Many parents have learned the hard way that what sounds like open communication is often the very thing that closes a youngster's ears and month. One common mistake is The Lecture, the long monologue that often starts with “When I was your age….” Eighteen-year-old Kelly calls lectures “long, one-side discussions in which I don't say much.”

    Kids reflexively（条件反射地） shut down in the face of a lecture. Their eyes glaze over(呆滞), and they don't register any incoming information. Listen to 13-year-old Sarah describe her least favorite times with her mom and dad. “First, they scream. Then comes the ‘We're so disappointed' speech. Then the ‘I never did that to my parents' lecture begins. After that, even if they realize how ridiculous they sound, they never take it back.”

    Lines like “When you have children of your own, you'll understand” have been seriously said by parents since time immemorial. But many of our expert parents, like Bobby, a registered nurse and mother of three, feel that by falling back on clichés（陈词滥调） to justify our actions, we weaken our position.

    Since kids are creatures of the here and now, the far-off future has no relevance to them. Therefore, good communicators like Bobby suggest, “Give specific reasons for your actions in present language: ‘I'm not letting you go to the party because I don't think there will be enough adult supervisions（监护）.'”

    Betty, who lives in Missiouri, uses an indirect approach. “I find that warnings are accepted more readily if I discuss a news article on a subject I am concerned about. My husband and I talk about it while our children absorb the information. Then they never think I'm preaching.”

    This really helped when Betty's kids began driving. Instead of constantly repeating “Don't drink; don't speed,” she would talk about articles in the paper and express sympathy for the victims of a car crash. Betty made no special effort to draw her kids into the conversation. She depended on a teen-ager's strong desire to put in his opinions-especially if he thinks he isn't being asked for them.

    Ahead of so-called Singles' Day on the 11th of this month，2013, online sales have already begun peaking.

    The leading e-business platform, tmall.com, has promoted(促销) its fifty-percent-off discount to attract consumers. They are also trying to attract buyers through social media. Vice President of tmall.com Wang Yulei says more than 20 thousand online stores have joined the Double 11 Day sales. But this number has doubled. The final number of how many products going to be on sale has not been known yet. But so far, many more products planned to be put on shelves with discounts.

    During last year's Singles' Day, tmall.com, together with taobao.com, reached a record of 19.1 billion yuan in sales, which considered a milestone in the e-business history of China.

    Singles' Day was first started by Chinese college students in the 1990s as the opposite of Valentine's Day, a celebration for people without romantic partners. The timing was based on the date: Nov. 11—or double 11—for singles. Single young people would treat each other to dinner or give gifts to show love to someone and end their single status.

    But now, the Singles' Day has been promoted as a kind of grand craze just for the shopping season, thanks to thousands of discounted products being promoted online.

    Taobao.com was the first big e-retail platform which used the double 11 idea to promote sales. Taobao.com reached one million yuan worth of sales on that day in 2009, when they first promoted the Singles' Day idea. In 2010, the sales increased to 936 million yuan. The figure climbed up to 5.3 billion yuan in 2011, putting huge demand on shipping services. The figure doubled in 2012.

    E-commerce is considered to be replacing the traditional retailing industry, but the reality is both sides are learning from each other.

    If you have a chance to go to Finland, you will probably be surprised to find how “foolish” the Finnish people are.

    Take the taxi drivers for example. Taxis in Finland are mostly high-class Benz with a fare of two US dollars a kilometer. You can go anywhere in one, tell the driver to drop you at any place, say that you have some business to attend to, and then walk off without paying your fare. The driver would not show the least sign of anxiety.

    The dining rooms in all big hotels not only serve their guests, but also serve outside diners. Hotel guests have their meals free, so they naturally go to the free dining rooms to have their meals. The most they would do to show their good faith is to wave their registration card to the waiter. With such a loose check, you can easily use any old registration card to take a couple of friends to dine free of charge.

    The Finnish workers are paid by the hour. They are very much on their own as soon as they have agreed with the boss on the pay. From then on, they just say how many hours they have worked and they will be paid accordingly.

    With so many loopholes (漏洞) in everyday life, surely Finland must be a heaven to those who love to take “petty advantages”. But the strange thing is, all the taxi passengers would always come back to pay their fare after they have attended to their business; not a single outsider has ever been found in the free hotel dining rooms. And workers always give an honest account of the exact hours they put in. As the Finns always act on good faith in everything they do, living in such a society has turned everyone into a real “gentleman”.

