When asked about happiness, we usually think of something extraordinary, an absolute delight, which seems to get rarer the older we get.

    For kids, happiness has a magical quality. Their delight at winning a race or getting a new bike is unreserved (毫无掩饰的).

    In the teenage years the concept of happiness changes. Suddenly it's conditional on such things as excitement, love and popularity. I can still recall the excitement of being invited to dance with the most attractive boy at the school party.

    In adulthood the things that bring deep joy—love, marriage, birth—also bring responsibility and the risk of loss. For adults, happiness is complicated.

    My definition of happiness is “the capacity for enjoyment”. The more we can enjoy what we have, the happier we are. It's easy to overlook the pleasure we get from the company of friends, the freedom to live where we please, and even good health.

    I experienced my little moments of pleasure yesterday. First I was overjoyed when I shut the last lunch-box and had the house to myself. Then I spent an uninterrupted morning writing, which I love. When the kids and my husband came home, I enjoyed their noise after the quiet of the day.

    Psychologists tell us that to be happy we need a mix of enjoyable leisure time and satisfying work. I don't think that my grandmother, who raised 14 children, had much of either. She did have a network of close friends and family, and maybe this is what satisfied her.

    We, however, with so many choices and such pressure to succeed in every area, have turned happiness into one more thing we've got to have. We're so self-conscious about our “right” to it that it's making us miserable. So we chase it and equal it with wealth and success, without noticing that the people who have those things aren't necessarily happier.

    Happiness isn't about what happens to us—it's about how we see what happens to us. It's the skillful way of finding a positive for every negative. It's not wishing for what we don't have, but enjoying what we do possess.

    If you want to become a fluent English speaker you should take some advice: There are four skills in learning English. They are reading, listening, speaking, and writing. The most important thing you must remember is that if you want to improve your speaking and writing skills you should first master the skills of reading and listening.

    Read as much as you can. But your reading must be active. It means that you must think about the meaning of the sentence, the meaning of the unfamiliar words, etc. There is no need for you to pay much attention to grammars or try to understand all the unfamiliar words you come across ， but the fact that you see them for the first time and recognize them whenever you see them, for example, in other passages or books, is enough. It would be better to prepare yourself a notebook so you can write down the important words or sentences in it.

    As for listening, there are two choices: besides reading, you can listen every day for about 30 minutes. You can only pay attention to your reading and become skillful at your reading, then you can catch up on your listening. Since you have lots of inputs in your mind, you can easily guess what the speaker is going to say. This never means that you should not practice listening.

    For listening you can listen to cartoons or some movies that are specially made for children. Their languages are easy. Or if you are good at listening you can listen to VOA or BBC programs every day. Again the thing to remember is being active in listening and preferably taking some notes.

    If you follow these pieces of advice, your speaking and writing will improve automatically, and you can be sure that with a little effort they will become perfect.

    The most frightening words in the English language are, “Our computer is down.” You hear it more and more when you are on business. The other day I was at the airport waiting for a ticket to Washington and the girl in the ticket office said, “I'm sorry, I can't sell you a ticket. Our computer is down.”

    “If your computer is down, just write me out a ticket.”

    “I can't write you out a ticket. The computer is the only one allowed to do so.”

    I looked down on the computer and every passenger was just standing there drinking coffee and staring at the black screen. Then I asked her, “What do all your people do?”

    “We give the computer the information about your trip, and then it tells us whether you can fly with us or not.”

    “So when it goes down, you go down with it.”

    “That's good, sir.”

    “How long will the computer be down?” I wanted to know.

    “I have no idea. Sometimes it's down for 10 minutes, sometimes for two hours. There's no way we can find out without asking the computer, and since it's down it won't answer us.”

    After the girl told me they had no backup(备用) computer, I said. “Let's forget the computer. What about your planes? They're still flying, aren't they?”

    “I couldn't tell without asking the computer.”

    “Maybe I could just go to the gate and ask the pilot if he's flying to Washington, ” I suggested.

    “I wouldn't know what gate to send you to. Even if the pilot was going to Washington, he couldn't't take you if you didn't't have a ticket.”

    “Is there any other airline flying to Washington within the next few hours?”

    “I wouldn't know,” she said, pointing at the dark screen. “Only 'IT' knows. 'IT' can't tell me.

