How to Be Confident

    We are all human and have weaknesses. Even if your physical appearance or social skills aren't what you wish they were, that doesn't have to stop you from being confident. {#blank#}1{#/blank#}

    *Make a list of special talents you have, or things you do that are good—morally（道德上） or otherwise. It doesn't have to be a specific skill；it can be an approach or an attitude that you hold through life. {#blank#}2{#/blank#} Are you very patient with people? Do you always see the humorous side of things? Are you always there for your friends?

    {#blank#}3{#/blank#} When you feel strongly about something, speak loudly and clearly and make eye contact with people. People will judge you all the time, and usually they'll misjudge you anyway, so why bother trying to live up to their opinions at all?

    *Take care of yourself. Eat a healthy diet and get enough exercise. Don't abuse your body, don't overload it, and don't deny it any of the things it needs. At the same time, don't obsess(沉迷). {#blank#}4{#/blank#} Those things are only band-aids(权宜之计） and make-up. Confidence comes from within. In order to be confident, you must value yourself and understand that your well-being is important.

    *Improve your posture. {#blank#}5{#/blank#} Don't drop your shoulders. Make sure that your back is straight, your shoulders are square, and your chest sticks out slightly (but stay loose, otherwise you'll appear stubborn （固执的）and nervous). Good posture also helps with deep breathing, which helps with feeling calm and relaxed.

    Tang Dynasty poets sang for about three centuries in different tones. There were many famous poets living in the Tang period such as Li Bai, Du Fu, Bai Juyi and Li Shangyin. Poems of the Tang Dynasty edited in the Qing Dynasty is a collection of about 48,900 poems that were written by over 2,200 poets. But it didn't cover all the poems of the Tang Dynasty.

    During the Tang Dynasty, poems were recited when lovers walked under the moonlight. Poems were also recited when soldiers fought on the battlefield. People recited them in the open air or at temple fairs.

    In the Tang Dynasty scholars had to be poets. Their readers were not only people of high social position but also common people. Poets recited poems; women singers sang poems and other ranks of people, including old women and children, read Tang poems. This atmosphere affected foreigners who visited the country at that time. As a result, Tang poetry was introduced to some adjacent countries, like Japan and Vietnam.

    Tang poetry is a most brilliant page in the history of ancient Chinese literature. It's a miracle in the cultural history of mankind. The Tang Dynasty was a powerful empire with a vast territory. It inherited Chinese civilization that went back to ancient times, and was combined with the best of other cultures and adopted the benefits of other nations in the world. Tang poetry wasn't the only spiritual wealth created by the Tang Dynasty people. Philosophy and religion, handwriting and painting and music and dance all gained new peaks of development. Tang poetry, however, was the jewel in the crown and its greatest achievement.

    Lawns（草坪）are some of the most common things in the world until you really start thinking about them. That's when you realize that they make no sense. Why do people keep these uninteresting, pointless little plants outside their homes? They're not beautiful like flowers, they don't provide food and you have to take care of them constantly.

    Israeli bestselling author Yuval Noah Harari thought these deeds were weird too. He looked into their history and ended up with an interesting story.

    No one considered putting patches of grass outside their homes in ancient times. That changed in the Middle Ages, when French and English kings and nobles started putting patches of grass at their castle entrances.

    “Well-kept lawns demand land and a lot of work,” wrote Harari in his book. “In exchange, they produce nothing of value.” Peasants could never afford to waste their time or land on lawns, so these lawns were a perfect status symbol（身份的象征）for nobility（高贵）.

    When the Industrial Revolution began in the 18th and 19th centuries, the middle classes started being able to afford their own suburban（郊区的）houses. And guess what became the suburban status symbol? A perfectly kept lawn.

    The popularity of lawns continued to grow, taking over public event spaces and sports. In the past, people played sports on all kinds of surfaces—dirt, ice, sand. But in the last couple centuries, they made the switch to green grass.

    “Grass is nowadays the most widespread crop in the USA after corn and wheat,” Harari continued. Lawns spread beyond Europe and the U.S, and they're now status symbols around the world.

