"Some secrets are hidden from health," wrote John Updike in his poem "Fever".

    I have experienced the truth of Updike's observation. My excellent health kept me from seeing some things—things that became secrets of sort.

    One relates to my son Chris. When I lost my health in March, I discovered something I had missed about him.

    Christopher has been a scholar and athlete through high school. He has behaved responsibly, engaged in community service. He has had an impressive peer group of serious students.

    While I saw these things, I had missed before what I experienced while in hospital. Early on, Christopher offered the clearest and most forceful words about my need to be positive and to fight acute leukemia(急性白血病). He never left the room after a visit without making me promise that I would be mentally tough and positive.

    During the first week, he showed his own mental toughness, researching leukemia and learning what the chances were. He even stopped my doctor outside the room, introduced himself and asked directly what he thought of my chances. He processed the answer without overreaction.

    Christopher did admonish(劝告) me against my choice of words the first week at home. I had moved back into my room from weighing myself, discovering a thin figure I did not know. I announced to him and my wife, “dead man walking”. I thought it was a way to lighten the obvious. He saw it as negativity and was strongly against such thinking and talking.

    When I resisted taking medicine sometimes, Christopher formed a “good-cop-bad-cop” team with his mother. Betsy gently and patiently encouraged. He directly and forcefully insisted. He always made the logical arguments for why I needed to take some awful pills.

    My health had hidden something from me; my ill-health helped me to see it.

    One of Scotland's most active centenarians ( 百岁的人), Lady Morton, drove for nearly 80 years. She loved driving and spent the war years as an ambulance driver for Bangour Hospital. Aged 100 she was still driving around Edinburgh, up to Perthshire and elsewhere — the oldest among all the drivers in Scotland. But she had her first ever accident several days after her 100th birthday — she hit a traffic island (a raised area in the middle of a road where people can wait until it is safe to cross) when she took her new car for a drive in Edinburgh.

    Lady Morton, who celebrated her 100^th birthday in July, was given a car as a present. She talked about the accident happened that night. “I wasn't going fast, but I hit a traffic island. I couldn't see it, because it had no light, which I think was unbelievable and unreasonable. But I am all right and luckily my car wasn't badly damaged.

    Although Lady Morton had the accident, she didn't plan to stop driving.“Some people are just born to drive, and I think I am one of them. I've been a good driver since the first time I got in a car, she said. “I am musical, so I listen to sound of the car to know when to change gear (档位).

    Lady Morton bought her first car in 1927. The main change she had noticed since then is the traffic. “It's appalling. However, I don't mind it, because I am experienced, but I feel very sorry for beginners,” she said.

    Now, I've talked much about education. I've talked about teachers' responsibility for inspiring students and pushing you to learn. I've talked about your parents' responsibility for making sure you stay on track, and you get your homework done, and don't spend every waking hour in front of the TV .I've talked a lot about your government's responsibility for setting high standards.

    But at the end of the day, we can have the most dedicated teachers, the most supportive parents, the best schools in the world-and none of it will make a difference, none of it will matter unless all of you fulfill your responsibilities, unless you show up to those schools, unless you pay attention to those teachers, unless you listen to your parents and grandparents and other adults and put in the hard work it takes to succeed. That's what I want to focus on today: the responsibility each of you has for your education.

    I want to start with the responsibility you have to yourself. Every single one of you has something that you're good at. Every single one of you has something to offer. And you have a responsibility to yourself to discover what that is. That's the opportunity an education can provide.

    And no matter what you want to do with your life, I guarantee that you'll need an education to do it. You want to be a doctor, or a teacher, or a police officer? You want to be a nurse or an architect, a lawyer or a member of our military? You're going to need a good education for every single one of those careers. You cannot drop out of school and just drop into a good job. You've got to train for it and work for it and learn for it.

    That's okay. Some of the most successful people in the world are the ones who've had the most failures. J.K. Rowling's who wrote Harry Potter- her first Harry Potter book was rejected 12 times before it was finally published. Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team. He lost hundreds of games and missed thousands of shots during his career. But he once said, “I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that's why I succeed.”

