Recently I and other Red Cross volunteers met a group of victims from Hurricane Katrina. We were there, as mental health professionals, to offer “psychological first aid” and I was struck by the simple healing power of presence. As we walked in the gate to the shelter, we were greeted with a burst of gratitude from the first person we met. I felt appreciated, but also guilty, because I hadn't really done anything yet.

    I first realized the power of presence many years ago when a friend's mother passed away unexpectedly. I received a call saying she had just passed away. I wanted to rush down there immediately, but didn't want to intrude(打扰) on this very personal period of sadness. I was torn about what to do. Another friend with me then said, “Just go. Just be there.” I did, and I will never regret it.

    Since then, I have not hesitated to be in the presence of others. Once I sat at the bedside of a young man suffering from the pain of his AIDS-ralated dying. He was not awake, and obviously unaware of others' presence. However, the atmosphere was by no means solenm. His family, playing guitars and singing, allowed him to be present with them as though he were still fully alive.

    In my life, I am repeatedly struck by the healing power of presence. In it, none of us are truly alone. It not only is something we give to others but also changes me for the better.

    Anyone who cares about what schools and colleges teach and how their students learn will be interested in the memoir(回忆录)of Ralph W. Tyler, who is one of the most famous men in American education.

    Born in Chicago in 1902, brought up and schooled in Nebraska, the 19-year-old college graduate Ralph Tyler became hooked on teaching while teaching as a science teacher in South Dakota and changed his major from medicine to education.

    Graduate work at the University of Chicago found him connected with honorable educators Charles Judd and W. W. Charters, whose ideas of teaching and testing had an effect on his later work. In 1927, he became a teacher of Ohio State University where he further developed a new method of testing.

    Tyler became well-known nationally in 1938, when he carried his work with the Eight-Year Study from Ohio State University to the University of Chicago at the invitation of Robert Hutchins.

    Tyler was the first director of the Center for Advanced Study in the Behavioral Sciences at Stanford, a position he held for fourteen years. There, he firmly believed that researchers should be free to seek an independent(独立的)spirit in their work.

    Although Tyler officially retired in 1967, he never actually retired. He served on a long list of educational organizations in the United States and abroad. Even in his 80s he traveled across the country to advise teachers and management people on how to set objectives(目标)that develop the best teaching and learning within their schools.

    All across the nation, in Americans' backyards and garages and living rooms, wild animals kept as pets live side by side with their human owners. It's believed that more exotic animals live in American homes than are cared for in American zoos. The exotic-pet business has drawn criticism from animal welfare advocates and wildlife conservationists alike, who say it's not only dangerous to bring wildlife into households but it's cruel and criminal. Yet the issue is far from black or white.

    The term exotic pet has no firm definition. It can refer to any wildlife kept in human households or simply to a pet that's more unusual than the common dog or cat. Privately owning exotic animals is currently permitted in a handful of states with no restrictions in America. Adam Roberts of Born Free USA keeps a running database of deaths and injuries caused by exotic-pet ownership：In Connecticut a 55-year-old woman's face was permanently disfigured by her friend's lifelong pet monkey；in Ohio an 80-year-old man was attacked by a 200-pound kangaroo；in Nebraska a 34-year-old man was strangled(勒)to death by his pet snake. And that list does not include the number of people who become sick from coming into contact with zoonotic(动物传染的) diseases.

    Some people see wild animals as pets as a way to connect with the natural world. Other exotic-pet owners say they are motivated by a desire to preserve threatened species. They believe climate change and human population growth could wipe out a species in record time, so having a backup population is a good idea.   

    But some groups like Born Free USA and the World Wildlife Fund gay that captive breeding(圈养)of endangered species by private owners—whether for commercial, conservation, or educational reasons—serves only to continue a booming market for exotic animals. That, in turn, results in a greater risk to animals still living in their natural habitat.

    I was deeply moved by the kindness of an elderly flower seller at Sydney's Central Station one evening.

    I was feeling as cold as the winter winds quickening the steps of the people who buried chins (下巴) in scarves and hands deep into coat pockets. In many ways, 2018 had proven an arduous year. My teenage daughter had left home for university, my job of 23 years was no more, and a creative project I'd given my all to for years had also been suddenly called off. I also found out a person I considered a friend was far from it.

