Questions you should ask yourself when you fail

    The more new things we try the more failure we are likely to have.{#blank#}1{#/blank#}. Experiencing failure can be a learning experience and an opportunity for a fresh start. A good way to begin this process is by asking yourself some tough questions.

⑴What can I learn from this?

    Take responsibility for what went wrong. OK, so it was not all your fault—but some of it was. Successful people don't make excuses or blame others. {#blank#}2{#/blank#} So you should look at the experience objectively(客观地).

⑵Do I need to acquire or improve some skills?

    Did the problem reveal some lack of skill on your part? How could you learn or improve those skills? Perhaps there are books or courses or people you could turn to. {#blank#}3{#/blank#}

⑶Who can I learn from?

    Is there someone to whom you can turn for advice? Did a boss, colleague or friend see what happened? {#blank#}4{#/blank#}. Most people do not ask for help because they believe it to be a sign of weakness rather than strength. It's not. It shows that you are ready to learn and change.

⑷What will I do next?

    Now draw up an action plan. Will you try something similar or something different? Revisit your goals. Failure doesn't mean you have to give up; maybe you just need to change it in another way. {#blank#}5{#/blank#}

    The average（平均的）American child spends three to five hours a day watching TV. In 1961, the average child began to watch television at age three; however, today it is nine months. Yet, most parents think that television has bad influence on their children. For example, in the early 1970s, my parents believed that my bad eyesight was the result of sitting too close to the screen, and they therefore made my stay at least six feet from it. Today, most people have no such worry, but many new ridiculous (荒谬的) sayings have appeared:

      *TV makes kids stupid. Many children watch more educational programs when they are pre-schoolers. When they grow up, they can read more books and have much better ideas to solve difficult problems than other children.

     *TV makes kids violent. The real story is not so simple. Hundreds of studies show that watching violence on TV makes children more aggressive (好斗的). But a study of over 5,000 children also finds that some positive programs make children kinder. The problem is that kids are increasingly watching shows with violence instead of those suitable for their age.

      *Sitting around watching TV makes kids overweight. An experiment finds that when children watch less television, they do lose extra weight; however, reducing their television time does not make them more active. The real problem lies in snacking (吃零食). A widespread habit for kids, and junk-food advertisements.

      *TV helps kids get to sleep. The opposite is true. The more television children watch, the more likely they are to have irregular sleep and nap (小睡) patterns. Allowing kids to watch television is part of the problem, not the solution.

    Every man wants his son to be somewhat of a clone, not in features but in footsteps. As he grows, you also age, and your ambitions become more unachievable. You begin to realize that your boy, in your footsteps, could probably achieve what you hoped for. But footsteps can be muddied and they can go off in different directions.

    My son Jody has hated school since day one in kindergarten. Science projects waited until the last moment. Book reports weren't written until the final threat.

    I've been a newspaperman all my adult life. My daughter is a university graduate working toward her master's degree in English. But Jody? When he entered the tenth grade, he became a “vo-tech(技校)” student. They're called “motorheads” by the rest of the student body.

    When a secretary in my office first called him “motorhead”, I was shocked. “Hey, he's a good kid,” I wanted to say. “And smart, really.”

    I learned later that motorheads are, indeed, different. They usually have dirty hands and wear dirty work clothes. And they don't often make school honor rolls(光荣榜).

    But being the parent of a motorhead is itself an experience in education. We, who work in clean shirts in offices, don't have the abilities that motorheads have. I began to learn this when I had my car crashed. The cost to repair it was estimated at $800. “Hey, I can fix it,” said Jody. I doubted it, but let him go ahead, for I had nothing to lose.

    My son, with other motorheads, fixed the car. They got parts(零件) from a junkyard, and ability from vo-tech classes. The cost was $25 instead of $800.

Since that first repair job, a broken air-conditioner, a non-functioning washer and a non-toasting toaster have been fixed. Neighbors and co-workers trust their car repairs to him.

    These kids are happiest when doing repairs. They joke and laugh and are living in their own relaxed world. And their minds are bright in spite of their dirty hands and clothes.

    I have learned a lot from my motorhead: publishers need printers, engineers need mechanics, and architects need builders. Most importantly, I have learned that fathers don't need clones in footsteps or anywhere else.

My son may never make the school honor roll, but he made mine.

    Recently I started discovering one thing which amazes me so much: how perfect everything is in the world we are living in! Just look, all day long we are busy working and just when we get tired, the night comes in, so we may sleep and relax. One day we may enjoy the bright sun and another day, when we get tired of the sun, the rain pours down.

    A few months ago I was so happy with my life. Later, I got tired from the happiness. I wished I would have some trial to strengthen my character and learn something new about life. I got what I wanted. Shortly after I got severe angina (心绞痛), so I had to stay home for several weeks. During this period I had time to rethink my life and discover myself. The lessons were terrific, but I felt grateful for this time.

    Another example: I have a friend, who primarily thinks about having fun. Once I thought why we get along well with each other and what in me attracts her. A couple of days ago I found the answer. I like calmness and silence. She likes noise and agitation (热闹). We attract each other just to balance ourselves, in other words, to give some drive to me and some calmness to her!

    So remember that the universe is so wise that it will try to balance you. As for me, this is perfect because extremes create suffering: too much food – too little food, too cold – too hot, too much fun – too little fun.

    Many seniors feel pressured to go straight from high school to college, but Camden Olson, who graduated from the Latin School of Chicago in the US last year, didn't give in. She decided to spend a gap year-taking a year off before college-raising a guide dog for Guiding Eyes for the Blind in Maine. The non - profit provides trained guide dogs to blind and visually - impaired (视力障碍的) people. "This is something I've always wanted to do." Olson said.

    It is becoming more and more popular among American teenagers to have a gap year. Some students use the year off to figure out what they want to do: travel the world or save money for college.

    Olson is using her time to follow a passion she's had since 7th grade. For years, she kept an eye on guide dog services until she came across the opportunity at Guiding Eyes. With support from her friends, family and teachers, Olson went for it. Olson's volunteer work centers around Derby, a one-year-old black dog.

    "My job is to raise him to be well-mannered and socialized," she said. "Guide dogs can't be distracted. They go everywhere with their visually-impaired owner. They give a blind person a lot of support, too."

    Of course, there's an end in sight for Derby and Olson's close bond. When Derby celebrates his own graduation, Olson will have to say goodbye to him.

    "No doubt there will be tears, but, if he passes, I will be so happy for him to become a working dog," she said.

    While some do not agree that gap years are a good choice, Olson said she's seen major success. In fact, she'll be attending Princeton University soon and is thinking about majoring in biology.

    "I think I'm already so much more mature than I was," she said. "So many kids come back from gap years a lot more focused and prepared."