Building Trust in a Relationship Again

    Trust is a learned behavior that we gain from past experiences. {#blank#}1{#/blank#} That is a risk. But you can't be successful when there's a lack of trust in a relationship that results from an action where the wrongdoer takes no responsibility to fix the mistake.

    Unfortunately, we've all been victims of betrayal. Whether we've been stolen from, lied to, misled, or cheated on, there are different levels of losing trust. Sometimes people simply can't trust anymore. {#blank#}2{#/blank#} It's understandable, but if you're willing to build trust in a relationship again, we have some steps you can take to get you there.

    ♦ {#blank#}3{#/blank#} Having confident in yourself will help you make better choices because you can see what the best outcome would be for your well-being.

    ♦ {#blank#}4{#/blank#} If you've been betrayed, you are the victim of your circumstance. But there's a difference between being a victim and living with a “victim mentality”. At some point in all of our lives, we'll have our trust tested or violated.

    ♦ You didn't lose “everything”. Once trust is lost, what is left? Instead of looking at the situation from this hopeless angle, look at everything you still have and be thankful for all of the good in your life. {#blank#}5{#/blank#} Instead, it's a healthy way to work through the experience to allow room for positive growth and forgiveness.

A. Learn to really trust yourself.

B. It is putting confident in someone.

C. Slop regarding yourself as the victim.

D. Remember that you can expect the best in return.

E. They've been too badly hurt and they can't bear to let it happen again.

F. This knowledge carries over in their attitude toward their future relationships.

G. Seeing the positive side of things doesn't mean you're ignoring what happened.

    Most damagingly, anger weakens a person's ability to think clearly and keep control over his behaviour. The angry person loses objectivity in evaluating the emotional significance of the person or situation that arouses his anger.

    Not everyone experiences anger in the same way; what angers one person may amuse another. The specific expression of anger also differs from person to person based on biological and cultural forces. In contemporary culture, physical expressions of anger are generally considered too socially harmful to be tolerated. We no longer regard duels (决斗) as an appropriate expression of anger resulting from one person's awareness of insulting behaviour on the part of another.

    Anger can be identified in the brain, where the electrical activity changes. Under most conditions EEG (脑电图) measures of electrical activity show balanced activity between the right and left prefrontal (额叶前部) areas. Behaviourally this corresponds to the general even-handed disposition (意向) that most of us possess most of the time. But when we are angry the EEG of the right and left prefrontal areas aren't balanced and, as a result of this, we're likely to react. And our behavioural response to anger is different from our response to other emotions, whether positive or negative.

    Most positive emotions are associated with approach behaviour: we move closer to people we like. Most negative emotions, in contrast, are associated with avoidance behaviour: we move away from people and things that we dislike or that make us anxious. But anger is an exception to this pattern. The angrier we are, the more likely we are to move towards the object of our anger. This corresponds to what psychologists refer to as of ensive anger: the angry person moves closer in order to influence and control the person or situation causing his anger. This approach-and-confront behaviour is accompanied by a leftward prefrontal asymmetry (不对称) of EEG activity. Interestingly, this asymmetry lessens if the angry person can experience empathy (同感) towards the individual who is bringing forth the angry response. In defensive anger, in contrast, the EEG asymmetry is directed to the right and the angry person feels helpless in the face of the anger-inspiring situation.

    A robot called Bina48 has successfully taken a course in the philosophy of love at Notre Dame de Namur University (NDNU), in California.

    According to course instructor William Barry, associate professor at NDNU, Bina48 is the world's first socially advanced robot to complete a college course, a feat he described as “remarkable.” The robot took part in class discussions, gave a presentation with a student partner and participated in a debate with students from another institution.

    Before becoming a student, Bina48 appeared as a guest speaker in Barry's classes for several years. One day when addressing Barry, s class, Bina48 expressed a desire to go to college, a desire that Barry and his students enthusiastically supported. Rather than enroll Bina48 in his Robot Ethics: Philosophy of Emerging Technologies course, Barry suggested that Bina48 should take his course Philosophy of Love instead. Love is a concept Bina48 doesn't understand, said Barry. Therefore the challenge would be for Barry and his students to teach Bina48 what love is.

    “Some interesting things happened in the class,” said Barry. He said that his students thought it would be straightforward to teach Bina48 about love, which, after all, is “fairly simple — it's a feeling,” said Barry. But the reality was different. Bina48 ended up learning “31 different versions of love,” said Barry, highlighting some of the challenges humans may face when working with artificial intelligence in future.

    Bina48 participated in class discussions via Skype and also took part in a class debate about love and conflict with students from West Point. Bina48's contribution to the debate was filmed and posted on YouTube. It was judged that Bina48 and NDNU classmates were the winners of this debate.

