Dear SJ,

    Losing a best friend is never easy.

    Your problem, is not just that you miss your best friend, it is that you feel empty and lost without her friendship.

    It takes time to get over a lost, and during that time, your mind is getting used to a new way of being. This is usually a good thing, even if it feels like a bad thing.

    Now that you are on your own, you are being forced to learn to be by yourself and to rely upon your own inner voice for guidance. I am sure that this feels strange for you, but if you can hang on for a bit longer, it may work to your advantage.

    Best friends are cool, but it is important to know the difference between missing someone and being too independent upon them.

    At your age, girls do tend to stick together and having a good boyfriend may not yet be the better choice. Your friend is leaving you, her best friend, for a boyfriend. Boyfriends are completely different from best friends. The distinction is that boyfriends come and go, while girl friends often stay in your life throughout high school, and even afterwards. It is a completely different sort of bond.

    I suggest that you take advantage of this period in your life to expand your horizons. Enjoy the freedom of having no best friend for a while, and hang with the group. By the time your former best friend breaks up with her boyfriend, you will be in a completely different place, a far better place.

    And, by the way, next time you feel empty and lost, try to write about it in a diary. In several months, you will look back and read it with curiosity about yourself. “Who was I then, and what could I have been thinking?”

    "How are you" is a nice question. It's a friendly way that people in the United States greet each other. But "How are you?" is also a very unusual question. It's a question that often doesn't have an answer. The person who asks "How are you?" hopes to hear the answer "Fine.", even if the person's friend isn't fine. The reason is that "How are you?" isn't really a question and "Fine." isn't really an answer. They are simply other way of saying "Hello!" or "Hi!".

    Sometimes, people also don't say exactly what they mean. For example, when someone asks, "Do you agree?", the other person might be thinking, "No, I disagree. I think you're wrong…"But it isn't very polite to disagree strongly, so the other person might say "I'm not sure…". It's a nice way to say that you don't agree with someone.

    People also don't say exactly what they are thinking when they finish talking with other people. For example, many talks over the phone finish when one person says "I've to go now." Often, the person who wants to hang up gives an excuse," Someone is at the door." "Something is burning on the stove." The excuses might be real, or it might not. Perhaps the person who wants to hang up simply doesn't want to talk any more, but it isn't polite to say that. The excuse is more polite, and it doesn't hurt the other person.

    When they are greeting each other, talking about an idea, or finishing a talk, people often don't say exactly what they are thinking. It's an important way that people try to be nice to each other, and it's also a part of the game of language.

    Thomas Edison was one of ten said to be the greatest genius of his age. There are only a few men in all of the history, who have changed the lives of other men as much as the inventor of the first useful electric light. But Edison could never be happy only because someone said he was a genius. “There is no such thing as genius,” Edison said. He said that what people called genius was mostly hard work.

    But Edison was a dreamer as well as a worker. From his earliest days as a child he wondered about the secrets of nature. Nature, he often said, is full of secrets. He tried to understand them; then, he tried to learn what could usefully be done with them.

    Edison enjoyed thinking. He knew that most people will do almost anything instead of the difficult work of thinking, especially if they do not think very often. But he knew, too, that thinking can give men enjoyment and pleasure.

    Edison could not understand how anyone could be uninterested in life. As he loved to think, he also loved to work. On the day he became 75 years old, someone asked him what ideas he had about life. “Work,” he answered. “Discovering the secrets of nature and using them to make men happier.” He said he had enough inventions in his mind to give him another 100 years of work.

    October might seem to be pumpkin month in the U.S. The holiday of Halloween (万圣节) comes on October 31. Americans around the country are already using social media to show off their pumpkin growing and carving skills.

    Pumpkins are round, orange fruits related to squashes (南瓜小果) and gourds (葫芦). People use their flesh and seeds for food, but they are also popular decorations in the fall.

    Two big pumpkins recently made headlines in the U.S. A farmer in the northeastern state of Rhode Island broke the record for the largest pumpkin ever grown in North America. Richard Wallace's pumpkin weighed 1,026 kilograms. It broke his son's record from 2015. Ron Wallace's pumpkin only weighed 1,011 kilograms last year. A schoolteacher in the northwestern state of Washington brought her large pumpkin to an event in California. Her pumpkin was the champion, weighing 866 kilograms. It turns out that Cindy Tobeck's pumpkin grew from one of the seeds from Ron Wallace's pumpkin from 2015.