    A year earlier, I'd dreamt about an earthquake. In the dream, a red light flashed inside a building and then the earth began to rock. Walls fell down on me as I ran into the open, feeling sorry for the people I hadn't loved enough. Before I was buried completely by the falling world, I shouted, "Abuelo, ayudame," in my native Spanish. "Grandfather, help me!"

    Now, with the very real aftershocks of a series of unexpected endings, I walked into a little flower shop to buy a gift for a friend. The gentleman at the shop looked at me and turned away for a moment, returning with a fragrant flower. "For you. You need to smile today," he said in a rich and beautiful accent, offering me the flower with eyes full of care. It took all my strength not to cry. Then he gave me a grandfatherly hug that made me want to tell him everything.

    Instead, I thanked him and headed for the train. How did he know? I wondered. For the first time in weeks, I felt hope.

    The view you adopt for yourself significantly affects the way you lead your life. It can determine whether you become the person you want to be and whether you achieve the things you value. How does this happen? How can a simple belief have the power to transform your psychology and, as a result, your life?

    Believing that your qualities are carved in stone­the fixed mindset­creates an urgency to prove yourself over and over. Some of us are trained in this mindset from an early age. Even as a child, I was focused on being smart, but the fixed mindset was really stamped in by Mrs. Wilson, my sixth­grade teacher. She believed that people's IQ scores told the whole story of who they were. We were seated around the room in IQ order, and only the highest­IQ students could be trusted to collect homework, or take a note to the principal. She was creating a mindset in which everyone in the class had one consuming goal­look smart, don't look stupid.

    I've seen so many people with this one consuming goal of proving themselves­in the classroom, in their careers, and in their relationships. Every situation calls for a confirmation of their intelligence, personality, or character. Every situation is evaluated: Will I succeed or fail? Will I look smart or stupid? Will I feel like a winner or a loser?

    But doesn't our society value intelligence, personality, and character? Isn't it normal to want these qualities? Yes, but...

    There's another mindset, the growth mindset, which is based on the belief that your basic qualities are things you can develop through your efforts. Although people may differ in every which way­in their inborn talents, interests, or characters­everyone can change and grow through efforts and experience. Did you know that Darwin and Tolstoy were considered ordinary children? That the photographer Cindy Sherman, who has been on almost every list of the most important artists of the twentieth century, failed her first photography course? That Geraldine Page, one of our greatest actresses, was advised to give it up for lack of talent?

    You can see how the belief that valuable qualities can be developed creates a passion for learning. Why waste time proving how great you are, when you could be getting better? Why hide weaknesses instead of overcoming them? And why seek out the tried and true, instead of experiences that will stretch you? The passion for stretching yourself and sticking to it, even when it's not going well, is the feature of the growth mindset. This is the mindset that allows people to achieve success during some of the most challenging times in their lives.

Families differ from each other. Some are traditional and seem to be perfect; some are dysfunctional, but tend to still be strong; some are so calm, but controlled and some seem to be rich and have everything, but lack love.{#blank#}1{#/blank#} I've come up with some qualities that would make a great family.

Give credit and appreciate. One of my best memories as a child is when my report card came out with good grades. I then showed it to my parents and they would give me treats, new toys or even money. {#blank#}2{#/blank#} Appreciation for small and large things alike is important to boost one's self-esteem and express the love you have for each other.

Talk to each other.{#blank#}3{#/blank#} They tend to choose family members (and not friends or neighbors) as their first resort to express their emotions, talk about their fears or desires and help solve their problems. Their meal times are always full of positive conversation and exchange of ideas. And more importantly, they lay out specific ground rules, know their limitations and know a lot about the members of their family.

{#blank#}4{#/blank#} No matter how perfect you think your family is, there will come a time that it will be tested, and problems will hit you right in your face. Strong families should learn how to combine all the above qualities and use it to survive every difficulty.

Spiritual wellness. Some might disagree that spiritual wellness is important to a family, but truly, a great family has strong faith and belief no matter what their religion is. When a family has a strong spiritual foundation, they are just more loving and understanding, thus making them stronger.{#blank#}5{#/blank#}.

A. So do you feel the same way?

B. Never conflict with family members.

C. The ability to deal with stress, conflict and crisis.

D. So the old question is, what makes a great family?

E. Strong families have an effective communication environment.

F. Simple showing of appreciation is one of the qualities of a great family.

G. So invest in your family's spiritual wellness and learn to be optimistic.