Many of us mistakenly believe that it's wrong to think we have any good qualities. We may spend a lot of time blaming ourselves for our negative qualities, thinking that self criticism is the key to improving our performance. However, a constant focus on our supposed shortcomings can stop our efforts to make friends with other people. How can we believe that others could like us if we believe our inner being is flawed (有缺陷)?

    If someone seems to dislike you, the reason for that dislike might have little or nothing to do with you. The person who doesn't like you might be fearful, or shallow, or busy or shy. Perhaps you and that person are simply a mismatch for each other at this particular time.

    Don't take yourself out of the game by deciding that your flaws are bigger than your good qualities. In fact, some of the very qualities you consider to be flaws may be irresistible to someone else. For all the factors that might cause one person to reject you, there are at least as many factors that will work in your favor with someone else.

    You might be thirty pounds over your ideal weight, but you may have a wonderful laugh and a real enthusiasm for life. There are many people who don't mind your extra pounds. You may drive a shabby car, but you might be a great dancer and a loyal friend. There are people out there looking for loyalty, or fun, or sweetness, or wisdom, and the package it comes in is not important. If you are worried that you are not beautiful enough to attract friends, keep in mind that not everyone is looking for physical beauty in their friends. You can decide to feel inferior (自卑) because you don't have much money and you don't drive a nice car. You can believe that this is the reason that you don't have many friends in your life. On the other hand, if you are very wealthy you may be suspicious that everyone is after your money and that nobody really likes you as a person.

    The point is that you can focus on just about anything and believe it's the reason you do not have friends and cannot make any.

    In the fall of 1959, Freed suffered a bad reputation for rumors of bribery (贿赂行为), and his troubles were too strong to be resisted. When WABC asked Freed to sign a statement swearing that he had never taken bribes, he refused and was fired. Although he later signed such a statement for WNEW-TV, he lost his television show as well.

    Finding himself unwelcome in New York, Freed fled to the West Coast, where he managed to land a daytime disc jockey (流行音乐播音员) job at KDAY in Los Angeles in 1960. Legal problems continued to bother him, though, and he was charged with taking bribes of more than $30,000 from a number of record companies. Publicly, Freed denied that he had ever accepted direct bribes, although he acknowledged that he had accepted gifts from record companies, but only for playing records that he was certain would become hits anyway. After a short time at KDAY, he left when the station management refused to let him promote his live rock ‘n' roll shows. He returned to New York, but not as a broadcaster. At the height of the great enthusiasm for the twist dance, he hosted a Manhattan twist revue (时事讽刺剧), but when this enthusiasm cooled, he found a disc jockey job at WQAM in Miami in 1962. During this difficult period, Freed began drinking heavily and lost his job in Miami after only two months. In December of 1962 he was found guilty in New York of two charges of commercial bribery and was given a six-month sentence and fined $300. This effectively ended his career.

    Freed spent the last years of his life in Palm Springs, California. Although he had redefined what it meant to be a disc jockey and named the music that had become an anthem (圣歌) for the world's youth, he was a disgraced (耻辱的) and broken man, no longer able to work in the business he loved. On January 20, 1965, he died in a hospital in Palm Springs.

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    On a flight from Dallas, Texas, to Cincinnati, Ohio, to visit a friend in 2013, event planner Paige Chenault daydreamed about the grand birthday parties she'd throw for her daughter one day. (Paige was five months pregnant at the time.) Then, flipping through a magazine, she saw a photo of an impoverished Haitian boy, skinny. "I thought, this kid has nothing," Paige says.

    The image stayed with her, and she resolved to do something to help. "I decided I would use my talents to throw birthday parties for homeless kids," Paige says. For the next four years, Paige and her husband, Colin, took time out from parenthood to visit shelters to determine how best to pull off the parties.

    Finally, in January 2017, Paige launched the Birthday Party Project, a nonprofit organization, and recruited friends and family to help decorate Dallas's 75- occupant Family Gateway Shelter with balloons and streamers, celebrating the birthdays of 11 boys and girls, with 60 more homeless kids in attendance. "That first party was better than I could have ever imagined," says Paige.

    Now Paige and her staff of three paid employees work with regional volunteers to plan monthly themed parties at 15 shelters across the country, some of which house abused or abandoned kids. Each child celebrating a birthday that month gets a $30 gift, a decorative place mat, and an individual cake or cupcake.

    One of Paige's favorite parts of each party is when the kids make a wish and blow out the candles. "They rarely get a chance to dream big," says Paige.

    Her daughter, Lizzie, now seven, often helps out at the parties. Paige says, "The one thing I've always wanted is for my kid to be generous."

    Studies have shown most people fail to realize how much time they spend on their smart­phones each day.

    Frank and Amelia's family were put to a test, using a free app called "Moment­screen Time Tracker". The Vascellaros—Frank, Amelia, 14­year­old twins Frankie and Joe, and 17­year­old Sam—all said they did not really know they were spending so much time on their phones each day.

    "Honestly, I don't feel like I'm on my phone a lot," Amelia Vascellaro said. Amelia was on her phone far less often than Frank, according to the app. While Amelia spent about an hour per day on the phone, Frank spent close to four hours on his phone—which came as a shock to him. The children's times varied but they often spent more than a couple of hours on the phone as well.

    Minneapolis­based Dr Kirsten Lind Seal sees phone usage come up a lot among families. Lind Seal said many family members' phone use has become problematic.

    "If we hear more than once, 'Do you have to be on your phone right now? Can you please put your phone down? Did you hear what I said?' it may be a sign that it is negatively influencing our family relationships and our daily lives," she said.

    Lind Seal said actually paying attention to how much time one spends on the phone is a good first step in deciding when to put it down.

    She asks parents to encourage more face­to­face communication for teens and young adults as they continue developing their social and emotional skills. "What we find is that we are really losing out on empathy—the ability to understand other people's feelings and problems——when we spend a lot of time on our smart­phones to communicate with other people she said.

Christmas in the United States is traditionally a time of gift-giving and family gatherings. But small towns across the country have their own traditions.

Middleburg, a small town in the state of Virginia, is known for its horses. For more than 50 years, Middleburg has organized a yearly Christmas parade. Men and women ride horses through the woods and fields. They follow hunting dogs as they search for a wild fox. But first, these hunters ride in the yearly parade, wearing their bright red hunting clothes and hats.

John Hale, a citizen of Middleburg says many city people visit his town." We have a lot of people from an urban area that come to visit, but it incorporates a lot of the old traditions." The night-time hayride is one such tradition. Small groups gather under the moonlight on an open wagon (四轮马车) filled with hay (干草). The passengers sing as farm horses pull the wagon slowly across the fields.

There are some newer traditions, too. Trey Matheu works at the nearby Salamander Resort. He says a visit to Middleburg is a chance to slow down for a day. He says Middleburg can be a calming, peaceful place without tension.

"Middleburg is an opportunity to take a step back, to take a deep breath, and understand that even though life is moving on at a very fast pace, there's really an opportunity where you're allowed to step off for a little bit."

Parade organizers say more than 13, 000 people attend even in below freezing weather. But if you ask, you will hear many different reasons why people come to watch the parade:

"I come here because I'm from a small town. I like how everybody comes together."

"I live right down that street, right there. And that's my dog."

Middleburg looks its best at Christmastime. That may be why so many people return each year.