B

      Mark Twain was a great writer in America. He wrote many books. He liked telling jokes in his books. People liked reading them very much. And it was full of jokes in his life, too. Mark Twain liked reading. So he often borrowed books from other people. One day, he wanted to borrow a book from his neighbor. His neighbor was a mean man. He didn't want to lend it to Mark Twain. Then he had an idea. He said to Mark Twain, “I have a rule. You will have to read the book at my home. If you want to borrow it from me, you should never take it out." Mark Twain had to read that book at his neighbor's house.

     A month later, his neighbor went to borrow a cropper (割草机) from Mark Twain. Mark Twain said to him with a smile, "I make a rule, too. That is, you must use my cropper in my garden. If you borrow it, you can never take it out either."

    A driver stops his car in front of a shop and he wants to have a rest. Just when he closes his eyes, a man comes up and knocks at his window to ask the time. The driver opens his eyes and looks at his watch. "It's eight o' clock." He says. Then he closes his eyes again. But a second man is knocking at the window now. "Sir, do you have the time?" he asks. The driver looks at his watch again and tells the man it's half past eight.

    Just like this he can't have a good rest. So he writes some words on a piece of paper and puts it on the window for all to see. It says, "I don't know the time."

    Again the driver closes his eyes and he thinks he can have a good rest now. A few minutes later, a third man comes up and begins to knock at the window. "Hey sir, "he says, "It's a quarter to nine."

    "This one's for you," Sergeat(警官)Barstow shouted and left quickly through the back door. I was a little puzzled. I looked out of a window of the Ashfordly Police Station and saw an elderly woman come into the building.

    "Good morning, Madam," I said.

    "Good morning," she said pleasantly." You're new, aren't you?"

    "Yes, Madam."

    "It's about that man who's been annoying me," she said." I've been here about him before."

    "Could I have your name and address, please?"

    "Miss Fraser. Josephine Fraser. I live at 43 Prince Terrace. Now, can you please do something about Jackson?"

    "What's he done, Miss Fraser?"

    "Done? He's thrown garbage all over my stairs again. He must be stopped."

    "Where does he live?"

    "Next door, Number 41," she said.

    "I'll go and see later and warn him off, Miss Fraser."

    "I would be most grateful."  With that she left.

    Half an hour later, I reached Prince Terrace. No. 41 was in a bad state of repair. I knocked. No reply. I entered. The place was deserted. I wondered if the Jackson was a tramp(流浪者). Anyway, it seemed he had left, possibly because of Miss Fraser's threatening police action. I decided to visit her.

    I knocked on her door and it was opened almost immediately." Ah!" she said gladly." You're just in time for coffee." I followed her inside. Miss Fraser told me more about her battle with Jackson. But when I asked specific questions, it clearly showed that she had never seen Jackson. Finally, I managed to leave.

    Sergeant Barstow smiled kindly as I returned." Nick, did you kick(踢出) Jackson, out of that house?"

    "Jackson" I cried." Who is he?"

    "There is no Jackson," he said." Miss Fraser is lonely and she likes company. We always let the new young men deal with Miss Fraser. It gives her deep satisfaction. That's what we are here for, isn't it to satisfy the public?"

    Once upon a time, a young man wanted to go to a village on business. Halfway there was a mountain. Before he left home, his family warned him to stay calm and climb onto trees if he was in face of beasts(凶猛的野兽). In this way, the beasts couldn't do anything to him.

    The young man remembered these words and began his trip He walked for a long time carefully and found no beasts were out there. He thought his family's worries were unnecessary. And he became relaxed as he walked. Just at that moment, he saw a fierce(凶猛的) tiger running to him and he climbed onto a tree nearby at once.

    The tiger roared(咆哮) around the tree and even jumped to reach the man. The young man was too scared to hold the tree and fell right on the back of the tiger. Full of fear, he had to hold the tiger tightly. The tiger thought that must be a giant beast. So it was afraid and started running madly.

    People on the road didn't know what happened and said, "Look at the young man. He is riding a tiger." "Cool!" "Superman!"

    Hearing these words, the young man was very angry. "Why can't they see I'm suffering a lot? Don't they understand I am in fear and almost scared to death? He said to himself.

    Mr. Brown got up late this morning. He was going to be late for work. It was raining hard and the streets were wet. He drove so fast that he didn't see the red lights. He couldn't stop his car and hit a car. An old man got out of the car and called out angrily, "What are you doing? How can you drive so fast?"

    "I'm sorry, sir," said Mr. Brown, "l didn't see the lights turn red." "Then he brought out a bottle of wine (酒)and gave it to the old man.

    It's cold today, sir," said Mr. Brown. "Please drink a little, and then you'll get warm."

    The old man drank some wine and became happy. He asked, "I'm feeling much better now. Why don't you drink any?"

     "I can't drink anything now, sir," answered Mr. Brown" I'm waiting for the policeman. Only drunkards(酒鬼)cause accidents, you know!"