And even when you're struggling, even when you're discouraged, and you feel like other people have given up on you, don't ever give up on yourself, because when you give up on yourself, you give up on your country.

    People in the United States honor their parents with two special days： Mother's Day, on the second Sunday in May, and Father's Day, on the third Sunday in June. These days are set aside to show love and respect for parents. They raise their children and educate them to be responsible citizens. They give love and care. These two days make us think about the changing roles of mothers and fathers. More mothers now work outside the home. More fathers must help with child care.

    These two special days are celebrated in many different ways. On Mother's Day people wear carnations(康乃馨). A red one symbolizes a living mother. A white one shows that the mother is dead. Many people attend religious services to honor parents. It is also a day when people whose parents are dead visit the cemetery(墓地).On these days, families get together at home, as well as in restaurants. They often have outdoor barbecues for Father's Day. These are days of fun and good feelings and memories.

    Another tradition is to give cards and gifts. Children make them in school. Many people make their own presents. These are valued more than the ones bought in stores. It is not the value of the gift that is important, but it is “the thought that counts”. Greeting card stores, florists, candy makers, bakeries(烘焙店), telephone companies, and other stores do a lot of business during these holidays.

Dear Graham,

    My partner and I have recently lost a pet quite suddenly. Normal life is continuing with so much sadness for my pet meant so much to me. Lots of people won't understand my feeling this way about the death of an animal. This obviously isn't the first time someone in my life has passed away: when I was younger we lost elderly relatives who I loved very much, and naturally much-loved family pets died occasionally too. But this has hit me so much harder. I put so much love into the relationship and I'm just finding it hard to get my head around the fact that it's gone.

    Thank you for taking the time to read this.

ANON, VIA EMAIL

Dear Anon,

    Something you loved deeply has gone from your life, so of course you are sad. We love our pets differently from family members or friends and part of that is because we know they will probably die before us. Our time with our dogs or cats is precious precisely because we understand it is limited.

    As humans, we go through most of life understanding we would die one day. But animals don't. We are the keeper of the secret. Of course, living a life unencumbered(不受妨碍) by thoughts of death means that our pets, in general, lead very simple, happy lives. It's one of the reasons why they are such a joy to be round. You are, of course, correct when you say that many people don't understand your grief, so don't talk to them. Share your feelings with like-minded souls. I'm sure a simple search online will reveal many practical advice for moving on.

    And when you are ready, you can welcome another animal into your life and then you will enjoy happiness again.

GRAHAM, VIA EMAIL

    Just what is a tiger mother？Amy Chua is a law professor at America's Yale University and her recent book on the subject is making waves. She's been called "dangerous", "outrageous", even a "monster" for her descriptions of how she brought up her two daughters.

    Her book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother describes fighting with a daughter for hours at the piano to ensure the child gets a piece of music right. She rejected birthday cards made for her by her girls because she didn't think they had made enough effort. She compared one child negatively with the other, threatening to burn their toys. Her rules include：schoolwork always comes first; an A ­ minus is a bad grade; children must be two years ahead of their classmates in math, and playing the violin or the piano is a must.

    Ms. Chua considers the Chinese hard work ethic(道德) as a way of creating happy, successful children—at least in her case. Although she's had a large amount of flak for her theories, one thing can't be ignored—the success of Chinese children in the education system.

    In Britain, shocking research shows that Chinese girls, for example, are outperforming all other foreign groups at GCSE—79 percent getting 5 A ­ C Grades, compared with 58 percent of white British girls. So what is it about Chinese parenting that's leading to high achievers？And how do Amy Chua's theories play into that success?

    She told me that if her daughter came back from school with 96/100 in a test, Chua would ask her what happened to the other 4 points. It's about always knowing "you can do better", she told me.

    Interestingly, in China, the birthplace of the tiger mother, people are moving away from traditional Chinese parenting. They are following more western parenting styles.