Making and Keeping Friends Is More than Child's Play

    When 6-year­-old Rachel returned to school on a recent Monday morning, her eyes immediately scanned the playground for her friend Abbie. “Though they were only separated by a weekend, the girls ran right into each other's arms and hugged,” recalls Rachel's mother Kathryn Willis of Gilbert. “It was like a scene from a movie.”

    Most parents instinctively (本能地) know that having friends is good for their child. Experts agree that friendship isnot simply child's play, but a powerful predictor of social adjustment throughout life.

A Skill for Life

  “Childhood friendships serve as a very important training ground for adulthood,” says Dr. Robbie Adler­Tapia, psychologist with the Center for Children's Health & Life Development at the East Valley Family Resource Center.

    Researcher William Hartup states,“Peerrelations contribute significantly to both social and cognitive (认知的) development.” Hartup concludes that the single best childhood predictor of adult social adaptation is not school grades or classroom behavior, butrather, how well a child gets along with other children.

    The work of Arizona State University professor of Developmental Psychology Gary Ladd proves that just as being ableto make and keep friends is beneficial to kids while the lack of friends is detrimental.

Good Friendships Don't Just Happen

    Experts agree that it is essential forchildren to establish high­quality friendships. But, researchers warn, these friendships don't necessarily just happen. Often, a good friendship begins with involvedparents.

    Psychologist Dr. Lynne Kenney Markan believes kids should be taught social skills in much the same way they are taught math and reading.

Bad Company

Many parents worry about the quality aswell as the quantity of their child's friendships. “When she was in 1st grade, her supposed ‘best friend' began calling her names and threatening to hurt her,”says Mindy Miller. “My daughter wasn't allowed to talk to or even look at other girls in her class. It really crushed her spirit. I told my daughter she didn't need a ‘friend' like that.”

    “I'll bend over backwards(拼命) to help my son get together with a friend I think is good for him,” Adler­ Tapiasays. “I don't look at it as manipulation (操纵)，just positive parental involvement.”

"Who does the cooking in your home?" I'm often asked by my colleagues. "My wife and I share it 50/50," I usually say without hesitation.

    It's a lie, of course. We're pretty much even（相等的）when it comes to the children and the elderly. But the paying of bills isn't 50/50-my wife pays all sorts of household expenses, so I never even have to set eyes on them. And the cooking isn't 50/50, either.

    The truth is that I am the cook. On my recent 40th birthday, I received the following gifts from my children: a new pot, two mini bottles of truffle oil, a decorative salad-dressing pourer, and a juice-making machine. For a moment I longed for something more manly, a cricket bat, perhaps, and then had to admit that all these things would be useful for me.

    It's not that my wife can't or doesn't like to cook (she makes delicious Welsh cakes). Nor has it always been this way. In the early years of our marriage I'd be relaxing with a glass of wine while my wife prepared for dinner after work.

But at some point that changed and I became the cook. Ten years with my wife gave me the rewards-I can throw together a roast, and I can make much foreign food. But I have truly become a monster(怪物) in the kitchen, unable to keep myself away from cooking. "You have to add Dijon to the sauce; it brings out the taste of the cheese," I volunteer, as my wife is cooking. "Quick, stir in the butter so the dish becomes delicious."

    Is it any wonder that my wife has given up coming into the kitchen while I find the whole process of chopping, mixing, and adding things deeply satisfying?

Hobbies Help Cure Addiction to the Internet

    While some parents have expressed concerns about the amount of time their children spent surfing the Internet during the summer break from school, it wasn't a problem for Yin Qiming.

    Instead, the 37-year-old Shanghai resident and his daughter divided their vacation between cyberspace and the 8-year-old's other interests.

    “My daughter has many hobbies and I and her mother respect her choices, so we accompany her to classes she enjoys, such as learning to play the drums and drawing,” he said.

    “She loves to play outside with her friends, so she doesn't think the Internet is a must-have thing in her life.”

    Yin added that he rarely imposes a time limit on his daughter's online activity.

