How often do you let other people like a bad driver, a rude waiter, or an angry boss, change your mood?

    Sixteen years ago I learned a lesson. I got in a taxi, and we took off for Grand Central Station. We were driving in the right lane when all of a sudden, a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver used his brakes, the tires made a loud noise, and at the very last moment our car stopped just 3cm from the back of the other car.

    I couldn't believe it. But then I couldn't believe what happened next. The driver of the other car, the guy who almost caused a big accident, turned his head around and he started shouting at us. I couldn't believe it!

    My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. So, I said, “Why did you just do that? This guy could have killed us!” And this is when my taxi driver told me what I now call, “The Law of the Garbage Truck”. He said, “Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of anger and disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they look for a place to dump it. And if you let them, they'll dump it on you.”

    So I started thinking how often I let Garbage Trucks run right over me and how often I take their garbage and spread it to other people.

    I began to see Garbage Trucks. I see the load people are carrying. I see them coming to dump it. And like my taxi driver, I don't take it personally. I just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on.

    I've loved my mother's desk since I was just tall enough to see above the top of it as Mother sat doing letters. Standing by her chair, looking at the ink bottle, pens, and white paper, I decided that the act of writing must be the most wonderful thing in the world.

    Years later, during her final illness, Mother kept different things for my sister and brother. “But the desk,” she said again, “is for Elizabeth.”

    I never saw her angry, never saw her cry, I knew she loved me; she showed it in action. But as a young girl, I wanted heart-to-heart talks between mother and daughter. It never happened. And a gulf opened between us. I was “too emotional”. But she lived “on the surface”. As years passed and I had my own family, I loved my mother and thanked her for our happy family. I wrote to her in careful words and asked her to let me know in any way if she chose that she did forgive me. I posted the letter and waited for her answer. None came. My hope turned to disappointment, then little interest and, finally, peace—it seemed that nothing happened. I couldn't be sure the letter had even got to Mother. I only knew that I had written it, and I could stop trying to make her into someone she was not.

    Now the present of her desk told me, as she'd never been able to, that she was pleased that writing was my chosen work. I cleaned the desk carefully and found some papers inside—a photo of my father and a one-page letter folded and refolded many times. She had given me an answer in a way she chose. Mother, you always chose the act that speaks louder than words.

    For the business traveler who is all about efficiency: Check out these hotels that will get you in and out with a minimum of trouble. When you are pressed for time on a business trip, nothing can infuriate you more than a slow hotel check-in process. On your next trip, try these hotels that offer a speedier check-in process.

⒈Yotel New York

    The self-service kiosks at this high-tech New York hotel work just like the ones you'd see at an airport. There are just five-steps to register and obtain your card key. There is even a robotic luggage bellboy. You tap in the number of bags you are carrying and sizes, then wait for a robot arm to swing down and store your luggage in a locker (say, for a day trip). This also speeds up the check-in process if the first thing you need to do, like me, is head to a series of meetings.

⒉Marriott Detroit Airport

    Another option for business travelers in a hurry: Marriott is rolling out its mobile check-in app to 325 hotels this year, including the Marriott Detroit Airport hotel. (I've tested the app itself but not for a real visit quite yet.) Here is the basic idea: you download the iphone or Android app. The night before, you can “check-in” virtually. When you arrive, you get an alert that the room is ready and your key, which is already tied to your reservation, is waiting for you at the desk.

⒊Hyatt Regency Minneapolis

    I happened to stay at this hotel recently and liked how fast the kiosk check-in works. Like the Yotel, the kiosk asks you to insert your credit card, similar to an airport terminal. The whole process took about three minutes, when I left, I was equally impressed with the fast check-out. An agent meets you in the lobby with an ipad and asks for an email to use for a receipt. The big advantage: you never have to wait in line.

⒋Radisson: LaCrosse

    The Radisson is trying to make the kiosk process even faster, at a few select hotels like the Radisson Lacrosse in Wisconsin, you use a mobile app to register and then receive a barcode by email or text. When you get to the kiosk, you scan the barcode to get your key without any other steps required. It's super fast. You can find this new check-in system at the Radisson hotels in Salt Lake City, Seattle, and Phoenix as well.

    You're out to dinner. The food is delicious and the service is fine. You decide to leave a big fat tip. Why? The answer may not be as simple as you think.

    Tipping, psychologists have found, is not just about service. Instead, studies have shown that tipping can be affected by psychological reactions to a series of different factors from the waiter's choice of words, to how they carry themselves while taking orders, to the bill's total. Even how much waiters remind customers of themselves can determine how much change they pocket by the end of the night.

