It was a hot,humid day, and my brother Walt and I had decided that the only way to surviveit would be to go swimming in a deep swimming hole across Mr. Blickez's pasture(牧场) and through some woods.

    The onlyproblem with our plan was that this pasture was guarded by a huge, meanHereford bull. Mr. Blickez had told us that Elsie was the meanestbull in the township, maybe even the county, and we believed him. But the hotter it got, the more we thoughtthere was something fishy about his claim. For one thing, we remembered Mr. Blickez liked telling tall tales; for another, Elsie seemed like an oddname for a bull.

    Finally, Italked Mom into asking permission for us to walk through the pasture, but thenanother problem surfaced．Mom said she would talk to Mr. Blickez if we would take our cousin Joanie along with us. Joanie was almost two years older than me anda head taller. If her teasingever got around my grade school, it would be all over for me. In fact, I still had a headache from a quarrelwith her that morning.“I'm not goingswimming with that dumb girl cousin.” I told my mom.

  “Either Joaniegoes with, or you stay home alone,” Mom said in her serious tone. I gave in and we set out. On our way across the pasture, Walt yelledsuddenly. Elsie hadapproached him quietly and was licking(舔) his back. Joanie and Idove under the wire fence, but while I was on the ground I looked up and sawthat Elsie wasn't a big mean bull after all. She was going to keep licking my brother's back as long as he stoodstill.

    We had manygood days growing up and visiting our secret swimming hole guarded by theso-called “big mean bull”. And as it turned out, for a girl cousin, Joanie hasn't been too bad. She's been one of my best friends over theyears.

    Why do people lie? Many psychologists agree that lying can start from childhood. There are various reasons why children make false statements. They usually tell untruthful stories to cover up the mistakes that they have done in the past. Lying is also a way to avoid receiving punishments from parents. If parents fail to reprimand their children for making up false stories, then there is a possibility that they will continue to lie during their teenage years.

    Teenagers lie because they want to be accepted by their friends. This is the main reason why they create stories that are not true just to become presentable and acceptable to other people. In some instances, teenagers tell untruthful statements to avoid criticisms from their families and friends.

    As teenagers grow, lying becomes one of their habits. Their knowledge on making up untruthful stories becomes more developed. People lie in workplaces if they fail to meet the deadlines and if they fail to accomplish and do their tasks efficiently. Some of the common lies made in workplaces are getting sick and having emergencies at home. The danger involved in frequent lying is when it becomes a character. Frequent lying causes the development of the condition known to doctors as pathological(病态的) lying.

    Pathological lying is a mental health condition, which is associated with individuals who have the urge to tell untruthful statements. Patients suffering from it make up stories about everything and anything. These individuals pretend to meet the standards of other people who they want to please. These patients cheat other people because it gives them an unexplained pleasure. One of the best ways of treating pathological liars is to help them tell true statements and stories at all times. This may be hard for them, but as they are accustomed to it, they will start to realize that they will be more accepted by their families and other people if they stop themselves from making up false stories.

    Envelope Budget

    From McDonald's to Sonic, fast food had a bad effect on my waistline and my budget. It was nothing to run to a drive-through to pick up a cold drink or a quick bite to eat. It was so easy to use my card for a small purchase. For me, I got a lot of satisfaction from fast food.

    One day I sat down and calculated that I was spending a surprising $40 a week on fast food. This was a lot of iced coffee and hamburgers! Instead of reducing my guilty pleasures, I decided to give myself a strong budget to reduce my consumption. Every Monday I placed an envelope with $20 in my purse. That was my fast food budget for the entire week. If there was anything left over at the end of the week, it was mine to save or spend. If I spent all of the money during the week, there were no more fast food stops that week.

    The budget made me more mindful of my purchases. Instead of purchasing a large drink from Sonic, I would purchase a small. It was sill satisfying but not nearly as pricey. Instead of eating a whole meal, I would pick the part that I actually wanted. Many days, the thought of hanging onto the money for a special purpose meant more to me than the instant satisfaction of fast food. I never really felt unhappy because it was a conscious choice to spend or save with each purchase.

    Envelope budget kept me honest. I had a clear idea how much money was spent each week on fast food purchases. I started to bring my lunches more often to save more money for the week. It was a fun challenge to see how much I could save every week.

    Changing the way I spent on fast food not only helped my budget, but improved my weight. In the first month I was able to get rid of 5 pounds by simply changing the way I approached spending on fast food. Now I am more likely to bring my lunch than to buy it. I am not upset, but empowered to make positive choices to improve my life.

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    Two of the saddest words in the English language are "if only". I live my life with the goal of never having to say those words, because they convey regret, lost opportunities, mistakes, and disappointment.

    My father is famous in our family for saying, "Take the extra minute to do it right." I always try to live by the "extra minute" rule. When my children were young and likely to cause accidents, I always thought about what I could do to avoid an "if only" moment, whether it was something minor like moving a cup full of hot coffee away from the edge of a counter, or something that required a little more work such as taping padding (衬垫) onto the sharp corners of a glass coffee table.

    I don't only avoid those "if only" moments when it comes to safety. It's equally important to avoid "if only" in our personal relationships. We all know people who lost a loved one and regretted that they had foregone an opportunity to say "I love you" or "I forgive you." When my father announced he was going to the eye doctor across from my office on Good Friday, I told him that it was a holiday for my company and I wouldn't be here. But then I thought about the fact that he's 84 years old and I realized that I shouldn't give up an opportunity to see him. I called him and told him I had decided to go to work on my day off after all.

    I know there will still be occasions when I have to say "if only" about something, but my life is definitely better because of my policy of doing everything possible to avoid that eventuality. And even though it takes an extra minute to do something right, or it occasionally takes an hour or two in my busy schedule to make a personal connection, I know that I'm doing the right thing. I'm buying myself peace of mind and that's the best kind of insurance for my emotional well-being.

Is life a story or a game? Answers may vary from one to another. Over the course of life, we find things to love and commit to —a job, a partner or a community. At times, we struggle to learn from our misfortunes to grow in wisdom, kindness and grace.

Will Storr, a writer whose work I admire, says this story version of life is a misunderstanding. In his book The Status Game, he argues that human beings are deeply driven by status. Rather than about being liked or accepted, he writes, it's about being better than others. "When people are obedient to us, offer respect, admiration or praise, that's status. It feels good."

Life is a series of games, he adds. There's the high school game of competing to be the popular kid. The lawyer game to make partner. The finance game to make the most money. The academic game for fame. The sports game to show that our team is the best. Even when we are trying to do good, Storr claims, we're playing the "virtue game" to show we are morally superior to others.

I think Storr is in danger of becoming one of those guys who ignore the noble desires of the human heart and the caring element in every friendship and family. The status-mad world that Storr describes is so loveless. In fact, gaming as a way of life is immature. Maturity means rising above the shallow desire —for status —that doesn't really nourish us. It's about cultivating the higher desires: the love of truth and learning; the inner pleasure the craftsman gets in his work, which is not about popularity, and the desire for a good and meaningful life that inspires people to practise daily acts of generosity.

How do people gradually learn to cultivate these higher motivations? To answer that, I'd have to tell you a story.