There is a growing number of kidults—or adults who wear themask of maturity but prefer to pander(迎合) to their inner child.

    They feel ill equipped for parenthood, because they don't see what values or lessons they could honestly pass on to their young, besides self-centeredness and a passion for the good things in life. They are trying to live by not acting their age.

    As Ms Jane put it in her letter: I'm married, in my late 20s and enjoy a lifestyle other married graduate couples enjoy: winning and dining, tasteful clothes, travel and a career. Why give up all these for a baby?

    It is reported that when asked whether they were adults, most people in their 20s answered they were not sure. This reflected a global economy in which people chased more papers to get better jobs that would comfortably support middle class living.

    Being a kidult is not all about being selfish, though. With the untold uncertainties of war, fluctuating(波动) markets, disease and terrorism, many see this world as a poor place to live in—let alone bring kids up in. This seems especially so in urban living. All anyone wants after a long, hard day at work is some peace and quiet.

    My classmate, Jenny, mused(沉思) recently howour friends living in small Malaysian towns were onto their second or third kids. Maybe they just loved having children around. Or maybe, in their own way, they wanted to leave the world a better place than they found it.

    That's how you, I and everyone know we have the chance tobreathe air, touch grass and see sky. I think out parents understand that just being alive is an experience worth passing on.

    China's Singles Day, which falls on Nov. 11 every year, has far surpassed its U. S. counterparts of Black Friday and Cyber Monday—combined Last year, Americans spent a record $ 12.8 billion online between Thanksgiving Day and Cyber Monday. It's impressive until you compare it to the $ 17.6 billion in sales made by Chinese consumers in a single 24-hour period during 2016's Singles Day.

    Singles Day is known as “Bare Sticks Day” or “Bare Branches Day” in Chinese-because the date “11/11” looks like bare branches and “one” is the loneliest number. Singles Day began in the early 1990s in the dorm rooms of Nanjing University when a group of single friends were sorry about the lack of significant others and decided to mark the day by organizing activities as a group of singles and reducing their loneliness by buying themselves a gift.

    Then in 2009, sensing a break between the sales period of China's National Day on Oct. 1 and Chinese New Year in late January or early February, Alibaba's Jack Ma saw an opening: sell to comfort lonely hearts.

    The first year did only $7.5 million in sales, but just 8 years later, shoppers spent $ 25.3 billion, or 168.2 billion yuan, this year—a 40 percent jump from last year's $ 17.6 billion. For comparison, Black Friday and Cyber Monday in the U. S. only netted $ 6.79 billion in 2016. Amazon doesn't release sales figures for July's Prime Day, but it's pretty safe to believe the not-quite-national-holiday doesn't come close to $ 25 billion.

    “More than $ 25 billion in one day is not just a sales figure,” Alibaba Group CEO Daniel Zhang said in a statement. “It represents the desire for quality consumption of the Chinese consumer, and it reflects how merchants and consumers alike have now fully accepted the combination of online and offline sales.”

    My dad was in the Air Force. When I was a kid, we moved every few years. That meant a lot of good-byes. It also meant getting used to a whole new community and a whole new school each time we moved. I can still feel what it was like to have to walk into the new school—that sinking feeling in my belly, that heaviness in my throat. It would always take time for me to learn how everything worked, what was cool and what was not. It was always a struggle to find where I could fit in.

    Already shy, I didn't have much self-confidence in my friend-making abilities. I was the girl walking in the halls with her head down, panicking. When I spoke, you could hardly hear my soft voice. I was nervous and doubted myself a lot.

    It was very hard not having a history with everyone else. I was an outsider. But what I did have was soccer. Wherever I went, I knew that I could fit in with the soccer ball. The soccer team meant a familiar place and immediate friends for me. I could express myself and feel good about myself on the field. Playing hard helped to get rid of all my nervousness.

    Throughout our lives, our self-respect goes down when we feel like a failure, and it goes up when we feel successful. Doing something well, being praised, and feeling loved goes a long way. We all need to explore opportunities where we can be good at something and feel good about ourselves. Physical activity and sport participation is a terrific way to build up our sense of self-confidence and self-worth.

    On one of her trips to New York several years ago, Eudora Welty decided to take a couple of New York friends out to dinner. They settled in at a comfortable East Side cafe and within minutes, another customer was approaching their table.

    "Hey, aren't you from Mississippi?" the elegant, white-haired writer remembered being asked by a stranger. "I'm from Mississippi too."

    Without a second thought, the woman joined the Welty's table. When her dinner partner showed up, she also pulled up a chair.

    "They began telling me all the news of Mississippi," Welty said. "I didn't know what my New York friends were thinking."

    Taxis on a rainy New York night are rarer than sunshine. By the time the group got up to leave, it was pouring outside. Welty's new friends immediately sent a waiter to find a cab. Heading back downtown toward her hotel, her big-city friends were amazed at the turn of events that had changed their Big Apple dinner into a Mississippi.

    "My friends said: ‘Now we believe your stories,'" Welty added. "And I said: ‘Now you know. These are the people that make me write them.