    “She sometimes uses WeChat (a popular instant-messaging tool) on my mobile phone, but only to contact her mother,” he said. “Once she has her own plans every day and realizes that the internet is just a part of life, she won't become addicted to it.”

    Li Lin, a primary school teacher from Liaoning province, expressed a similar opinion.

    “We do some homework online, including reciting stories, and the children use the Internet frequently every day of their lives,” she said, noting that the children's online activity is limited to 30 minutes a day at school.

    “We should make better use of the Internet to provide children with more knowledge and help them to grow up,” said Li, who has a 10-year-old son.

    The key to preventing children, especially those at primary and middle schools, from becoming addicted to the Internet is to limit the time they spend online and to ensure that they know cyberspace cannot replace traditional forms of communication, she said.

    Mao Feizhu, a psychologist from Fujian province in southeast China, said people overestimate the influence of the internet.

    “Many people, even some parents, believe the Internet plays a big role in our daily lives, and many things can be completed online, but that's not completely right,” she said.

    “We can use social applications to talk or play basketball games, and even share what we are thinking about, but sometimes it's impossible for our emotions to be accurately reflected in this way. What children need is emotional communication and real physical exercise. After all, love cannot be bought on the net,” she said.

    Perhaps, the best way to stop young netizens spending too much time online is to encourage their other interests but also accompany them when they go online: “We should use the Internet, not become its slaves.

    It is often necessary to release a fish, that is, set it free after catching, because it is too small, or you just don't want to take it home to eat. In some cases, releasing fish is a good measure that will help keep fish variety and build their population size. The Department of Game and Inland Fisheries (DGIF) encourages fishermen who practice catch-and-release fishing to use a few simple skills when doing so. The advice provided below will help make sure that the fish you release will survive to bite again another day.

    —When catching a fish, play it quickly and keep the fish in the water as much as possible.

    Don't' use a net in landing the fish and release it quickly to prevent it from dying.

    —Hold the fish gently. Do not put your fingers in its eyes. Don't wipe the scales (鱼鳞) off the fish because it might cause it to develop a disease and reduce its chance of survival.

    —Remove your hook (鱼钩) quickly. If the hook is too deep or hooked in the stomach, cut the line and leave the hook in. The hook left inside will cause no serious problem to the fish.

    —Take good care of the fish by moving it gently in water. Release the fish when it begins to struggle and is able to swim.

    —Do not hold fish in a bucket or some other containers and later decide to release it. If you are going to release a fish, do so right away.

    With a little care and by following the suggestions given above, you can give the released fish a better chance of survival.

    The U.S. has countless secret swimming holes throughout most states, many of which you've likely never heard of unless you're from the area.

    Scientists in Western Australia claim to have made a new discovery—they have found gold in the leaves and twigs of trees. The researchers believe that the trees suck up the gold from deep underground, over 30 metres down. The discovery has been described as the first of its kind in the world. Australian gold exploration companies are pleased because it will make finding gold cheaper. Rather than drilling deep holes to find gold, they have more ways to examine tree leaves and branches. There is only a tiny amount of gold in the leaves. It would take 500 trees to make one gold ring. The gold is found using a special X-ray machine owned by an Australian government agency. A pure X-ray and a powerful microscope scan the leaves and branches.

    The claim that this is the first time that gold particles (微粒) have been found in living material might not be true, though. Ancient Chinese wisdom understood the connection between plants and the precious stones and minerals underneath them. They used plant life to find minerals and that was thousands of years ago. In the Zhou Dynasty, it was written in a book that a certain plant grew only near deposits of gold. Over the next 2,000 years, Chinese people wrote about different plants and how they grew, showed where minerals and precious stones such as jade, copper, lead, silver and gold were.

    Even more importantly, in the 1, 000s, Su Song described how copper, gold, silver, lead and tin were observed and taken from certain plants. These were amazing scientific discoveries. Meanwhile, this knowledge was unknown in the rest of the world until about 1, 600. This was when a British man realised that oak trees grew larger and greener where there was alum (明矾) in the ground. Maybe ancient Chinese has more knowledge to teach modern scientists.