    “Studies before have shown that mimicry(模仿) brings into positive feelings for the mimicker,” wrote Rick van Baaren, a social psychology professor. “These studies show that people who are being mimicked become more generous toward the person who mimics them.”

    So Rick van Baaren divided 59 waiters into two groups. He requested that half serve with a phrase such as. “ Coming up !” Those in the other hall were instructed to repeat the orders and preferences back to the customers. Rick van Baaren then compared their take-home pay. 'The results were clear—it pays to mimic your customer. The copycat(模仿者) waiters earned almost double the amount of tips to the other group.

    Leonard Green and Joel Myerson, psychologists at Washington University in St. Louis, found the generosity of a tipper maybe limited by his bill. After research on the 1,000 tips left for waiters, cabdrivers, hair stylists, they found tip percentages in these three areas dropped as customers' bills went up. In fact, tip percentages appear to plateau(稳定期) when bills topped $100 and a bill for $200 made the worker gain no bigger percentage tip than a bill for $100.

    “That's also a point of tipping,” Green says. “You have to give a little extra to the cabdriver for being there to pick you up and something to the waiter for being there to serve you. If they weren't there, you'd never get any service. So part of the idea of a tip is for just being there.”

    Little New Year (Chinese: Xiaonian), usually a week before the lunar New Year, falls on Feb 8 this year. It is also known as the Festival of the Kitchen God, the deity(神) who oversees the moral character of each household. Here are six things you should know about the Little New Year, another sign of the start of spring.

    ⒈Offer sacrifices to Kitchen God

    One of the most distinctive traditions of the Little New Year is the burning of a paper image of the Kitchen God, who will report on the family's conduct over the past year. The offerings to the Kitchen God include pig's head, fish, sweet bean paste, melons, fruit, boiled dumplings, barley sugar, and Guandong candy, a sticky treat made out of glutinous millet and sprouted wheat. Most of the offerings are sweets of various varieties. It is thought that this will seal the Kitchen God's mouth and encourage him to only say good things about the family when he ascends to heaven to make his report.

    ⒉House cleaning

    According to Chinese folk beliefs, during the last month of the year ghosts and deities must choose either to return to Heaven or to stay on Earth. It is believed that in order to ensure the ghosts and deities' timely departure people must thoroughly clean both their persons and their houses, down to every last drawer and cupboard.

    ⒊Eat Guandong candy

    Guandong candy, a sticky treat made out of glutinous millet and sprouted wheat, is a traditional snack that Chinese people eat on the Festival of the Kitchen God.

    ⒋Paste paper-cuts to windows

    In the Little New Year, old couplets and paper-cuts from the previous Spring Festival are taken down, and new window decorations, New Year's posters, and auspicious(吉利的) decorations are pasted up.

    ⒌Bath and hair-cut

    As the old Chinese saying goes, whether they're rich or poor, people often have a haircut before the Spring Festival. The activity of taking bath and haircut is often taken on the Little New Year.

    ⒍Preparations for Spring Festival

    People start to stock up necessary provisions for the Spring Festival since the Little New Year. Everything needed to make offerings to the ancestors, entertain guests, and feed the family over the long holiday must be purchased in advance.

    Family sizes are shrinking around the world. In many countries, families are having fewer than two children. Smaller families mean many children now grow up with fewer cousins. This is hard to imagine, as I come from a large extended family with 23 first cousins on one side and 25 on the other.

    Sometimes when I can't sleep, I try to name all my relatives. Of course, almost all of those cousins have married and had children and now their children are having children. With extended families growing so large and spreading so far, get-togethers have nearly become a thing of the past.

    One of the last gatherings on my father's side was at the home of a cousin who has a place in the country on top of a hill. A tent was set up, holding long tables creaking(嘎吱作响) under the weight of fried chicken, potato salad and chocolate cake. A fishing hole waited nearby for the kids. Vehicles poured in from every direction, parking on the drive, the grass, wherever they could find a spot. There was talking and laughing and joking and food.

    While such gatherings had grown infrequent, we were all happy to be together. Although some of us had not seen one another since so-and-so's wedding or somebody's father's funeral, most people were still easy to recognize. Three sisters who sat together all had the same beautiful skin their mother had. The cousin with bright blue eyes who raced her horse as a teenager still had bright blue eyes. An older cousin who gave me piano lessons when I was young and naughty seemed to have forgiven me. We share a gene pool of people who work hard and laugh often.

    It was very dark when the last set of taillights disappeared into the night. As we gathered our things, said our goodbyes and prepared to leave, a cousin called to me saying, "Don't forget where you come from." I never could. And I'd never try.