    Suburban people may not realize it, but they care for lawns just because centuries ago, French and English kings wanted to show off by intentionally planting something useless. It's strange that people should continue to spend so much time and money on what's really a leftover（遗留物）from the Middle Ages. When you plan your house, you can shake off（摆脱）the cultural leftover and imagine for yourself a rock garden or some other new creation.

    To travel abroad, we often meet the problem of what to take and how to take it. Take as little as possible. Choose clothes for your use in different kinds of situations and when you have made your final choice, take half of it! It's always a big problem to take too many things, and anyway if necessary, you can buy what you need in America. Things like jeans, T-shirts and other clothes are good buys in the US. If you hunt around you can usually find something on sale.

    Whatever baggage you take, make sure it is easy to take. Getting on and off buses and trains, even just changing planes, can be a test if your bags are too heavy or too many. The best way is to take one holdall, like a suitcase or a backpack, and then a smaller bag. Even when you have to check in your holdall, at the airport or bus station, you can keep all your money and documents by your side. It is also a good idea to keep a change of clothing in your shoulder bag in case your suitcase or backpack gets lost by an airline or a bus company.

The means you choose to travel around the US will depend on your money, you time and something else. Since there are certain discounts available to travelers who buy their tickets outside the US, it is a good idea to make travel plans before you go. Also, when you buy your tickets outside the US, you save the eight percent sales tax. Travel is like everything else in America—you have to shop around for the best busy. Never be afraid to ask for the cheapest fare. The clerk seldom offers you the cheapest one.

    Mom wanted only one thing for her birthday. "Can you find me another copy of this song?" she asked, and handed me a worn-out cassette tape. I knew exactly what was recorded on it: My Redeemer. I heard the song played at least a thousand times while growing up. After so many years, the cassette tape was too worn out to be used. I promised her I would find a replacement.

    My Redeemer became Mom's favorite song after my younger brother Tim was killed by a drunk driver in 1973. The only thing that helped her calm down was the soulful sound of My Redeemer from the local radio station. We recorded it on a cassette tape so she could listen to it any time she wanted but none of us knew who the soloist(独唱者) was. These days, I thought the song would be easy to find out. I went home and searched the Internet. Several songs with that title popped up, but none of them was the one Mom loved. I got frustrated.

    Mom's birthday drew near and then one day, I was driving home, listening to our local radio station. A familiar tune came on. It was My Redeemer!As soon as I could, I phoned the station. I got a line on the soloist, who was called Alan Parks. I typed his name into Google and found his home number in South Carolina. Minutes later, I was telling him how much his recording meant to Mom. He offered to ship two CDs out to me personally. I gave him my address. "Red Lion, Pennsylvania?"he said. "Do you know the Logans?""They are our neighbors!""I've been friends with them for 25years," Alan said. "They'll be at my concert at York Gospel Chapel on April 17th. Would you and your mom come too?" We sure would. Mom was excited to hear Alan sing My Redeemer to her, live in concert-on the evening of her 87th birthday.

    I have three kids and a great husband and I'm enjoying a career that I find challenging and fun. This feels like "Success" to the outside world. But there is still a voice in my heart asking if this is who I truly am. Only in silence do I hear the self and wonder who that person might be.

    So I booked a trip to find out. I travelled, for the first time, without my husband or kids. I went to Iceland with a friend, who shares an appreciation for wilderness and silence.

    For six days, we were immersed in wild, raw scenery and real weather—all kinds of weather. Climbing a mountain against rain and returning to a tent for a simple meal reminds you how little you actually need. And how strong it feels to be uncomfortable sometimes.

    I found silence in Iceland，and time to consider the me outside of career and the me outside of kids as I shared stories with strangers.

    When I stopped talking and just listened，I became more generous. I 1earned that choosing to be generous can create more space, more food and more warmth.

    But I didn't really gain any better appreciation of what I want from life or my job. I suspect the anxiety that drove me to seek silence in Iceland was losing sight of my ability to choose gratitude and joy，and to be present in the challenges I set in my career and my family.

    I came home to noise，rush and love; with no less confusion on who I want to be. I know the answer isn't waiting out there on the top of a mountain in Iceland. The answer is in front of me with every step on my own 1ife's path, and in every choice I make.