As a Fulbright（富布莱特法案基金）scholar at Yale, I wanted very much to get some individual help from some famous professors, but their office-hours were only once a week and there were always students waiting outside. At first, I was too polite to get their help. Then I realized that Chinese politeness does not work in this society. I needed to be aggressive to get what I wanted. I also noticed that Chinese students or Asian students were very polite in class while American students often interrupted the professor, asking questions and dominating the discussion. The Chinese students were not as aggressive as American students.

    I was impressed by the role of the professor in the class. The professor didn't act as an authority, giving final conclusions, but as a researcher looking for answers to questions together with the students. One linguistic feature of his interacting with his students was that he used many modal verbs-far more than I did in Beiwai. When answering questions, he usually said: “this is my personal opinion and it could be wrong. It would be a good idea if you could read the book I mentioned the other day.” Or,“ You may find the book I recommended helpful.” Or,“You could be right, but you might find this point of view also interesting.” When making comments on students' performances, the professor usually said:” It might have been much clearer if you had taken in some of the ideas we discussed earlier this semester.”

    In China, authorities are always supposed to give wise decisions and correct directions. Therefore students always expect the professor to give an answer to the question. I still remember how annoyed they were when foreign teachers did not provide such an answer. Their expectations from authorities are much higher than those of American students. Once the Chinese students got the answer, they were sure about it. That is why they make far more certain statement than American students. That is why Chinese students find it difficult to use modal verbs because the function of modal verbs is to provide room for negotiation and different ideas.

    Saber Miresmailli was on vacation in London when, caught in a bit of traffic on London Bridge, he decided to take a photo of Tower Bridge.

    “I noticed the couple,” he said. “At that moment, I did not see anyone from the wedding party or a photographer with the couple, so I took several pictures. Usually, my pictures are not very good given the fact that I don't use flash and I don't stop to compose (构图)-so when we get back after two weeks, I was very surprised to find this one turned out so well.”

    Miresmailli said, “I thought to myself, if it was me getting married, I would have wanted the picture.” So he posted the photo on Facebook and attached a few friends with the hope of finding the couple and passing them the picture. What happened next, he said, “was crazy”. “I received more than 2,000 requests from perfect strangers and lots of positive and negative emails.” Until this afternoon, almost 230,000 people had shared his Facebook post on the photo.

There's also been an uncertain identification of the couple. It's likely that their names are Laura and James. “If it's the right couple,” Miresmailli said, “they are on their honeymoon in Bali and have no idea about the photo. I believe they will be shocked to find out about their fame.”

    Miresmailli said he's been drowned by the interest in the photo. “I just want to give them their picture and go back to work and tend my tomatoes,” he said.

    Emma and Ryan, a married couple, were driving to a friend's house when Emma turned to Ryan and asked, “Would you like to stop for lunch?”

    Ryan replied. “No, I'm not hungry yet,” and continued driving. Meanwhile, Emma sat quietly fuming (十分恼火)in the passenger seat. Ryan could not understand why Emma was unhappy. He had thought she was asking if he was hungry, but in reality, Emma was telling him that she was hungry and wanted to stop for lunch.

    Misunderstandings like this often occur between men and women, even among people from the same culture. Deborah Tannen, professor of linguistics at Georgetown University in the United States, has studied conversational rules.

    In Emma and Ryan's situation, Emma was making a request in the form of a question. Her style of talking is common for women. She needed Ryan to agree they were both hungry. So, Emma asked Ryan what he wanted. She was really telling Ryan what she wanted; however, Ryan did not understand this. If he had been hungry, he would have said something more direct, such as, “I'm hungry. Let's have lunch.”

    Tannen believes that most women grow up in a world where talk is used to express feelings. However, most men are raised differently and they tend to keep their feelings to themselves.

    Tannen says, for men, talk is often used as a situation used outside the home to gain respect, to entertain and get attention , or to exchange information. This is why men communicate by making each other laugh, or talking about sport and work. These men do not always feel it is necessary to talk to feel close or to express their feelings. Women, on the other hand, are encouraged to speak about their feelings since this is a way to build relationships.

    I was driving my newly acquired motorcycle across the vastness of North Dakota when all of the sudden it froze up on the road. I would later be told the belt had slipped and this caused one of the pistons(活塞)to break a cylinder(气缸)head, or something like that.

    Anyway, I sat on the side of the road for what seemed like hours. I even pretended to have been in an accident, which didn't help. Finally, a young man pulled over and offered me a ride, but given that he already had two motorcycles in the back of his truck, he could only take me.

    He drove me to the next town, where I asked to be dropped off Rather than drop me off, he waited while I asked around if anyone could help me to pick up my motorcycle. One elderly gentleman was working and said that I could use his pickup! Can you imagine that a stranger gave me the keys to his pick up. It was quite an experience, I must say. So, as I drove back 20 miles to get my motorcycle, the gentleman who first stopped to help me followed me. We both put the motorcycle in the back of the truck and then I followed him another 50 miles or so and we both unloaded the motorcycle at his place. Then, he followed me back to the small town so I could return the man's truck. I didn't have much cash on me, maybe $40, but I gave it to the man for the use of his truck.

    Two strangers helped rescue me from spending the night on the side of the road in ND. I don't recall their names, but when I close my eyes I can see their faces as if it were yesterday. Thank you, strangers. You may be reading this right now.

    Being deaf in a hearing world can lead to painful feelings of isolation (孤独).

    Waitress Kelsey recently shared an experience on a social media sharing site that quickly zoomed (陡直上升) to the top of the" front page of the Internet". In her brief post, Kelsey explained that she waits tables at a bar during the evenings, and one night she noticed a deaf man sitting alone in her section (区域).

    When Kelsey isn't working at the bar she makes a good hourly pay doing sign language interpretation (翻译), so she sensed an opportunity to use her skill to make this customer feel a little less alone in the world. She approached his table and began chatting with him in sign language.

    When the table next to his noticed their silent conversation they asked Kelsey how long she'd been signing. They had a brief conversation about her goal of becoming certified (合格的) to interpret sign language in a medical or mental health setting. She didn't think much about the whole exchange until the customers had left the restaurant and she was tidying up the tables. There, on the table of the customers who'd seen her American sign language conversation with the deaf man, was a handwritten note on the receipt.

    "Thank you for what you do; it absolutely matters!" the note said. "Good luck with finishing your degree!" Not only that, but they'd left her a $100 tip.

    Kelsey was moved by the kind note, especially because she wasn't doing anything out of the ordinary. To her, she was just conversing with someone in a language that only they understood. Yet to the deaf man and the people seated next to him she'd bridged a gap and helped someone who probably feels lonely a lot of the time.

    Kelsey shared the note on the Internet to spread more love and light in the world.