    While those pumpkins are large, they are still not the largest in the world. According to the website BigPumpkins.com, Richard Wallace's pumpkin is only the second-heaviest pumpkin of the year. A man in Belgium produced a pumpkin that weighed almost 1,200 kilograms. Smithsonian magazine wrote a story about people who try to grow large pumpkins. In 35 years, the size of record pumpkins has grown from about 225 kilograms to over 1,000 kilograms. Pumpkin farmers trying to grow record fruits are taking the seeds of champion pumpkins from one year and breeding them with other large pumpkins.

    But people are not just growing pumpkins. They are carving them, too. One Twitter user from Britain recently posted a photo of a pumpkin designed to look like U.S. presidential candidate Donald Trump. No word of a Hillary Clinton pumpkin design. But one pumpkin farmer in California allows visitors to shoot small pumpkins out of a cannon（大炮）. The targets? Large paper cut-outs of both Trump and Clinton.

    It sounds almost too good to be true, but a new study on sleeping brains suggests that listening to languages while you sleep can actually help you to learn them.

    For the study, researchers played recordings of foreign words and their translations to subjects enjoying slow-wave sleep, a stage when a person has little consciousness of their environment. To ensure that the results were not compromised by foreign language words that subjects may have had some contact with at some point in their waking lives, researchers made up totally nonexistent foreign words.

    When the subjects woke up, they were presented with the made-up words again without their translations. The subjects were then asked to imagine whether this made-up word indicated an object that was either smaller or larger. This vague(模糊的)way of testing their understanding of the words is an approach that is supposed to tap into the unconscious memory.

    Unbelievably, the subjects were able to correctly classify the words in this way at an accuracy rate that was 10 percent higher than random chance. That's not a rate high enough to have them suddenly communicating in a foreign tongue, but it is enough to suggest that the brain is still absorbing information on some level, even during sleep.

    Researchers have long known that sleep is important for memory, but previously its role in memory was thought to relate only to the preservation and organization of memories acquired during wakefulness. This is the first time that memory formation has been shown to be active during sleep.

    In other words, our brains are listening to the world, and learning about it, even when our conscious selves are not present.

    The next step for researchers will be to see if new information can be 1earned quicker during wakefulness if it was already presented during sleep. If so, it could forever change how we train our brains to learn new things. Sleep learning might become a widespread practice.

    Western conservation groups are seeking stricter laws to deal with trade in endangered wildlife, but Dr. Paul Jepson warns that this isn't the best solution. He highlights the case of the Bali starling (八哥). Bringing in tougher laws created unexpected outcomes, which contributed to the bird's extinction in the wild in 2006.

    He said that the traditional law enforcement (执行) approach that outlawed (宣布……非法) ownership of the Bali starling in the 1980s and 1990s increased rather than reduced the demand for wild-caught Bali starlings. The bird has become a popular gift among the rich of Indonesia, who can gain more status by owning one.

    Instead, a case-by-case analysis might be needed. Last year, he said, a bird association set up a network of breeders (饲养者) among the owners of Bali starling on the island of Java. By introducing a "crowd-breeding" model, it transformed the bird into a species whose price and source of supply were publicly known. This lessened the status of keeping such birds and thereby reduced their profitability to black market suppliers.

    Another case was on Nusa Penida, an island southeast of Bali. A Balinese conservation group planned to release starlings on the island. Critics tried to block the plan, saying the island was outside the birds' native zone. Eventually, the Governor of Bali came up with a proposal. The starlings were given to a local temple as a ceremonial offering before they were released. This gave the Bali starling status as a "sacred bird", giving them protection under customary laws. Now the released starlings established a breeding population on Nusa Penida.

    Dr. Jepson commented, "I do not want to criticize the international approach seeking tighter law enforcement, but this case study shows we should not oversimplify how we respond to the problem of the wildlife trade. There is a growing body of evidence that shows more different approaches are sometimes needed to fit with the local social and political realities. We should tailor solutions on more of a case-by-case basis."