How to Fix a Relationship

    If you're having a problem with your relationship, you're not alone. {#blank#}1{#/blank#} However, you can make it work out if you decide to work together to fix it.

    Recognize the problems. Any number of problems could do harm to your relationship. You should look for signs and symptoms of the problems you're facing. Listening attentively is the key, which can help you understand what he or she is feeling. {#blank#}2{#/blank#} Actually think about what the person is saying, and maybe try to understand what is behind the words, as well. You also have a right to discuss what you're feeling and thinking. The key is to keep a calm head. {#blank#}3{#/blank#} Once you've figured out what your problems are together, have a conversation to find ways to solve them. How can you solve the problems in a way that both of you can live with? {#blank#}4{#/blank#} Start with the place you both agree on. Maybe you can both agree on the problem at least, or maybe you can agree on the first step to the solution. For instance, maybe you agree that you are feeling disconnected. Maybe you can take it one step further and agree that you need to spend more time together.

    Make a plan together. Once you've agreed to solutions, it's time to put them into concrete terms. For instance, if you both agree you need to spend more time together, then maybe the agreement will be that you should make a date at least once a week.

    Find ways to compromise. The key to any relationship is learning to compromise. {#blank#}5{#/blank#} Compromising is about finding common ground, and both of you giving in a little on the issue.

A. Spend time connecting.

B. Talk about solutions together.

C. Don't just let the words pass over you.

D. In other words, you need to look for common ground.

E. Most people have trouble with relationships at one point or another.

F. You can't just expect to win every argument, as relationships need to give and take.

G. Whatever you need to do, take a few minutes to calm down before continuing the discussion.

    It's 2035. You have a job, a family and you're about 40 years old! Welcome to your future life.

    Getting ready for work, you pause in front of the mirror.

    “Turn red,” you say. Your shirt changes from sky blue to deep red. Tiny preprogrammed electronics(智能电子元件) are re-arranged in your shirt to change its color. Looking into the mirror, you find it hard to believe you're 40. You look much younger.

    With amazing advances in medicine, people in your generation may live to be 150 years old. You're not even middle-aged! As you go into the kitchen and prepare to pour your breakfast cereal into a bowl, you hear, “To lose weight, you shouldn't eat that.” from your shoes. They read the tiny electronic code on the cereal box to find out the nutrition details. You decide to listen to your shoes. “Kitchen, what can I have for breakfast?” A list of possible foods appears on the counter as the kitchen checks its food supplies.

    “Ready for your trip to space?” you ask your son and daughter. In 2005 only specially trained astronauts went into space and very few of them. Today anyone can go to space for day trips or longer vacations. Your best friend even works in space. Handing your children three strawberries each, you add, “The doctor said you need these for space travel.” Thanks to medical advances, vaccination shots(防疫针) are a thing of the past. Ordinary foods contain specific vaccines. With the strawberries in their mouths, the kids head for the front door.

    It's time for you to go to work. Your car checks your fingerprints and unlocks the doors. “My office, Autopilot,” you command. Your car drives itself down the road and moves smoothly into traffic on the highway. You sit back and unroll your e-newspaper. The latest news downloads and fills the viewer. Looking through the pages, you watch the news as video film rather than read it.

    At first glance Esther Okade seems like a normal 10-year-old. She loves dressing up, playing with Barbie dolls and going to the park or shopping. But what makes the British-Nigerian youngster stand out is the fact that she's also a university undergraduate.

    Esther, from Walsall, an industrial town in the UK's West Midlands region, is one of the country's youngest college freshmen. The talented 10-year-old enrolled at the Open University, a UK-based distance learning college, in January and is already top of the class, having recently scored 100% in a recent exam.

    "It's so interesting. It has the type of maths I love. It's real maths-theories, complex numbers, all that type of stuff," she smiles. "I want to finish the course in two years. Then I'm going to do my PhD in financial maths when I'm 13. I want to have my own bank by the time I'm 15 because I like numbers and I like people and banking is a great way to help people." she adds.

    Esther has always jumped ahead of her peers. She sat her first Math GSCE exam, a British high school qualification, at Ounsdale High School in Wolverhampton at just six, where she received a C-grade. A year later, she got the A-grade she wanted. Then last year she scored a B-grade when she sat the Math A-level exam.

    Not content with breaking barriers to attend college at just 10 years old, Esther is also writing a series of math workbooks for children called "Yummy Yummy Algebra."

    "It starts at a beginner level-that's volume one. But then there will be volume two, and volume three, and then volume four. As long as you can add or subtract, you'll be able to do it. I want to show other children they are special." she says.

    After I was married and had lived in Japan for while, my Japanese gradually improved to the point where I could take part in simple conversations with my husband and his friends and family. And I began to notice that often, when I joined in, the others would look surprised, and the conversational topic would come to a stop. After this happened several times, it became clear to me that I was doing something wrong. But for a long time, I didn't know what it was.

    Finally, after listening carefully to many Japanese conversations, I discovered what my problem was. Even though I was speaking Japanese, I was handling the conversation in a Western way.

    A Western-style conversation between two people is like a game of tennis. If I introduce a topic, a conversational ball, I expect you to hit it back. If you agree with me, I don't expect you simply to agree and do nothing more. I expect you to add something-a reason for agreeing, another example, or a detailed explanation to carry the idea further. But I don't expect you always to agree. I am just as happy if you question me, or challenge me, or completely disagree with me. Whether you agree or disagree, your response will return the ball to me.

    A Japanese-style conversation, however, is not at all like tennis or volleyball. It's like bowling. You wait for your turn. And you always know your place in line. It depends on such things as whether you are older or younger, a close friend or a relative stranger to the previous speaker, in a senior or junior position, and so on.

    When your turn comes, you step up to the starting line with your bowling ball and carefully bowl it. Everyone else stands back and watches politely, murmuring encouragement. Everyone waits until the ball has reached the end of the alley（球场）and watches to see if it knocks down all the pins, or only some of them, or none of them. There is a pause, while everyone registers your score.

    Then, after everyone is sure that you have completely finished your turn, the next person in line steps up to the same starting line, with a different ball. He doesn't return your ball, and he does not begin from where your ball stopped. And there is always a suitable pause between turns. There is no rush, no scramble for the ball.

    If you have been trained all your life to play one game, it is no simple matter to switch to another, even if you know the rules. Knowing the rules is not at all the same thing as playing the game.

    Smart Kids is a collection of one hundred events scheduled in October. This year, it is experimenting with Pay What You Decide (PWYD). That is, you can decide to pay what you want to or can afford, after you have attended an event. You can pre-book events without paying for a ticket in advance. Here are some of the director's picks.

    Walk on the Wild Side

    Not ticketed, Free

Join storyteller Sarah Law to hear science stories about animals. Along the way you'll meet all sorts of beautiful creatures and discover life cycles and food chains. Best suited to children aged 5-9. Children under 8 must be accompanied by an adult.

    Introduction to Waves

    Pre-book, PWYD

    Subjects range from sound waves to gravity waves, and from waves of light to crashing waves on the ocean. Mike Goldsmith explores the fundamental features shared by all waves in the natural world.

Science in the Field

    Not ticketed, Free

This storytelling night features a scientist sharing his favourite memories of gathering first-hand data on various field trips. Come along for inspiring and informative stories straight from the scientist's mouth. Join Mark Samuels to find out more in this fun-filled workshop.

    Festival Dinner

Pre-book, £25 per person

Whether you want to explore more about food, or just fancy a talk over a meal, join us to mark the first science festival in London. Which foods should you eat to trick your brain into thinking that you are full? Find out more from Tom Crawford.