It is not only praise or punishment that determines a child's level of confidence. There are some other important ways we shape our kids—particularly by giving instructions and commands in a negative or positive choice of words. For example, we can say to a child “Don't run into traffic!” or “Stay on the footpath close to me.” In using the latter, you will be helping your kids to think and act positively, and to feel competent in a wide range of situations, because they know what to do, and aren't scaring themselves about what not to do.

    Why does such a small thing make a difference? It is all in the way the human mind works. What we think, we automatically rehearse. For example, if someone offered you a million dollars not to think of a blue monkey for two minutes, you wouldn't be able to do it. When a child is told “Don't fall off the tree,” he will think of two things: “don't” and “fall off the tree”. That is, he will automatically create the picture of falling off the tree in his mind. A child who is vividly imagining falling off the tree is much more likely to fall off. So it is far better to use “Hold on to the tree carefully.”

    Clear, positive instructions help kids to understand the right way to do things. Kids do not always know how to be safe, or how to react to the warning of the danger in negative words. So parents should make their commands positive. “Sam, hold on firm to the side of the boat” is much more useful than “Don't you dare to fall out of the boat?” or worse still “How do you think I'll feel if you drown?” The changes are small but difference is obvious.

    Children learn how to guide and organize themselves from the way we guide them with our words, so it pays to be positive.

    Have you ever felt like you are not given the kind of respect you deserve? In one way or another, all of us have felt this way. We've yearned（渴望）to be looked at as an authority, someone people look up to and trust. We're not taught in school how to do this and our parents didn't tell us the secret on how to establish our authority. It's something we learn and gain by ourselves. And the answer is as simple as changing our mindset. What? No way! Oh but it is. People tend to underestimate the power of the mind. Change your game by changing your mind.

    Take time to look back and think about people in your life who are an authority or a leader at work, who has more credibility（可信度）than you or who you look up to and inspires you. They are up there not for the reasons you think. If you really think about it, they aren't the smartest of the bunch, not the most educated, and neither are they the best. And in no way do they even call themselves an expert. Instead, they are up there because they are great teachers and advocates（支持者）for the success of their customers or employees.

    Let's take Richard Simmons for example. This famous fitness personality has been a household name ever since he started gaining popularity during the first few years of his career. Stop and think, though, do you really think he is the best person to really get people into shape? Is he the Einstein of fitness and nutrition? Or does he even call himself a master of his craft? Of course not. People look up to him and give him authority because he is a great educator. Instead of sharing information that's far too complicated to understand, he figures out what your problems are and finds out a way to fix them. He even has social media that he updates on a regular basis with topics that are helpful and easy to understand for his fans and followers.

    Depending on the field you're in, you can share with people things you know and that you think they will want to know as well. If you're a nurse, for example, you can make a blog post for common health problems and quick remedies（治疗方法）people can do at home. Remember, the simpler you can make it, the better. People will trust you completely if you give them easy solutions. Like Richard, you'll soon be the expert you'll want to listen to. You can be an advocate also by showing people that you have their best interests at heart. You can also start up conferences to take up people's concerns and try to deal with them the best way that you can.

    So, how will you be viewed as an authority? Make that mind shift .Find out what concerns and troubles your target. Give solutions. Show that you care. And help them climb up that ladder of success. Ladies and gentlemen, that's how it's done.

    My grandfather grew up in war-torn Europe. When German soldiers occupied his hometown, the thriving city of Tarow, Poland, he refused to obey them and eventually joined the Soviet army to fight for his country's freedom. “Stand straight, stand tall,” he told himself.

    After the war, in 1947, he boarded a boat for Manhattan. He was hungry and suffering from seasickness. All alone in a new country, he was frightened about his future. Still, he marched head-on into the hustle of the streets of New York. Soon he met other European immigrants, each of them trying to find his or her own way. If they could do it, why couldn't he? “Stand straight, stand tall,” he would remind himself.

    Thanks to the help of a loyal and trusting friend, my grandfather gained a jewelry booth on Canal Street, New York City. He once told me how nervous he was on that first day of work. He was not only trying to learn this tough new business, but also a new language.

    To his surprise, the men in neighboring booths－who could have taken advantage of him－offered their help and advice. Within months, my grandfather was commanding his spot behind the counter, selling diamonds and cultured pearls as if he'd been doing it his whole life.

    Stand straight and stand tall.

    In later years, my grandfather would take both my mother and her sister down the aisle at their weddings. As he stood with each of them, he thought about their new beginnings, and of the adventures and journeys they would experience together. He also thought about the children who would one day carry on his family name.

    I am so proud to be one of those children. Listening to my grandfather's remarkable experiences has changed the way I view my own life.

    Exhibitions in the British Museum

    Hokusai: beyond the Great Wave

    Katsushika Hokusai (1760-1849) is widely regarded as one of Japan's most famous and influential artists.He produced works of astonishing quality right up until his death at the age of 90.This new exhibition will lead you on an artistic journey through the last 30 years of Hokusai's life—a time when he produced some of his most memorable masterpieces.

    25 May—13 August 2017

    Room 35

    Adults￡12,Members/under 16s free

    Places of the mind: British watercolour landscapes 1850-1950

    Drawn from the British Museum's rich collection,this is the first exhibition devoted to landscape drawings and watercolours by British artists in the Victorian and modern eras—two halves of very different centuries.

    23 February—27 August 2017

    Room 90

    Free, just drop in

    Scythians: warriors of ancient Siberia

    This major exhibition explores the story of the Scythians—nomadic tribes and masters of mounted warfare, who flourished between 900 and 200 BC. Their encounters with the Greeks, Assyrians and Persians were written into history but for centuries all trace of their culture was lost—buried beneath the ice.

    14 September 2017—14 January 2018

    Room 30

    Adults￡16.50,Members/under 16s free

    Politics and paradise: Indian popular prints from the Moscatelli Gift

    This display is part of the Museum's contribution to the India-UK Year of Culture 2017.It looks at the popular print culture of India from the 1880s until the 1950s.

    19 July—3 September 2017

    Room 90a

    Free,just drop in

    In its best times on the nineteenth century, thatch (茅草屋顶) played an important role in protecting British homes from the weather. But new technologies since have led to a rapid decline in thatching and many of the thatched cottages that remain have been changed beyond all recognition by developers or have run into disrepair, a rather upsetting reminder of a bygone age.

    A Welsh company, however, is trying to breathe new life into some of the last traditional thatched cottages in western Wales by repairing them and letting them out as holiday homes. Called "Under the Thatch", the company is run by Greg Stevenson, who lives in his own thatched cottage in Ceredigion. An architectural historians by training, he repairs old buildings in old-fashioned ways.

All the cottages are in attractive locations around southwest Wales. Unlike most holiday homes, the cottages are let all year round—chiefly because Greg prices them lower than many holiday properties( 房屋) and he'd prefer that properties are rented just above cost price than not used at all. And with that comes a bargain or two: it's common for a property to go for as little as£35 a night. Consequently occupancy for properties with " Under the Thatch" is at 95 percent( the average in Wales is 35 percent).

    Its success has meant that Greg has been able to buy up more old cottages and bring them back into the community. Greg has also diversified from offering only thatched cottages: he now lets out a variety of rare accommodations dotted around western styles , including a renovated(修复的) train carriage and two gypsy caravans which were used by Romanies.

    Most of his thirty properties are run using environmentally friendly technologies. Including solar panels and recycled furnishings. But most importantly, what the cottages all have in common is that they bring back life to local communities. Spend a weekend "Under the Thatch" rather than in a holiday home, buy local food and visit nearby restaurants, and you will be contributing to the local economy.