Today's demands for measuring childhood success have chased household chores from the to-do lists of many young people. In a survey of 1,001 US adults released by Braun Research, 82% reported having regular chores growing up, but only 28% said that they require their own children to do them. “Parents today want their kids spending time on things that can bring them success, but ironically, we've stopped doing one thing that's actually been a proven predictor of success—and that's household chores.” says Richard Rende, a developmental psychologist.

    Giving children household chores at an early age helps to build a lasting sense of mastery, responsibility and independence, according to research by Marty Rossmann, professor at the University of Minnesota. In 2002, Dr. Rossman analyzed data from a longitudinal(纵向的) study that followed 84 children across four periods. She found that young adults who began chores at ages 3 and 4 were more likely to have good relationships with family and friends and to achieve academic and early career success, as compared with those who didn't have chores or who started them as teens.

    Chores also teach children how to be empathetic(感同身受的) and responsive to others' needs, notes psychologist Richard Weissbourd. In research, his team surveyed 10,000 high-school students and asked them to rank what they treasured more: achievement, happiness or caring for others. Almost 80% chose either achievement or happiness over caring for others. As he points out, however, research suggests that personal happiness comes most reliably not from high achievement but from strong relationships. “We're out of balance,” says Dr. Weissbourd. A good way to start re-adjusting priorities(优先事项), he suggests, is by learning to be kind and helpful at home.

    The next time that your child asks to skip chores to do homework, resist the urge to let him or her off the hook. Being slack(懈怠的) about chores when they compete with school sends your child the message that grades and achievement are more important than caring about others. What may seem like small messages in the moment but add up to big ones over time.

    In 1971 a young man who grew up very poor was travelling across the country, trying to make a new start for himself. Along the way he had completely run out of(用光) money and was forced to spend the night in his car. This continued until one morning, after a week of sleeping in his car, he walked nervously into a restaurant and ordered a big breakfast.

    After eating his first good meal in weeks, he found himself lying to the waiter, telling him he had lost his wallet. The waiter, who was also the owner, walked behind the chair where the young man had been sitting. He bent down, and came up with a $20 bill that looked as if it had fallen on the floor and said, “Son, you must have dropped this,” the owner said. The young man couldn't believe his luck! He quickly paid for the breakfast, left a tip, bought gas with the change, and headed West.

    On the way out of town, he began to understand what the owner did. Maybe nobody dropped the money at all. “Maybe that fellow just knew I was in trouble and he helped me in a way that didn't embarrass(使尴尬) me. So I just made a promise to help other people if I can.”

    Later, he worked very hard and became a rich man. Now he lives near Kansas City. Each year he gives away thousands of dollars. He is known as the “Secret Santa” because at Christmas time each year, he personally hands money out to those on the street and at restaurants. Last year, he gave more than $50,000 away in Kansas City.

    When another old cave is discovered in the south of France, it is not usually news. Rather, it is an ordinary event. Such discoveries are so frequent these days that hardly anybody pays heed to them. However, when the Lascaux cave complex was discovered in 1940, the world was amazed. Painted directly on its walls were hundreds of scenes showing how people lived thousands of years ago. The scenes show people hunting animals, such as bison or wild cats. Other images depict birds and, most noticeably, horses, which appear in more than 300 wall images, by far outnumbering all other animals.

    Early artists drawing these animals achieved a monumental and difficult task. They did not limit themselves to the easily accessible walls but carried their painting materials to spaces that required climbing steep walls or going on hands and knees into narrow passages in the Lascaux complex.

    Unfortunately, the paintings have been exposed to the destructive action of water and temperature changes, which easily wear the images away. Because the Lascaux caves have many entrances, air movement has also damaged the images inside.

    Although they are not out in the open air, where natural light would have destroyed them long ago, many of the images have deteriorated and are hardly recognizable. To prevent further damage, the site was closed to tourists in 1963, 23 years after it was discovered.

    For years I have had no idea what I have been doing with my life. I was a 30-year-old lawyer in New York. But being a lawyer was never my dream or goal in life. I honestly wanted to be a writer. I have a great imagination and would write amazing stories in my head. But I always knew that being a writer was never possible for me because it was a better financial decision to stay a lawyer.

    Recently, I couldn't fall asleep at my usual time of 10 p. m. and when I did fall asleep I had the same dream over and over again. The dream starts with me in the ocean trying to go for a swim and I'm searching for something, but I start to drown and have no control over my body. Then a light shines through the waters and when I look up all I can see is myself in a bright white room writing a novel. Then I hear a voice say repeatedly, “Now is the time to try something new!”

    It wasn't just a dream; it was my opportunity to make something good out of my life. That afternoon, I quit my job at the law firm and I couldn't have been any happier. My life started at 30, and every day since that point I haven't stopped enjoying life. I started to write and have been on the best-sellers list for the last two months. Things have definitely turned around.

    Change is a good thing; it gives us an opportunity to take a chance. So my two favorite words I live by and so should you are “change and chance”.

    I've recently published a book of letters from 32 amazing Australian women about their experiences of new motherhood. Perhaps the most common question I've been asked since publication is why more of the mothers didn't ask for help. If those early months were so hard and so exhausting as they were described, then why didn't more of these women simply ask for help?

Embedded (把……牢牢地嵌入) deep in this enquiry is the assumption that if you ask, you shall receive—and that you shall receive without judgment. And if there is any experience of new motherhood in the 21^st century it is the inescapability of judgment. By asking for help new mothers open themselves up to a wave of quiet—and not-so-quiet—disapproval of why on earth they need it.

    The earliest moments of motherhood are synonymous with sacrifice(等同于牺牲). A mother sacrifices her body for not nine but almost ten long months, sharing her shell with a new being. A mother sacrifices her control, and often her mental and physical health, during the painful process of childbirth. A mother, in the weeks and months that follow, puts the needs of another before her own, sacrificing her sense of self, her ambition and all too often, her happiness.

    We don't normally use the word sacrifice to describe the newborn period. It's supposed to be sweet and milky and warm but a sacrifice is exactly what it is. And when we sacrifice we should be entitled (使享有权利) to mourn—a privilege new mothers are expressly prevented from.

    We have reached the point where being a mother who admits she needs help is like saying your child isn't worth the sacrifice. The suffering has become a badge(徽章) of honor, worn in service to your family.

    The role of mothering is not an easy one, nor will it ever be. But it could be made more manageable if we were all to offer help or support.

    Frogmore House has been a royal place since the 18th century and is today used by the Royal Family for private entertaining. It is especially linked with Queen Charlotte, The wife of George III, and her daughters, whose love of botany and art is reflected throughout the house.

    Unfortunately, parts of a visit to Frogmore are unsuitable for wheelchair-users. For information about access, please telephone 020 7766 7324.

Frogmore House and Garden

    18, 19, 20 May 10:00 - 17:30 (last admission 16:00)

    28, 29, 30 August 10:00 -17:30 (last admission 16:00)

    Please telephone 020 7766 7305 for admission prices.

    Summer Opening for Pre-booked Coach Groups

    3 August - 30 September every Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday, 10:00- 15:00.

    Adult: £ 10.50 0ver 60/Student (with valid ID): £ 8. 80

    Child (under 17) : £5. 80 Child (under 5): Free

    Price includes a guided tour of the house.

    Private Evening Tours

    17:30 - 19:00. £25. 00 per person. Price includes a guided tour, a copy of the official guidebook and a glass of champagne.

    The maximum group size for all visits is 10 people

    Please note that there is no access for private cars.

    To make a group booking, please telephone 020 7766 7315.

    For more information including BSL (British Sign Language) interpretation, please telephone 020 7766 7326.