Dearest darling girl,

    Today is the beginning of the next stage in your life. We head off to your new home at Stanford. Where do I start in telling you how proud I feel to be called Mummy by you? We've laughed at how you burst into this world with a scowl on your face, how determined you have always been right from feeding yourself to making big decisions for your life. There were days during your illness that I wasn't sure you had the will to make it. Telling you that you needed to want to get better was the hardest and yet the greatest day. From that day you took responsibility and decided you wanted to beat anorexia（厌食症）．

    I don't think I've ever felt so proud of you as when you came home to say that you wanted to go to West Africa between school and university. You chose to go alone, and to raise the money yourself. You have such strength of character and determination. It is at times hard to believe that you are only 18. You experienced something in that month that few dare experience in a lifetime.

    So, Viv, here are my words of wisdom to you as you start your next big adventure. The world is a beautiful place but often a few things can make it seem difficult. God's temple is made of love. It's man's temple that is built of stones. Open your heart to goodness and never ever let negative people or thoughts take hold of you. As Minor Myers put it, "Go into the world and do we'll. But more importantly, go into the world and do good:'

    It is true that with every passing day, I will grow older and weaker. A day may come when I will become forgetful. But even then, you with your bright smile, will light up my heart.

Your Alo

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    Most people say “yes” much more readily than “no”.

    A friend is moving house this weekend and would like some help, and you agree. But, what you really wanted was a couple of quiet days relaxing at home. Or a roommate spends the entire weekends playing video games and wants to borrow your homework for “reference”. But, you've just finished it after taking a whole day to work hard.

    Many people say “yes” to those kinds of requests. They tend not to consider their own interests and feelings, and are often angry with themselves afterwards.

    Saying “no” requires courage and considerable practice, in fact, according to psychologists.

    “Everyone wants to be liked,” says Gabriel Steinki, a German psychologist. “Saying ‘no' risk losing the affection of the person asking the favor or even a job.”

    The result is that many people say “yes” just for keeping the peace. But experts say this is regrettable. Anyone should have the right to say “no”.

    In fact, rejecting a request can even help to strengthen a relationship because it expresses a true feeling.

    But, for people used to agreeing to every request, changing can be a long and uncomfortable learning process.

    Most people believe that “If I say ‘no', I'll lose the affection of the person. But the affection is important to me.” This way of thinking can be replaced by this “If he only likes me because I always do what suits him, then the price of his affection is too high in the long term.”

    Steinki says the key is talking to the other person to find a mutual(相互的) solution. “One needs to present the situation from one's own point of view, and to suggest how the situation can be dealt with to the advantage of both parties. The other person must have the feeling that his interests are being considered.”

    When the refusal is not accepted, Steinki advises giving the reasons calmly again until the person gets the message.

    Where can you go to listen to important people talk about important subjects? BigThink.com is a new website that allows Internet users to discuss certain topics with world experts. Subjects discussed on BigThink include the environment, music and questions about happiness and personal identity. The website has been called a YouTube for thinkers. Victoria Brown and Peter Hopkins created BiThink.com They said that people needed an international place to communicate with each other and discuss the important issues (话题)of our times. On the BigThink website, when you click on (点击)a subject, you will find a video of a person talking about his or her ideas. For example, you can listen to United States Senator Ted Kennedy talking about education and other things. Besides, you can read the comments(评论) and questions written by other visitors to the website. More than one hundred experts have expressed their ideas on the website. BigThink's creators started the website by first getting famous people to agree to be videoed. They began by interviewing several well-known professors from Harvard University. Then they used the names of these professors to gain the trust of others and get them to take part in the project. The website says BigThink belongs to everyone. Its motto(格言) is: "We are what you think." So, go online and start thinking big.

    A couple of weeks ago, a few friends and I had an opportunity to attend a dear friend's wedding in New York. After the wedding and reception, rather accidentally four of us gathered in a hotel room and began to explore the deeper meaning of life and death. What does it mean to live truly? If we are all getting closer to death, is all the material accumulation worth it? It is not exactly the type of conversations one has at a wedding.

    While the answers varied from person to person, I was left with more questions than answers and a feeling of gratefulness to be surrounded by friends who were asking the “right” questions. As the clock kept ticking past 3 a.m., one of the roommates suggested we watch a short film titled “Last Days of Zach Sobiech”. The film is about a teenager's journey through the last days of his incurable illness. The film brought up a lot of mixed emotions but one quote that stood out for me was Zach's simple explanation of happiness, “What makes one happy is seeing someone else smile because you put it there.” By 4 a.m. , there was this energy in the room that had to be shared! With a few packages of post-it notes, we hit the halls of the hotel. We decided to leave short inspirational words on guests' doors, so when they opened their doors few hours later a smile would turn up.

    We ended up sticking post-it notes on all the doors until we ran out of them. The note on the door of the newly-weds properly said, “Where there is love, there is life.”

    Teenagers who spend hours in front of the television may have a poorer diet as young adults.

    A study, which included nearly 1,400 high school students, found those who watched TV for five hours or more per day had less healthy diets than peers(同龄人）five years later. Why does this happen? Should the parents take any measures?

    On the one hand, people who spend a lot of time in front of the TV, especially teenagers, may snack more, and that may affect their long-term diet quality.

    On the other hand, TV ads for fast food, sweets and snacks tempt teenagers to eat more of those foods. And TV time might also replace exercise time for some kids.

Lead researcher Dr. Daheia J. Barr-Anderson, of the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis, told Reuters Health a clear correlation between TV time during high school and diet quality in young adulthood. While the heaviest TV viewers were eating the most junk food , those who'd watched less than two hours per day had the highest intake(吸收)of fruits, vegetables, whole grains and high-calcium food. In her opinion, parents should limit and monitor TV viewing.

    As far as I am concerned, children should watch no more than two hours of television per day. And parents should set a good example by eating right, being physically active and curbing their own TV time.

    I came to the United States ten years ago. I would always say that I was trying to study, but there were always things like work and my kids that would not allow me to start.

    Now I realized that those were only excuses. What stopped me was that I was afraid to start studying again. I always believed I would learn by myself.

    One day, however, my son told me that he was sad because his friends would come over and I didn't understand them because I didn't speak English. He was also sad because I could never help him with his homework. That same day, I told myself, "Rocio, you have to start believing in yourself and you will see you can make it."

    The next day, I went downtown to look for a big banner (横幅) in front of the school which said that they offered classes for adults. I came in to see if I could join, but the classes were closed already. That night I took the kids to the movies, and on the way back, I told them we would take a new route. I ended up getting lost. That's the way I found Chaffey College. The following Monday, I went to ask for information. They told me that summer school was starting that week.

    That's how I started studying English last summer. It is difficult, but I have had great rewards. My daughter had written a story for school. It was about the female they most admired and why. She wrote that I was the person she most admired because I had started going to college. I will never forget this.