Recently some articles claim the word “selfie” as one of the most annoying words. But I'd like to offer that maybe it isn't not so bad.

    The “selfie” is used to describe the self taken photo, often from a smart phone. Women and men alike adorn their Instagram, Facebook and Twitter accounts with these pictures, sometimes with puckered lips or large smiles. In fact, the selfie has become so widely known that over 31 million photos on Instagram are captioned with the selfie.

    Let's think about it. Someone takes about 10 seizes each time they do, and they only end up posting one or two of those. They pick the one that they feel makes them look the best. Isn't that beautiful? In that one picture, someone has even him or herself confidence.

    Self-image is important. In society today, we are so often consumed with what society tells us is perfect. But maybe, with that one selfie, we feel like we fit that bill. We feel handsome, beautiful, confident, smart, happy and content. For that moment, everything bad or terrible that has ever happened to us is erased, because that smile or that pucker is what gives us the determination to love ourselves.

    I saw a spoken word poem recently and the young man said: If I ask you what you love the answers will most likely roll off your tongue. You love to read. You love to write. You love birds, music, tattoos… Your mom, your brother, your sister, your daughter, your best friend, your dog. How long do you think you could go on and on before you said “I love myself”？

    That statement hit me like a ton of bricks. I've struggled with confidence all of my life. I still do. And in no way am I saying that taking a selfie is a gateway to that confidence. However, the selfie does deserve some credit for allowing individuals to express themselves. Pamela Rutledge agrees, stating, “There are many more photographs available now of real people than models.”

    A linguist is always listening, never off-duty. I invited a group of friends round to my house, telling them that I was going to record their speech. I said I was interested in their regional accents, and that it would take only a few minutes. Thus one evening, three people turned up at my house and were shown into my front room. When they saw the room they were a bit anxious, for there was a microphone at head height, with wires leading to a tape-recorder in the middle of the floor. They sat down, rather nervously, and I explained that all I wanted was for them to count from 1 to 20. Then we could relax and have a drink. I turned on the tape-recorder and each in turn counted seriously from 1 to 20 in their best accents. When it was over, I turned the tape-recorder off and brought round the drinks. The rest of the evening was spent in total relaxation. I joined them in talking and joking freely, leaving them only to take a telephone call, which lasted some time.

    As a matter of fact, the microphones were not connected to the tape-recorder in the middle of the room at all but to another one in the kitchen. My friends, having seen the visible tape-recorder turned off, paid no more attention to the microphone which stayed in front of their chairs, only a few inches from their mouths, thus giving excellent sound quality. And my long absence meant that I was able to get as natural a piece of conversation as it would be possible to find I should add, perhaps, that I did tell my friends what had happened to them, after the recording was over, and asked them whether it should be destroyed. None of them wanted to—but for some years after that, it always seemed that when it came to buying drinks, it was I who paid for them. Linguistic research can be a very expensive business.

Confidence Comes From Treating Others As Equals

    There's been recent discussion over Chinese attitudes toward foreigners, caused by another quarrel between a foreigner and a taxi driver. According to the studies described in the Oxford Handbook of Chinese Psychology, Chinese have lower self﹣confidence compared to Westerners. Yet does the result still apply to the Chinese people today？

    Yes and no. For the moment, different attitudes toward foreigners can still be found in China's society, with some displaying low self﹣confidence like "Foreigners are awesome （令人敬畏的）, and Western countries are awesome. We should respect them and be as polite as possible, and shouldn't let them look down on us, " and a few unfriendly opinions such as "Some foreigners are rude and disrespectful, and their level of civility （礼貌） is far behind China."

    Chinese used to be lacking in self﹣confidence. It might start from the modern history, after the failure in the Opium wars, and the following humiliation （耻辱） of being bullied （被欺负） and brought to their knees by Western guns. And the dark history is still to some extent affecting our mentality （心态） today.

    For some time, the Western world represents the best of everything in some Chinese eyes. But our state of mind is gradually changing. When asked "What makes you feel proud of your country？" in school classes in China, answers vary from the World Expo to the Olympic Games, from athletes to astronauts, from the mushrooming skyscrapers to busy metropolises, which have all filled us with growing self﹣confidence.

    While answering the question "Since China is so good today and Chinese people are more confident, why are an increasing number of Chinese emigrating abroad？" Zhang Weiwei, a professor at Fudan University, replied that at least 70 percent of Chinese migrants （移民） become more patriotic （爱国的） after leaving their home country, no matter whether they have become a naturalized citizen of another nation or not. Such result and experiences are much more convincing and have better effect than dozens of "patriotic education" classes.

    There is no reason for us not to be self﹣confident. We live in the world's second﹣largest economy. Chinese net financial assets per capita （人均纯金融资产） and the purchasing power of people have seen a sharp rise, with more and more people starting to purchase works of art, instead of only necessities. These all indicate a rising standard of life and self﹣confidence.

