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The phone ID flashed,“Emergency Vet”.“ Oh no” I whispered. I could not lose Merlin
now.
Ron and I had tried to have children for a long time with
depressing results. I threw myself into my work. Any maternal feelings I had
were spent on Merlin.
I couldn't wait to get home from work each night. I wanted
to pick up that warm bundle of loving fur and nestle him. I wanted to sing “Rock-a-bye Merlin”,as I did every night as he would put
his paws around my neck.
Merlin was my comfort especially at times when I wondered if
God was listening. But last night something had changed. Not only did I sing “Rock-a-Bye M1erlin”,but I asked, you 're
gone?”
Although Merlin was 19 years old, a senior in the· age of a
cat, he didn't look or act that way. I didn't want to accept the fact that he
was nearing the end of his lifetime. My job at the law firm was so demanding
and stressful that I couldn't imagine getting through the day without Merlin
waiting to greet me at home.
I dialed the vet's number. I asked for my husband but he
already left. Then I took a breath and asked the question that no one wants to
ask,“Is
my Merlin still alive?”The nurse said“ yes.”
Ron came home and said that Merlin had almost no red blood
cells left. White blood cells were replacing them. Merlin would need expensive
transfusions most likely on a monthly basis. We both knew Merlin was running
out of time. I asked Ron to drive me to the vet so I could say goodbye to my
little boy cat but he was beat tired and it was late. Ron said if Merlin was
still alive he next morning then he would take me to the vet.
The next morning I called the vet. Merlin had survived the night. After
driving to the vet, I went into the examining room. The nurse brought Merlin
and placed him on an examining table on his side. His eyes were tightly shut. I
thought he died already. I carefully edged my hand to reach his body. His body
felt warm, but when I spoke his name there was no response. No response to his
name or that I was there and that I loved him. I was extremely sad. In that
examining room I felt helpless. I wondered how many people in an examining room
felt as helpless as I did. Feeling driven to prayer I yelled, “God this isn't good enough. I need to
see my Merlin the way I remember him, I need a miracle and I need it now!”
At that moment, God granted a miracle. Merlin's favorite
compliment entered my mind. I said, “Merlin, you are beautiful and you are
gorgeous, do you hear me?”
One eye opened.
I said “Gotcha”. I kept repeating those words.
Merlin opened the other eye and, one limb at a time, got up.
He was waiting for that phrase. He wanted to hear that he was beautiful and
gorgeous again.
Then I experienced another miracle.
There was no sound in that examining room until Merlin started
walking to me. From out of nowhere, or maybe from heaven, I clearly heard a
song we sung in church often: “It Is Well With My Soul.” I remember叫thinking,“Yes, it is well with my soul. I got to
see my little boy cat one more time.”
Merlin walked to me. He put his face in mine, which he had
never done before. He rubbed a circle around my face twice. Merlin said goodbye
with his face and marked me for life.
Ron appeared shocked that Merlin was up and had walked to
me. I said to Merlin,“Tell God you are a good boy and how
much we love you”and then handed him back to the nurse.
Tears of gratitude poured forth in memory of a miracle. You
see for nineteen years God spoke to me through a special cat named granted a
miracle. That miracle gave me time to say goodbye.