    In a society of such high moral practice, what need is there for people to be on guard against others?

    The pupils of Grangetown High have been busy getting to know their newest and tallest classmate — a 7-meter-tall giraffe outside their school.

    The giraffe is a huge sculpture (雕像). The school's headmaster noticed it in an artist's garden as he drove past one day, and thought it would be perfect for his school. “I knew everyone would love it,” he said, “because our basketball team is known as the Grangetown Giraffes, and they wear giraffes on their shirts. So I asked them to write to the artist, asking how much it would cost to buy the giraffe. He was very kind and got it ready to deliver (递送) in six weeks — all for nothing! It was expected to arrive one Sunday morning, so that the pupils would see it when they got to school on Monday — at that time they had no idea that we were getting it.”

    The artist, Tom Bennett 9 was a university professor of chemistry before he retired in 2012 and only took up metalwork a couple of years ago. “I've always drawn pictures,” he said. 441 can even remember doing it on my first day at school — I drew a horse. I wanted it to be the best horse picture ever, but I don't think I succeeded.” Tom's first metalwork was a bicycle on which he and his wife could go cycling together, “It was the most uncomfortable bike ever created,” he said, “so I gave up making bicycles and went into sculpture instead.”

    Meanwhile the pupils at Grangetown High are very happy with their new classmate. “We're going to hold a competition to give it a proper name,” said one girl. “Everyone likes the expression on its face, so perhaps that will give us some ideas.”

    Passenger Information

    Carry-on Bag Rules

    When travelling on China Southern planes, we ask our customers to follow our simple bag rules.

    Each passenger is allowed to bring one bag onto the plane.

    Weight limit: Each carry-on bag may weigh up to 10 kilos.

    Size limit: Each carry-on bag can be up to 110cm long, 60cm high and 30cm wide.

    Additional bags and oversized/overweight bags may be allowed on the plane if there is enough room. There will be a fee for such bags (see the table below). Please note that if your bag breaks more than one rule then you must pay a fee for each rule broken.

    Safety Rules

    For the safety of our passengers, the following items must not be taken onto the plane:

    Bottles containing gas (e.g. cigarette lighter)

    Bottles containing any cream, oil or other liquid that are over 100ml.

    Note:

    If you have any liquid medicines over 100ml that you must use during your flight, please contact our customer service manager on 34533566 to make arrangements at least 24 hours before your departure. You will need to have a doctor's letter explaining why you need the medicine.

    Bag Fees

    No bag over 15 kilos will be allowed on the plane. **No bag over 150cm long or 80cm high may be taken on the plane. Passengers must put such bags in the plane's storage.

Three Feet From Gold

    Darby's uncle was caught by the "gold fever" in the gold—rush days, and went west to dig and grow rich. After months of labor, he was rewarded by the discovery of the shining ore (矿石). He needed machinery to bring the ore to the surface. So, with the "strike", he returned home. And with the help of Darby, he borrowed a lot of money. After buying the machinery and having it shipped, Uncle and Darby went back to work the mine.

    The first car of ore was mined. And the returns proved they had one of the richest mines in Colorado! Down went the drills! Up went the hopes of Uncle and Darby!

    Then something happened! The vein (矿脉) of gold ore disappeared! They drilled on, but all in vain. Finally, they decided to quit and sold the machinery to a junk man for a few hundred dollars. The junk man called in a mining engineer to look at the mine and do a little calculating. The engineer's calculations showed that the vein would be found just three feet from where the Darbys had stopped drilling! The junk man took millions of dollars in the vein, because he knew enough to seek experts' advice before giving up.

    Most of the money which went into the machinery was borrowed through the efforts of Darby, who was then a very young man. The money came from his relatives because of their faith in him. He paid back every dollar of it, although he was years in doing so.

    Long afterwards, Mr. Darby made another discovery that desire can be changed into gold. This discovery came after he went into the business of selling life insurance. Remembering that he lost a huge fortune, for he stopped three feet from gold, Darby profited by the experience in his chosen work, saying to himself, "I stopped three feet from gold, but I never stop because men say 'no' when I ask them to buy insurance."

    Darby sold more than million dollars in life insurance annually. He owes his "stick-ability" to the lesson he learned from his "quit-ability" in the gold mining business.