About 70 scientists were working on a very busy project. All of them felt really desperate due to the pressure of work and the demands of their boss but everyone was loyal to him and did not think of quitting their job.

    One day, one scientist came to his boss and told him, “Sir, I've promised to take my children to the exhibition going on in our township so I want to leave at 5:30 p. m.” His boss replied, “OK. You're permitted to leave the office early today.”

    The scientist started working. He continued his work after lunch. As usual, he got involved to such an extent that he looked at his watch only when he felt he was close to completion. The time was 8:30 p. m. suddenly he remembered his promise to the children. He looked for his boss but he was not there. Having told him in the morning himself, he closed everything and left for home. Deep within himself, he was feeling guilty for having disappointed his children. He reached home. The children were not there. His wife alone was sitting in the hall and reading magazines. The situation was explosive; any talk would boomerang on him. His wife asked him, “Would you like to have coffee or shall I straight away serve dinner if you are hungry?” The man replied, “If you would like to have coffee, I too will have but what about the children?” His wife replied, “You don't know? Your boss came here at 5:15 p. m. and has taken them to the exhibition.”

    What had really happened was the boss who gave him permission was observing him working seriously at 5:00 p. m. He thought to himself: this person will not leave the work, but he's promised to take his children to the exhibition. So he took the lead in taking them there. The boss does not have to do it every time. But once it's done, loyalty is established.

    That is why all the scientists at Thumba continued to work under their boss even though the stress was extraordinarily huge. By the way, can you boldly guess who the boss was? He was none other than the mastermind behind India's successful nuclear weapons program, Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam, former president of India.

    It's generally believed that people act the way they do because of their personalities and attitudes.They recycle their garbage because they care about the environment.They pay $5 for a caramel brulee latte because they like expensive coffee drinks.

    It's undeniable that behavior comes from our inner dispositions（性情）,but in many instances we also draw inferences about who we are,as suggested by the social psychologist Daryl Bern,by observing our own behavior.We can be strangers to ourselves.If we knew our own minds,why would we need to guess what our preferences are from our behavior?If our minds were an open book,we would know exactly how much we care about the environment or like lattes.Actually,we often need to look to our behavior to figure out who we are.

    Moreover,we don't just use our behavior to learn about our particular types of character—we infer characters that weren't there before.Our behavior is often shaped by little pressures around us,which we fail to recognize.Maybe we recycle because our wives and neighbors would disapprove if we didn't.Maybe we buy lattes in order to impress the people around us.We should not mistakenly believe that we always behave as a result of some inner disposition.

    Whatever pressures there can be or inferences one can make,people become what they do,though it may not be in compliance（符合）with their true desires.Therefore,we should all bear in mind Kurt Vonnegut's advice:"We are what we pretend to be,so we must be careful about what we pretend to be."

    One Sunday, my son asked me if he could ride up to his elementary school on his bike and meet his friend. He wanted both of them to ride back to our house so they could play video games and jump on the trampoline (蹦床). I have to admit, part of me wanted to say no. We could go to pick him up or his parents could bring him over here. I thought. But my son is eleven years old now. And after all, I do let him ride his bike to school. But I also drive my daughter to school and I can see him on the way, making sure he is getting there safely.

    My husband thinks I am overprotective. I don't dare to let my children walk anywhere without one of us going along. As you go out of our neighborhood, there is a shopping center across the street. My son always asks if he can ride his bike or walk over to the drugstore by himself. But crossing that street is just too dangerous. The cars fly around the comer like they're driving in a car race. What if he gets hurt? What if some teenager bullies are hanging out in the parking lot? I want so much to give my children the freedom that I enjoyed having when I was growing up but I hesitate to do so, because there are dangers around every comer. Too many kidnap, too many robberies and so on.

    I honestly don't think my mom worried about such things when her children were young. Growing lip in the 1970s was indeed very different. I never wore a helmet (头盔) when I rode a bike. We were all over the neighborhood, on our bikes and on foot, coming home for dinner and then-back out again until dark. We rode in the back of the truck and didn't wear seat belts. I walked to and from school every day.

