Many parents have learned the hard way that what sounds like open communication is often the very thing that closes a youngster's ears and month. One common mistake is The Lecture, the long monologue that often starts with “When I was your age….” Eighteen-year-old Kelly calls lectures “long, one-side discussions in which I don't say much.”

    Kids reflexively（条件反射地） shut down in the face of a lecture. Their eyes glaze over(呆滞), and they don't register any incoming information. Listen to 13-year-old Sarah describe her least favorite times with her mom and dad. “First, they scream. Then comes the ‘We're so disappointed' speech. Then the ‘I never did that to my parents' lecture begins. After that, even if they realize how ridiculous they sound, they never take it back.”

    Lines like “When you have children of your own, you'll understand” have been seriously said by parents since time immemorial. But many of our expert parents, like Bobby, a registered nurse and mother of three, feel that by falling back on clichés（陈词滥调） to justify our actions, we weaken our position.

    Since kids are creatures of the here and now, the far-off future has no relevance to them. Therefore, good communicators like Bobby suggest, “Give specific reasons for your actions in present language: ‘I'm not letting you go to the party because I don't think there will be enough adult supervisions（监护）.'”

    Betty, who lives in Missiouri, uses an indirect approach. “I find that warnings are accepted more readily if I discuss a news article on a subject I am concerned about. My husband and I talk about it while our children absorb the information. Then they never think I'm preaching.”

    This really helped when Betty's kids began driving. Instead of constantly repeating “Don't drink; don't speed,” she would talk about articles in the paper and express sympathy for the victims of a car crash. Betty made no special effort to draw her kids into the conversation. She depended on a teen-ager's strong desire to put in his opinions-especially if he thinks he isn't being asked for them.

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    As the new semester begins, millions of college students across the country are trying hard to remember how best to write a paper or, more likely, how best to delay that paper.

    Procrastination is the thief of time and a lot of students suffer form it. They can spend whole days in the library doing nothing but staring into space, eating snacks, surfing the Internet, watching videos and looking at other students sitting around them, who, most likely are doing nothing either.

    Paralyzed (使失去活力) by their habit to procrastinate, they write micro blogs about their fears, asking their online friends if they sometimes have the same issue. But this does nothing to break the spell (魔咒).

    According to a recent report, 95 percent of us procrastinate at some point and 20 percent of the world's population are always procrastinating. The figures are disappointing. Procrastinators are less wealthy, less healthy and less happy than those who don't delay. Procrastinators like to find excuses to justify their behavior, but BBC columnist Rowan Pelling says they are all wrong.

    Many procrastinators tell themselves they are perfectionists who work best under pressure. Pelling says this is non sense, as work done at the last minute is more likely to have mistakes than work done on time. The behavior of procrastinators often makes them feel ashamed, inconveniences others and annoys loved ones.

    Pelling also points out that procrastination feels particularly delinquent（过失的） in a society that thinks of speedy action as admirable, and, at times, even as a moral good.

    Fortunately, social scientists have thrown their weight behind efforts to understand this behavioral mistake and offer strategies to control it. Piers Steel, a Canadian social scientist and author of The Procrastination Equation, believes human is “designed” to procrastinate. Nevertheless, he suggests a couple of good ways to get through the task at hand.

    "I didn't hear them call my name," explained Shelley Hennig to Active Teens (AT) as she talked about that exciting moment on national television when she won the honor of Miss Teen USA 2004. "Are you ready?" is what she heard. Then she said, "I shook my head no, and then they said 'yes' and it was announced again."

    It was four days after that life changing moment for the seventeen-year-old high school student from Destrehan, Louisiana — she was still on cloud nine.

    "I was so shocked! I never believed that it could actually really happen." Present in the audience that day were: her mother and father, older brother, her friends, and her dance teacher.

    Understanding why members of her family and her friends would be there, AT asked why her dance teacher had traveled so far to see her compete. "She's always been my role model. I've danced with her since I was six. She's been through so many difficulties and came through them all. I've learned to get over bad life's experiences and learned how to move on because of her."

