A mother's love

    I'm a New York City firefighter. Every day, I see terror— sometimes even death. But the day I found Scarlett was different. That day I saw life. And love.

    We were responding to a call about a burning garage. Outside, I heard the sound of cats crying. I couldn't stop — I would have to look for the cats after the fire was put out.

    It took a long time to finally bring the big fire under control, but we did it. No one inside was hurt.

    At that point I was free to investigate the cat noises. There was still a lot of smoke and heat coming from the building. I followed the meowing(猫叫) to a spot on the sidewalk near the front of the garage. There, crying and huddled(挤作一团) together, were five terrified kittens. They must have been inside the building, as their fur was badly singed(烫烧).

    I left the five kittens in a box on a neighbor's porch(门廊).

    I wanted to find the mother. It was obvious that she had gone into the burning garage and carried out all of her babies, one by one —unbelievable.

    We finally found her. She was badly burnt: her eyes were blistered (起水泡), her paws(爪子) were blackened, and her fur was singed all over. You could even see her reddened skin beneath the burned fur. She could barely move. I picked her up, and she relaxed in my arms as much as her pain would allow. Sensing her trust, I shed a tear. I was determined to save this brave little cat and her family.

    The vet told me they would observe the kittens and their mother overnight, but they weren't optimistic about the mother's changes.

    About a week later, I found out she was going to live. One of the technicians suggested we name her Scarlett, because of her reddened skin.

    Knowing what Scarlett endured(忍受) for her kittens, it melted my heart to see her reunited with them. She touched each of them again, nose to nose, to make sure they were all safe. She had risked her life five separate times — and it had paid off. All of her babies had survived.

    As a firefighter, I see heroism(英雄事迹) every day. But what Scarlett showed me that day was the kind of bravery that can only come from a mother's love.

    Five or six years ago, I attended a lecture on the science of attention. A professor who conducts research over in the medical school was talking about attention blindness, the basic feature of the human brain that, when we concentrate on one task, causes us to miss just about everything else. Because we can't see what we can't see, our lecturer was determined to catch us in the act. He had us watch a video of six people tossing (投掷) basketballs back and forth, three in white shirts and three in black, and our task was to keep track only of the tosses among the people in white. The tape rolled, and everyone began counting.

    Everyone except me. I'm dyslexic (患阅读困难症的), and the moment I saw that tape with the confusing basketball tossers, I knew I wouldn't be able to keep track of their movements, so I let my mind wander. I became curious, though, when about 30 seconds into the tape, a gorilla (大猩猩) walked in among the players. She (we later learned a female student was in the gorilla suit) stared at the camera, beat her chest with her fist, and then went away while they continued passing the balls.

    When the tape stopped, the professor asked how many people had counted at least a dozen basketball tosses. Hands went up all over. He then asked who had counted 13, 14, and congratulated those who'd scored the perfect 15. Then he asked, “And who saw the gorilla?”

    I raised my hand and was surprised to discover I was the only person at my table and one of only three or four in the large room to do so. He'd set us up, trapping us in our own attention blindness. Yes, there had been a trick, but he wasn't the one who had played it on us. By concentrating so hard on counting, we had managed to miss the gorilla in the midst.

    Attention blindness is the fundamental organizing principle of the brain, and I believe that it presents us with a great opportunity. My take is different from that of many neuroscientists: Where they see the shortcomings of the individual, I sense an opportunity for cooperation. Fortunately, given the interactive (互动的) nature of most of our lives in the digital age, we have the tools to control our different forms of attention and take advantage of them.

    It's not easy to admit that everything we've learned about how to pay attention means that we've been missing everything else. It's not easy for us logical, intelligent, confident types to admit that the very key to our success — our ability to discover a problem and solve it, an achievement obtained in all those years in school and beyond — may be exactly what limits us. No one ever told us that our way of seeing left out everything else.

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    That children are the hopes of our tomorrow is statement that is repeated time and again. And it is an axiom(格言); they are our pillars of the coming time. But then do we train them into becoming healthy human beings?

    Healthy human beings here are not meant the physical well being, but the good human being, that is, one with virtues and values keeps them in the state of working towards the benefit of humanity.

    How can children absorb within themselves the virtues and values? Well, this is the primary responsibility of parents and other immediate family members, followed by school authorities. The values and virtues of an individual is sown in their childhood and as they grow up.

    Depending on the way we bring up our children, we decide our own future. It is vital that in the formative years we give them quality time and attention. We teach them to discriminate between the good, bad and the ugly. We have to teach them use positive emotive like love and compassion and teach them actions of kindness and generosity. At the same time we have to help them do away with the negatives of hatred, anger, jealousy, selfishness, etc.

    Your child is like a plant. You sow the seeds and also reap the benefits of its growth and development. First and foremost you as a parent have to realize your responsibility in nurturing a child to grow into a good human being. And it is just not up to anyone of the parents, but both together to inculcate(谆谆教诲)the values and virtues into your child.

C

    You may have heard the term self-awareness, but what is it and why does it matter?

    Being self-aware can influence how you feel in your job and in your personal life. Daniel Goleman takes that connection much further, saying self-awareness is the key to success. He describes self-awareness as “knowing one's internal（内在的）states ,preference and resources”, and then monitoring that “inner world” information as it comes up. If you can be as aware of your feelings and thoughts, you'll be better able to deal with new situations. Because you know yourself better, you'll be more accepting of yourself, your thoughts and your feelings, Goleman says.

    But self-awareness doesn't stop at how you see yourself. It's also understanding and acknowledging how others see you. Tasha Eurich, an organizational psychologist, explains that self-awareness has two parts — internal and external（外部的）. Internal self-awareness means we can clearly see our own values, thoughts, passions and feelings. External self-awareness is clearly seeing how others see us. People who are externally self-aware tend to be better leaders.

    So how do you know if you're self-aware or not? Eurich developed a short online quiz to help. You're not the only one who has to take it. Someone who knows you well also has to answer questions about you.

    In a recent TED Talk, Eurich refers to self-awareness unicorns. This group makes up only a small part of all the people she has studied. These are people who not only believe they are self-aware, but other people who know them would agree. Additionally, these unicorns would say they have improved their self-awareness in their lives and again, those who know them well would agree.

    Thankfully, anyone can become more self-aware, as long as they're willing to devote some time and effort to the cause.

    Arriving in Sydney on his own from India, my husband, Rashid, stayed in a hotel for a short time while looking for a house for me and our children.

    During the first week of his stay, he went out one day to do some shopping. He came back in the late afternoon to discover that his suitcase was gone. He was extremely worried as the suitcase had all his important papers, including his passport.

    He reported the case to the police and then sat there, lost and lonely in strange city, thinking of the terrible troubles of getting all the paperwork organized again from a distant country while trying to settle down in a new one.

    Late in the evening, the phone rang. It was a stranger. He was trying to pronounce my husband's name and was asking him a lot of questions. Then he said they had found a pile of papers in their trash can(垃圾桶)that had been left out on the footpath.

    My husband rushed to their home to find a kind family holding all his papers and documents. Their young daughter had gone to the trash can and found a pile of unfamiliar papers. Her parents had carefully sorted them out, although they had found mainly foreign addresses on most of the documents. At last they had seen a half-written letter in the pile in which my husband had given his new telephone number to a friend.

    That family not only restored the important documents to us that day but also restored our faith and trust in people. We still remember their kindness and often send a warm wish their way.