Want to boost the chance of your story being published in Reader's Digest and win $25,000? Here are a few of our favorite entries so far in our "Your life: The Reader's Digest Version" contest. After reading these, head over to Facebook and submit your own story about a special moment or lesson that shaped your life.

    "There's Always a John" By Darla Boyd

    My first year of teaching, there was a kid named John in my class. John was difficult to control and he nearly drove me crazy. While talking about him one day, an old teacher put his hand on my shoulder and said, "There will always be a John. Your job is to learn to discover what makes him different and help him succeed." The next year, there was indeed another John. But that advice taught me that there is something to appreciate in everyone.

    "An Early Key Lesson" By Elaine West

    Before I began my first teaching job, my mother, a teacher of 30 years, gave me a very special gift, five simple words that have had an effect on my entire life." Make friends with the janitor（门卫）." Her wisdom taught me the respect for all types of characters and continues to enrich my life to this day. Just five little words but what an impact they can have when you take them to heart.

    “Raising Mommy” By Jan Davis

    Being a mother can always present challenges and rewards. Someone told me early that children will teach you everything you need to know. Being a mother is being raised. Our children become our advisers. Their dreams become our professors, as we are taking notes carefully. The sounds of their laughter and smiles are a great reward to us. Their tears remind us that it is okay to fail, and that we should wipe the tears away and try again.

    As I enter my 40s, I've noticed many of my parents' generation think social networking is something they are simply unable to understand. They fear that, should they try, they will somehow get it wrong; they will say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing or behave in a way that causes embarrassment(尴尬). But here's the first secret of social media: Everyone feels this way.

    I recently met a young actor who was complaining that her work demands that she join Microblog, but she always feels like she doesn't have anything smart to say. It's the same resistance (抵制)I hear from the older generation, who, however, have somehow believed that age is the barrier(障碍), rather than the differences of personal taste.

    Here's the second secret of social media: everybody uses it for more or less the same reasons. Older generations often sign up to stay in touch with children and relatives. We talk about this kind of communication like it's some old-fashioned activity, but it is exactly why younger people use social media. The truth is that most people use social media to gently keep an eye on one another, to see how those they care about are doing without needing to ring them up on the phone every night.

    And this is the last secret of social media: everyone gets to use them in their own way. Newcomers—younger and older—who worry about “getting it right” are thinking that there's a right way to get them. But actually there isn't. Personally, I talk a lot on Microblog. And some people post nothing and they use social media every day as readers. Social media companies would rather see people decorating their networks with pictures and posts, but there's no rule against being a fly on the wall. It's also a fine way to get involved.

    We're quick to forget that the web wasn't invented by 13-year-olds; it was created by today's seniors. I'd never try forcing those with no interest in social networks to use Microblog. But don't let the talk of age divides put you off. There's nothing to stop the older generation from joining in the network their own generation created.

                                   Share  with  us!

    Would you like to have your writing published in this magazine?

    Then let us know! We pay for stories, anecdotes and jokes:

Anecdotes and Jokes

$50

    What's made you laugh recently? A funny sign? A colleague's behaviour? Got a joke? Send it in for Laughter is the Best Medicine!

    Email: Juliet@sws.com

Smart Animals

    Up to $100

    Send us a tale about the strange behaviour of unique pets or wildlife in up to 300 words.

    Email: audrey@sws.com

Power of Love

    Up to $150

    Acts of generosity can change lives or just give you that warm feeling full of love. Share your moments in 100-500 words.

    Email: susan@sws.com

My Story

$350

    Do you have an inspiring or life-changing story to tell? Your story must be true, unpublished, original and 800-1000 words.

    Email: nanjc@sws.com

    For more information, please visit: http://www.sws.com./share

    Many students ask for advice about improving their English. There are three basic questions.

    The first question is about real English. Li Hao from Hubei wrote, "I enjoy watching English films and listening to real English songs. But it takes a long time. What do you think?"

    This is a great way to learn English! Talk about the film or song with your friends, and guess the meaning of the new words. Just enjoy yourself!

    The second question is about speaking. Sam, form Suzhou wrote, "Our school has a foreign teacher. But I'm shy and can't speak to her. What should I do?"

    When I visit China, lots of people in the street say, "Hello! How are you? Where are you from? Do you like China?" These are good questions to start a conversation. Many people are shy when they speak English, so before you begin, takes deep breath and smile! Smiling always helps.

    The third question is about vocabulary. Oliver, from Anhui wrote, "I want to remember all the new words. I write them down, but I forget them quickly. What should I do? Try to remember eight or ten words a day. Write them on pieces of paper and place them in your bedroom. Say the words when you see them, and change them every day. And when you're shopping, how about counting the English words, or saying the English names for everything you see?

    By now you've probably heard about the "you're not special" speech, when English teacher David McCullough told graduating seniors at Wellesley High School: "Do not get the idea you're anything special, because you're not." Mothers and fathers present at the ceremony 一 and a whole lot of other parents across the Internet — took issue with McCullough's ego-puncturing (伤自尊的) words. But lost in the uproar (喧嚣)was something we really should be taking to heart: our young people actually have no idea whether they're particularly talented or accomplished or not. In our eagerness to elevate their self-esteem, we forgot to teach them how to realistically assess their own abilities, a crucial requirement for getting better at anything from math to music to sports. In fact, it's not just privileged high-school students: we all tend to view ourselves as above average.

    Such inflated self-judgments have been found in study after study and it's often exactly when we're least competent at a given task that we rate our performance most generously, in a 2006 study published in the journal Medical Education, for example, medical students who scored the lowest on an essay test were the most charitable in their self evaluations, while high-scoring students judged themselves much more strictly. Poor students, the authors note, "lack insight" into their own inadequacy. Why should this be? Another study, led by Cornell University psychologist David Dunning, offers an enlightening explanation. People who are incompetent, he writes with coauthor Justin Kruger, suffer from a “dual burden": they're not good at what they do, and their very clumsiness prevents them from recognizing how bad they are.

    In Dunning and Kruger's study, subjects scoring at the bottom on tests of logic, grammar and humor -extremely overestimated'' their talents. Although their test scores put them in the 12th percentile (百分位数) they guessed they were in the 62nd. What these individuals lacked (in addition 9 clear logic, proper grammar and a sense of humor) was "meta cognitive skill" the capacity to monitor how well they're performing. In the absence of that capacity, the subjects arrived at an overly hopeful view of their own abilities. There's a paradox here, the authors note: The skills that lead to competence in a particular domain are often the very same skills necessary to evaluate competence in that field? In other words, to get better at judging how well we're doing at an activity, we have to get better at the activity itself.

    There are a couple of ways out of this double bind. First, we can learn to make honest comparisons with others. Train yourself to recognize excellence, even when you yourself don't possess it, and compare what you can do against what truly excellent individuals are able to accomplish. Second, seek out feedback that is frequent, accurate and specific. Find a critic who will tell you not only how poorly you're doing, but just what it is that you're doing wrong. As Dunning and Kruger note, success indicates to us that everything went right, but failure is more ambiguous: any number of things could have gone wrong. Use this external feedback to figure out exactly where and when you screwed up.

    If we adopt these strategies — and most importantly, teach them to our children — they won't need parents, or a commencement (毕业典礼)speaker, to tell them that they're special. They'll already know that they are, or have a plan to get that way.