    One of those bad life's experiences for Shelley happened three years ago when her brother Brad was killed in a drunk driving accident. He was 18. She found writing helped her get through the rough days. She said, "I write a lot about my brother. I write a lot, a lot, a lot..."

    As Miss Louisiana Teen, she traveled around the state speaking to teens about the dangers of drinking and driving. In her role as Miss Teen USA, Shelley will continue to speak to youth about safe driving, in addition to many other things to help the youth.

    When AT asked Miss Teen USA if she had any advice for our readers, she said, "Don't let anyone change you. Hang out with people that make you feel good about yourself. That way, it is easy to be yourself."

    In the years ahead, AI will raise three big questions for bosses and governments. One is the effect on jobs. Although bosses publicly praise the broad benefits AI will bring very much, their main interest lies in cutting costs. One European bank asked a technology company to find a way of reducing the staff in its operations department from 50,000 to 500. This special report has shown that AI-enhanced tools can help reduce staff in departments such as customer service and human resources by a large amount. The McKinsey Global Institute finds that by 2030 up to 375m people, or 14% of the global workers in companies or countries, could have their jobs automated away. Bosses will need to decide whether they are prepared to offer and pay for retraining, and whether they will give time off for it. Many companies say they are all for workers developing new skills, but not at the employer's expense.

    A second important question is how to protect privacy as AI spreads. The Internet has already made it possible to track people's digital（数字的）behaviour in extremely small detail. AT will offer even better tools for businesses to monitor consumers(客户) and workers, both online and in the physical world. Consumers are sometimes happy to go along with this if it results in personalised（个性化的）service. But AI probably brings privacy violations (侵犯) that are seen as shocking and morally unacceptable. In the wrong hands, useful technology could be against fair and equal treatment. Countries with a record of the careful watching of a person place, especially by the police or army and human-rights abuses already using AI to monitor political activity. The police around the world will use AI to spot criminals, but may also look on ordinary citizens secretly, in order to discover things or find out information about them. New rules will be needed to ensure agreement on what degree of monitoring is acceptable.

    The third question is about the effect of AI on competition in business. Today many firms are competing to provide AI-enhanced tools to companies. But a technology company that achieves artificial intelligence could race ahead of competitors, put others out of business and lessen competition. This is unlikely to happen in the near future, but if it did it would be of great concern.

    Technological change is everywhere and affects every aspect of life, mostly for the better. However, social changes brought about by new technology are often mistaken for a change in attitudes.

    An example at hand is the involvement of parents in the lives of their children who are attending college. Surveys (调查) on this topic suggests that parents today continue to be "very" or "somewhat" overly-protective even after their children move into college dormitories. The same surveys also indicate that the rate of parental involvement is greater today than it was a generation ago. This is usually interpreted as a sign that today's parents are trying to manage their children's lives past the point where this behavior is appropriate.

    However, greater parental involvement does not necessarily indicate that parents are failing to let go of their "adult" children.

    In the context (背景) of this discussion, it seems valuable to first find out the cause of change in the case of parents' involvement with their grown children. If parents of earlier generations had wanted to be in touch with their college-age children frequently, would this have been possible? Probably not. On the other hand, does the possibility of frequent communication today mean that the urge to do so wasn't present a generation ago? Many studies show that older parents - today's grandparents - would have called their children more often if the means and cost of doing so had not been a barrier.

    Furthermore, studies show that finances are the most frequent subject of communication between parents and their college children. The fact that college students are financially dependent on their parents is nothing new; nor are requests for more money to be sent from home. This phenomenon is neither good nor bad; it is a fact of college life, today and in the past.

    Thanks to the advanced technology, we live in an age of bettered communication. This has many implications well beyond the role that parents seem to play in the lives of their children who have left for college. But it is useful to bear in mind that all such changes come from the technology and not some imagined desire by parents to keep their children under their wings.