    By this time there were quite a few people standing in lines. The word soon spread to other travelers that the computer was down. Some people went white, some people started to cry and still others kicked their luggage.

    We arrived at the hospital to find Dad was very weak, but his smile was as sure as ever. It was another attack of pneumonia(肺炎). My husband and I stayed with him for the weekend but had to return to our jobs on Monday. Local relatives would help Dad get home from the hospital and look after him. But I longed to be able to let him know that we cared too, even when we weren't with him.

    Then I remember a family tradition when our children were small. When leaving their grandparents' home after a visit, each child would write a note to their grandparents. They hid notes in the cereal(麦片), under a hairbrush, next to the phone or even in the microwave oven. For days, their parents would smile as they discovered these signs of our love.

    So as I tidied Dad's kitchen and made up a bed for him downstairs in the living room, I wrote some notes. Some were practical, "Dad, I put the food in the fridge so it wouldn't spoil." Some expressed my love, "Dad I hope you will sleep well in your new bed." Most notes were downstairs where he would stay for several weeks until he recovered strength, but one note I hid upstairs under his pillow, "Dad, if you have found this one, you must be feeling better. We are so glad. "

    Just like his medicine strengthened him physically, these "emotional vitamins" would improve his spiritual health. Several weeks later, in one of our regular phone calls, I asked Dad how he was doing. He said, "Pretty good. I just found your note under my pillow upstairs!"

    It was a Saturday morning, a day I believed would end in victory. For weeks, I had been preparing for the match at the county fairgrounds, sponsored(赞助) by our local riding club. My horse, Tonka, and I could run faster than any kid in the county, and I hoped to bring home a blue ribbon.

    My mother usually drove me to the riding events, but on this day, my father planned to drop us off at the fairgrounds with the horse trailer(马车) .

    Although we never discussed it, my father's struggle with alcoholism had become the silent center of our family life. My mother was paralyzed with fear and indecision. Her salary as a part-time nurse couldn't possibly support four children. No one talked about alcoholism in those days, and it was my family secret.

    We climbed on the trailer and my father pulled out of our driveway and headed toward the fairgrounds, picking up speed once we hit the main road. It wasn't until we felt a big bump that I realized the trailer was out of control. The dream of my riding winner disappeared. Tonka lay on the floor, completely still. No words were possible. I knew he was dead.

    Suddenly a man appeared. "Are you all right?" he asked. "Yes." I answered, although I knew that nothing was all right. "Sit here on the grass," he said. He bent down to look into the trailer. Tonka remained still. He touched Tonka and then turned to face me. "He is going to be OK. He has just been knocked unconscious." He rubbed Tonka's cheeks and gently pulling his ears. Tonka rose to his feet.

    Our father was talking to a police officer. He was upset and in pain and took little notice of me. I looked back; the man was gone.

    I never forgot him. He gave me strength and a sense of hope in a dark and frightening moment.

    Feeding birds is a popular way to watch wildlife. But experts say it might put wild birds at risk.

    Feeding birds is not necessary for their survival except in extreme weather conditions. Feeders(喂食器)can definitely help birds get through that kind of weather. But most birds eat insects and show little interest in bird feeders. For those birds, we can grow native plants in a natural environment. Birds which are fond of eating seeds will be more likely to come to feeders if there is some cover nearby. This lets them feed and then fly to protective areas, such as in trees.

    The most common mistake people make with their bird feeders is that they put feeders in places where birds are easily frightened by passers-by, risk being hurt by cats, or risk flying into windows.

    So set up a bird feeder at least one meter away from a window. That way, if a bird gets frightened, it won't get killed when it hits the glass. Owners of cats should keep them inside home so they can't hurt the birds.

    Some birds are more aggressive at feeders. They eat a lot and do not leave much food for other birds. A solution is to put the food in more than one place by using different kinds of seeds or fruits. This can also increase the number and diversity of birds in your neighborhood. But don't feed wild birds anything salty, like potato chips, or food that could choke them, like bread.

    Pay attention to food quality and freshness. Unprotected food left too long in feeders will turn moldy(发霉), which can kill wildlife.

    Another word of advice: Always provide a supply of clean water for birds, but use care when looking for the right birdbath. If the birdbaths are too deep for birds, putting a few large stones in the water can give the birds a place to sit.