Many parents have learned the hard way that what sounds like open communication is often the very thing that closes a youngster's ears and month. One common mistake is The Lecture, the long monologue that often starts with “When I was your age….” Eighteen-year-old Kelly calls lectures “long, one-side discussions in which I don't say much.”

    Kids reflexively（条件反射地） shut down in the face of a lecture. Their eyes glaze over(呆滞), and they don't register any incoming information. Listen to 13-year-old Sarah describe her least favorite times with her mom and dad. “First, they scream. Then comes the ‘We're so disappointed' speech. Then the ‘I never did that to my parents' lecture begins. After that, even if they realize how ridiculous they sound, they never take it back.”

    Lines like “When you have children of your own, you'll understand” have been seriously said by parents since time immemorial. But many of our expert parents, like Bobby, a registered nurse and mother of three, feel that by falling back on clichés（陈词滥调） to justify our actions, we weaken our position.

    Since kids are creatures of the here and now, the far-off future has no relevance to them. Therefore, good communicators like Bobby suggest, “Give specific reasons for your actions in present language: ‘I'm not letting you go to the party because I don't think there will be enough adult supervisions（监护）.'”

    Betty, who lives in Missiouri, uses an indirect approach. “I find that warnings are accepted more readily if I discuss a news article on a subject I am concerned about. My husband and I talk about it while our children absorb the information. Then they never think I'm preaching.”

    This really helped when Betty's kids began driving. Instead of constantly repeating “Don't drink; don't speed,” she would talk about articles in the paper and express sympathy for the victims of a car crash. Betty made no special effort to draw her kids into the conversation. She depended on a teen-ager's strong desire to put in his opinions-especially if he thinks he isn't being asked for them.

    University Room Regulations

    Approved and Prohibited Items

    The following items are approved for use in residential (住宿的) rooms: electric blankets, hair dryers, personal computers, radios, televisions and DVD players. Items that are not allowed in student rooms include: candles, ceiling fans, fireworks, waterbeds, sun lamps and wireless routers. Please note that any prohibited items will be taken away by the Office of Residence Life.

    Access to Residential Rooms

    Students are provided with a combination (组合密码) for their room door locks upon check-in. Do not share your room door lock combination with anyone. The Office of Residence Life may change the door lock combination at any time at the expense of the resident if it is found that the student has shared the combination with others. The fee is $25 to change a room combination.

    Cooking Policy

    Students living in buildings that have kitchens are only permitted to cook in the kitchen. Students must clean up after cooking. This is not the responsibility of housekeeping staff. Kitchens that are not kept clean may be closed for use. With the exception of using a small microwave oven (微波炉) to heat food, students are not permitted to cook in their rooms.

    Pet Policy

    No pets except fish are permitted in student rooms. Students who are found with pets, whether visiting or owned by the student, are subject to an initial fine of $100 and a continuing fine of $50 a day per pet. Students receive written notice when the fine goes into effect. If, one week from the date of written notice, the pet is not removed, the student is referred to the Student Court.

    Quiet Hours

    Residential buildings must maintain an atmosphere that supports the academic mission of the University. Minimum quiet hours in all campus residences are 11:00 pm to 8:00 am Sunday through Thursday. Quiet hours on Friday and Saturday nights are 1:00 am to 8:00 am. Students who violate quiet hours are subject to a fine of $25.

    While it's always a good time to visit Disneyland, there are times during the year that are better than others. Holidays, school schedules and yearly passholders greatly affect Disneyland's schedule. For example, Disneyland has a large number of locals. Many of those locals are yearly passholders, who think of the fantasy amusement park as their second home. They pop in for a few hours here or there — maybe on a weekday, or on a spring or fall Sunday morning before heading to the beach.

    Since the Happiest Place on Earth can be also one of the Busiest Places on Earth, it's helpful to have some tips in play when you hit the park. Here, we're outlining the best times to visit Disneyland in 2018.

    Weekdays in January (minus the week of New Year's Day)

    Weekdays in February (minus the days around President's Day)

    The first few days in March (until March 9, 2018)

    Weekdays in the second half of April 2018

    Weekdays in May

    The last two weeks of August

    The first half of September

    Mondays through Thursdays in November (minus the week of Thanksgiving)

    Mondays through Thursday during the first half of December

    If you're planning a visit, but don't see your particular dates here, click the comments below. We will be happy to provide answers. And our Disneyland Crowd Calendar is also available on line. It is a helpful tool to help you get an idea of expected crowds in advance.