    One of my neighbors used to have a beautiful tree in her front yard. Her dad had planted it for her when it was nothing more than a twig(树枝) and several years later it started to shoot towards the sky with amazing speed. Soon it blessed her with cooling shade in the summer and glorious, golden leaves in the fall.

    When the two-day snowstorm struck our town, heavy snow fell on the tree's branches that were still full of leaves. The weight split that lovely tree down the middle. It was so sad seeing half of it laying on the ground after the storm. When I talked to my neighbor later, she said that the damage had been too much and that the entire tree would have to be cut down. Thankfully she had saved a few saplings(树苗) from it that she hoped to replant in the future.

    Still, it was a shock to drive by her house the other day and see nothing but a stump in her front yard. I missed that tree. I missed its beauty, its leaves shinning in the afternoon sun. I missed seeing its limbs reach towards the heavens. I thought that the stump would be a sad reminder of its loss for a long time to come. My wonderful neighbor, though, had another plan. When I drove by her home today I saw a tiny bird feeder sitting on that stump and a colorful songbird having its dinner. It was such an affirmation of life. It was such a joy to see. I could feel my heart smile.

    Life by its very nature is a mixed bag. It hands us beauty and tragedy, love and loss, pleasure and pain. What we do with it, however, is up to us. We can let it split us in two, or we can use even its hardest times to make our souls stronger and our hearts more loving. We can spend it complaining or we can use it to help others.

    Deisha walked up and down as she waited backstage. This would be her most important piano performance yet. At ten years old, she was the youngest performer in the recital (音乐演奏会). She had practiced playing her song more than 30 times that week. When she closed her eyes at night the music played over and over again in her head.

    Now that the day had arrived. Deisha was not sure she was ready. She smoothed her hair and picked a piece of lint (绒毛) from the new dress that her mother had bought for her. She noticed that her hands were shaking. How could she play the notes of the song if her hands were shaking? She tried to concentrate on steadying (稳住) them, but they play only shook more.

    Deisha's piano teacher, Ms Neal, walked up to speak to her. "I have something for you." she said, putting a smooth black stone into Deisha's hand. "It's a special stone. There's no other one like it in the world. You've practiced so much: you don't need anything else."

    The stage lights reflected off the rock. "Thank you," Deisha said.

    When Deisha's name was called, she rubbed the stone, stepped onto the stage, and played better than ever.

    After her performance, she noticed that Ms Neal had a whole bag of black stones. "Why did you say this one was so special?" she asked. The teacher responded, "Because, like your talent, it belongs only to you."

    As Simon Kindleysides, 34, took his first step in the London Marathon in April, he felt as if magic was in the air.

    "As we were walking toward the first mile, we actually started joining all the runners," he said. "Everyone was on the streets, cheering, and that was a magical moment." As time went on, the crowds and other racers spread around. Kindleysides and his team of eight supporters continued walking.

    Kindleysides, who is paralyzed(瘫痪的)from the waist down and typically uses a wheelchair, was equipped with an exoskeleton(体外骨骼)to help him walk. His supporters walked with him to change the batteries in his exoskeleton so he could keep moving.

    In 2013, Kindleysides was diagnosed with a brain tumor (肿瘤) that was growing in a way that pressed on certain nerves, leading to him losing feeling in his legs. He was told he would never walk again. Before his paralysis, the London­based singer and dancer had "always wanted to run a marathon," he said, but he never made the plan to do so­­until this year.

    During the London Marathon, the last two miles were the hardest. "At that point, I was exhausted. It was freezing cold, and I was hurting emotionally," Kindleysides said. But he kept going. "I didn't want to let people down. I had a team of eight, and I was raising money for The Brain Tumour Charity," he said. "I didn't want to let them down, myself down, and I thought if I would get this far, I would have to continue."So he continued and made history as the first paralyzed man to complete the London Marathon on foot.

    Then, recovering at home, he shared his accomplishment with his three children. "They used to say I'm the only dad in their whole school who's in a wheelchair, and now they say I'm their dad, the only one who has walked a marathon," he said.

    Kindleysides is training to complete three more marathons next year, including the London Marathon again.