    Nevertheless, the point of the changing attitudes toward ourselves or other countries is not realizing other nations are better or worse than China, but treating them like how we treat our fellow Chinese. That is what confidence means, not being condescending （屈尊）, not worshiping, but looking each other in the eye with trust and respect.

Gift Guide

    Chocolates

    The weather outside may be frightful but the smiles and smells inside are abundant! For all those special people on our Christmas girl list, send the sweat treats to help spread the joyous holiday cheer. What is the perfect gift for any occasion? Chocolate, chocolate, and more chocolate!

    La Place Collection

    Location: Suite 3, 41 Xinyuanjie, near Beijing Chateau

    Tel: 010-64668090

    Comptoirs de France Bakery

    Location: Rm 102, 1/F, Building 15, China Central Place, 89 Jianguolu.

    Tel: 010-65305480

    Awfully Chocolate

    Location: 108, Building 2, Beijing Wanda Plaza, 87 Jianguolu.

    Tel: 010-58205826

    Recipe books

    A recipe book from a different culture provides a chance to change up a Christmas dinner. Think about sitting down to a table of Mexican wedding cookies, Norwegian lefse, Chilean salmon, cream cheese lart and Chinese dishes. If you can't find the right one in time, search online, print the page and bind them into a book yourself. Nothing says, "I really care!" more than making an effort.

    Wine

    Get to the nearest Carrefour, and seize a bottle of good wine from among the 600 choices available there from Italy, Spain, the United States, Argentina, Chile, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa and Switzerland. 150-3, 000 yuan a bottle.

    Location: Wine section on 2/F, Carrefour Shuangjing Branch, 31 Guangqu Lu, Chaoyang District.

    Opening hours: 9 a. m.- 10p. m.

    Tel: 010-51909508/09

    Pearls

    The top level of Hongqiao Market has strand upon strand of pearls in every shape and color imaginable. Pearls never go out of style and make for a good gift for women with classic tastes.

    Hongqiao Market

    Location: Tian Tan East Road, east of the Temple of Heaven

    Opening hours: 8: 30 a. m.-9 p. m., open daily

    Tel: 010-67133354

    Life for almost anyone is increasingly influenced by screens. Not only are screens themselves cheap to make, but they also make things cheaper. Any place that can fit a screen in can cut costs. And any activity that can happen on a screen becomes cheaper. The physical experience of learning, living and dying is becoming smooth glass. All of this has led to a curious new reality: Human contact is becoming a luxury good (奢侈品).

    "What we are seeing now is the luxury of human engagement," Milton Pedraza, the chief of the

    Luxury Institute, said. Expected spending on experiences such as enjoyable travel and dining is outpacing spending on goods, according to his company's research, and he sees it as a direct response to the rapid increase of screens.

    Screens exposure starts young. And children who spent more than two hours a day looking at screen got lower scores on thinking and language tests, according to early results of a landmark study supported by the National Institutes of Health. The study focuses on brain development of more than 11,000 children. Most disturbingly, the study is finding that the brains of children who spend much time on screens are different. For some kids, their cerebral cortex (大脑皮层) would become thinner before expected time. In adults, one study found an association between screen time and depression.

    There is also the reality that in our culture of increasing separation, in which so many of the traditional gathering places and social structures have disappeared, screens are filling a vital gap.

    For normal people, running away from the screen becomes impossible. It's not a luxury, and it's easy to get. It is normal for more people to need the network constantly. In addition, it has become an important part of social interaction.

From a young age, Michael Platt loved two things: the Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. and cupcakes. He imagined ways he too could fight for justice. He memorized figures about income inequality and childhood hunger. But he also spent afternoons at his home computer, amazed by YouTube bakers who made perfect cupcakes.

When his parents gave him a pair of Toms shoes for Christmas three years ago, Michael saw a way to connect his twin passions. At age 11, he founded a bakery that operates on the Toms one-for-one model: For every cupcake, cake or cookie that Michael sells, he donates another to the homeless and hungry. Twice a month, he heads to locations to pass out goodies. Michael, now 13, said he especially enjoys handing out cupcakes to kids.

"I know I like cupcakes, but also cupcakes are part of a child's childhood so they should get them," said Michael, noting that he always eats one with whippedicing (打发的糖霜) on his birthday.

Michael calls his baking business Michaels Desserts. He left out the apostrophe (撇号) as a reminder that he is baking for others, not himself. "I always wanted to have a purpose for what I do." he said. "It's all about helping people— not just having a purpose for yourself, but thinking about, 'How does this touch other things? "

When he started the bakery, he knew that he wanted his business to do more than make money. That's why the intention of Michaels Desserts is fighting hunger and giving back, which Michael accomplishes through his giveaways. Michael hopes his cupcakes inspire others to work for social equality.

Sometimes, Michael admits, he grows tired of being in the kitchen. Then he remembers the homeless boy he met once while handing out cupcakes. A couple of days afterward, the boy's father messaged Michael on Facebook to say that his son, encouraged by Michael's example, now desired to become a baker.

"That inspired me," Michael said. He smiled and looked down.