    Beauticians, bartenders, piano players and people with purple hats, Welty's people come from afternoons spent visiting with old friends, from walks through the streets beside her house, from conversations overheard on a bus.

    It annoys Welty that, at 78, her left ear has now given out. However, she continues to walk into life and notes the vivid life. Sometimes, sitting on a bus or a train, she hears only a fragment(片段) of a particularly interesting story, yet she quickly takes out a notebook and write something fantastic under her point of pen.

    Going to university is supposed to be a mind-broadening experience. That statement is probably made in comparison to training for work straight after school. But is it actually true? Jessika Golle of the University of Tubingen, in Germany reports in Psychological Science this week that those who have been to university indeed seem to leave with broader and more curious minds than those who have spent their immediate post-school years in vocational (职业的) training for work. However, it was not the case that university broadened minds. Rather, vocational training for work seemed to have narrowed them. The result is not quite what might be expected.

    Dr. Golle came to this conclusion after she and a team of colleagues studied the early careers of 2,095 German youngsters. The team used two standardized tests to assess their volunteers' personality traits (特点) including openness, conscientiousness (认真) and so on, and attitudes such as realistic, investigative and enterprising twice, once towards the end of each volunteer's time at high school, and then again six years later. Of the original group, 382 had to make a choice between the academic and vocational routes, and it was on these that the researchers focused. University beckoned for 212 of them. The remaining 170 chose vocational training and a job.

    When it came to the second round of tests, Dr. Golle found that the personalities of both groups had not changed significantly. As for changes in altitude, again, none were noticeable in the university group. However, those who had chosen the vocational route showed marked drops in interest in tasks that are investigative and enterprising in nature. And that might restrict their choice of careers.

    The changes in attitude that the researchers recorded were more worrying. Vocational training has always been what Germany prides itself on. If Dr Golle is correct, and changes in attitude brought about by the very training are narrowing people's choices that is indeed a matter worthy of serious consideration.

    A story posted by The New York Post Monday tells the tale of Katrina Holte, a Hillsboro woman who quit her job to cosplay a 1950s housewife.

    Let me start by expressing admiration to Holte for using her 2019 freedoms to follow her 1950s dreams. Everyone should be so lucky as to get to decide what they wear and how they spend their time. That's the future our foremothers fought for.

    But as much fun as I am sure she is having living a vintage (复古的) life, which literally includes watching shows like "I Love Lucy" and listening to vinyl recordings (刻录碟片), I think it's important to remember that being a 1950s housewife was actually totally awful, and something our grandmothers and mothers fought against.

    For example, once I called my grandma and asked her for her recipe for Cloud Biscuits, these delicious biscuits she used to make that we would cover with butter and homemade raspberry jam on Thanksgiving.

    "Why would you want that?" she said. "Go to the store. Go to the freezer section. Buy some pre-made biscuits and put them in the oven."

    She straight-up refused to give me the recipe, because it was hard and took a long time to make. In her mind, it was a waste of time.

    Getting off the phone, it occurred to me that spending every day of your life serving a husband and five children wasn't fun at all. And then there are the grandchildren who eventually come along demanding Cloud Biscuits, a whole new expanded set of people to feed.

    She was basically a slave to those hungry mouths, cooking scratch meals three times a day.

    When she wasn't trapped in the kitchen, she had to keep the house clean, make sure she looked good enough to be socially acceptable, and make sure her kids and husband looked good enough to be socially acceptable. And she had no days off.

    I know my grandma loves her kids and her grandkids, her husband and the life she led, but man, it must have been a lot of thankless, mindless labor.

    No wonder everyone went all-in on processed foods when they came around. Imagine the nice break something like a microwave dinner would give a woman working, unpaid, for her family every single day?

    I also had another grandma. She was a scholar who helped found the Center for the Study of Women in Society at University of Oregon. She was a pioneering second-wave feminist who wrote books, gave lectures and traveled the world.

    But, she did all of that after divorcing my grandpa, when most of her kids were out of the house. Back then, in the 1950s and the 1960s, there was no illusion about women "having it all". How could that even possibly happen? If you were taking care of a family, waiting on your husband, you had no time to follow your dreams, unless you made that your dream.

    A lot of women took that approach. We call it Stockholm Syndrome now.

    And of course, these women I am talking about are upper-middle-class white women. Romanticizing the 1950s is especially disgusting when you think about how women of color and poor women were treated back then, and the lack of education and choices available to them.

    Because the women in this country demanded something approaching equality, Holte has the chance to live out her fantasy. Not every woman in America is so lucky.

    We still don't have pay equality and in many states, we still don't have autonomy over our own bodies. Poor women and women of color still lack the opportunities of their wealthy and white peers.

    And while it's getting better, women are still expected to be responsible for the emotional labor of running a household and raising the children.

    But at least we can get jobs. At least we don't have to sew our own clothes, wear a full face of makeup every day and spend hours making Cloud Biscuits some ungrateful kid will wolf down, barely remembering to say thank you.