    There is a lake near a forest in Sweden. The water in lake is very clear and everything is quiet and still. On the far side of the water is some farmlands and further away, across the fields, is an old church built on a hill. It has just stopped raining. The brook flowing into the lake is full and there is still some half-melted snow from last winter on the ground.

    The reason the water is so clear and everything is so quiet and still, is that most of the plant and animal life in and around the lake is died. There are no birds because all the fish and insects, which the birds need for food, have disappeared. Many trees in the forest are losing their leaves and bark, and are sick and dying. Others were blown down by the high winds of last winter. A farmer is working in a field planting something, but unless he plants a stronger kind of seed this year, the crop will be between 25 to 40 percent lower than a few years ago. The stones of the old church tower are turning to power and unless the tower is repaired soon, it will fall down.

    The smoke coming out of factories and poisonous gases from cars and trucks causes all the death and destruction in this place. And yet this silent lake is hundreds of kilometers away from the nearest factory and highways.

    Whenever we see a button (按钮), we are eager to press it because we know something will happen. This is true in most cases, for example on a doorbell and on the “on/off” button on the TV. But some buttons are actually fake, like the “close” button on a lift.

    Many people are in the habit of pressing the “close” button because they don't have the patience to wait for the lift doors to shut. But lifts'" close" buttons are a complete scam, at least in the US—the doors will not close any faster no matter how hard you press.

    It started in the 1990s when the Americans with Disabilities Act was passed in the US, making sure that all lifts stayed open long enough so that people with disabilities could enter. Only US firefighters and repairmen can use the buttons to speed up the door-closing process if they have a code or special keys.

    But to normal lift riders, the buttons aren't completely useless. According to psychologists, fake buttons can actually make you feel better by offering you a sense of control.

    “Perceived (能够感知的) control is very important. It reduces stress and increases well-being," Ellen J. Langer, a psychology professor, said, “Having a lack of control is associated with depression.”

    Experts have revealed that a lot of buttons that don't do anything exist in our lives for this same purpose. For example  many offices in the US have fake thermostats (温度调节器) because people tend to feel better when they think they can control the temperature in their workspace.

    But psychologists found it interesting that even when people are aware of these little "white lies", they still continue to push fake buttons because as long as the doors eventually close, it is considered to be worth the effort.

    "That habit is here to stay," John Kounios, a psychology professor, said, ''Even though I have real doubts about the traffic light buttons, I always press them. After all, I've got nothing else to do while waiting. So why not press the button in the hope that this one will work?”

    About a month after I joined Facebook, I got a call from Lori Goler, a highly regarded senior director of marketing at eBay. She made it clear this was a business call. "I want to apply to work with you at Facebook," she said. "Instead of recommending myself, I want to ask you: What is your biggest problem, and how can I solve it?"

    My jaw hit the floor. I had hired thousands of people over the previous decade and no one had ever said anything remotely like that. People usually focus on finding the right role for themselves, with the implication that their skills will help the company. Lori put Facebook's needs front and center. It was a killer approach. I responded, "Recruiting is my biggest problem. And, yes, you can solve it."

    Lori never dreamed she would work in recruiting, but she jumped in. She even agreed to trade earnings for acquiring new skills in a new field. Lori did a great job running recruiting and within months was promoted to her current job, leading People@Facebook.

    The most common metaphor for careers is a ladder, but this concept no longer applies to most workers. As of 2010, the average American had eleven jobs from the ages of eighteen to forty-six alone. Lori often quotes Pattie Sellers, who came up with a much better metaphor: "Careers are a jungle gym, not a ladder."

    As Lori describes it, there's only one way to get to the top of a ladder, but there are many ways to get to the top of a jungle gym. The jungle gym model benefits everyone, but especially women who might be starting careers, switching careers, getting blocked by external barriers, or reentering the workforce after taking time off. The ability to create a unique path with occasional dips, detours (弯路), and even dead ends presents great views of many people, not just those at the top. On a ladder, most climbers are stuck staring at the butt of the person above.