggles

This is a can't-miss trip in England. The tour starts near London Bridge subway station and moves on to locations used in the Harry Potter films (and several book locations). There's one subway ride (London Bridge to Westminster) but otherwise it's all on foot Groups are capped to 20 and accept tourists of all ages.

Jermyn Street Fashion Walk

A seriously professional private tour to match your preferences. Groups are recommended no larger than eight, and it's all done on foot. Most of the guides, who lead the Jermyn Street walk, have a background of art, history or fashion, and one even trained as a tailor.

Historic Pubs, Food &Beer Tour

Think of this as a walk with friends rather than a tour (groups are capped at 12). You meet at a best selfie spot-at Rotherhithe, overlooking the Thames—then catch the overground train to the pubs. By reservation only. Five of London's most historic pubs in four hours is not an easy but worthwhile task.

East End Walks

East End Walks is a collection of 15 tours run by one man, David Rosenberg. The tours cover the social history of the traditionally working class area. Groups are capped at 30; you meet near the subway station. Rosenberg, whose grandparents moved to the East End as children, loves the area and its social history a lot—it holds the story of the working class, which is rarely told.