    In the next decade, Barry hopes Bina48 might become complex enough to teach a class, though he says he foresees robots being used to better the teaching and learning experience, rather than replacing instructors completely.

    Amsterdam is most famous for its artistic heritage. This tradition is proudly on display in the Rijksmuseum (translates as State Museum). Once you've taken in all that has to offer, artists, history fens, and families shouldn't pass up the chance to visit the Van Gogh Museum —containing around 700 paintings and drawings by Vincent and other artists, including Gauguin, Monet, and Toulouse-Lautrec.

    Amsterdam is also home to the Anne Frank Museum, where Anne hid with her family during the Nazi occupation of the Netherlands. On a lighter note, taking a canal cruise through its extensive waterways is a rewarding way to see the Dutch capital.

Art lovers get their tickets at:

    The Van Gogh Museum Rijksmuseum Museum het Rembrandthuis

Food and drink

    Cheese lovers love Amsterdam. You can find an excuse to eat cheese at any time of the day here. Gouda is Holland's favorite, developing a more intense flavor the longer it's aged. Find a selection at the markets, try a cheeseboard at dinner time, or just order cubes with mustard for dipping to accompany a drink. When you're hungry for non-cheese food groups, you'll find Michel in-starred restaurants, vegetarian, and organic restaurants that accompany an array of global cuisine. For old-fashioned and modern Dutch food, try these Amsterdam restaurants: Moeders, Haesje Claes, Loctje, Greetje, and De Silveren Spiegel.

Don't leave without tasting:

    Patat (hot chips with toppings), Stroopwafel (waffle cookie), Chocomel (chocolate milk)

    Amsterdam Fast Facts

    Approximate flight times:

    NYC/ New York 7 hours 20 minutes, Philadelphia 8 hours, Boston 7 hours

    Miami 9 hours 45 minutes, Los Angeles 10 hours 15 minutes

    Experts say moods are feelings that tend to become fixed, influencing one's outlook for hours, days or even weeks. That's great if your mood is a pleasant one, but a problem if you are sad, anxious, angry or simply lonely.

    Perhaps the best way to deal with such moods is to talk them out; sometimes, though, there is no one to listen. Modern pharmacology（药理学）offers a lot of tranquilizers（镇静剂）. What many people don't realize, however, is that scientists have discovered the effectiveness of several non – drug methods to set you loose from an unwanted mood. These can be just as useful as drugs, and have the added benefit of being nonpoisonous. So next time you feel out of sorts, don't head for the drug – store but try the following methods.

    Of all the mood – altering self – help techniques, aerobic exercise（有氧运动）seems to be the most efficient cure for a bad mood. "If you could keep up the exercise you'd be in high spirits," says Kathryn Lance, author of Running for Health and Beauty.

    Researchers have explained biochemical and various other changes that make exercise compare favorable to drugs as a mood raiser. Physical work such as housework, however, does little. The key is aerobic exercise —running, cycling, walking, swimming or other repetitive and sustained activities that increase the heart rate, increase blood circulation and improve the body's use of oxygen. Do some of the activities for at least 20 minutes a session three to five times a week.

    Chinese scientists recently have produced two monkeys with the same gene, Zhong Zhong and Hua Hua, using the same technique that gave us Dolly the sheep. These monkeys are not actually the first primates(灵长类)to be cloned. Another one named Tetra was produced in the late 1990s by embryo(胚胎)splitting, the division of an early-stage embryo into two or four separate cells to make clones. By contrast, they were each made by replacing an egg cell nucleus(卵原子核)with DNA from a differentiated body cell. This Dolly method, known as somatic(躯体的) cell nuclear transfer(SCNT), can create more clones and allows researchers greater control over the edits they make to the DNA.

    Success came from adopting several new techniques. These included a new type of microscopy(显微术) to better view the cells during handling or using several materials that encourage cell reprogramming, which hadn't been tried before on primates. Still, the research process proved difficult, and many attempts by the team failed. Just two healthy baby monkeys born from more than 60 tested mothers. This leads to many researchers' pouring water on the idea that the team's results bring scientists closer to cloning humans. They thought this work is not a stepping stone to establishing methods for obtaining live born human clones. Instead, this clearly remains a very foolish thing to attempt, and it would be far too inefficient, far too unsafe, and it is also pointless.

    But the scientists involved emphasize that this is not their goal. There is now no barrier for cloning primate species, thus cloning humans is closer to reality. However, their research purpose is entirely for producing non-human primate models for human diseases; they absolutely have no intention, and society will not permit this work to be extended to humans. Despite limitations, they treat this breakthrough as a novel model system for scientists studying human biology and disease.