“Do you have any idea how hard it is to be a kid?!” My 7-year-old once asked me. My initial reaction to her complaint (抱怨) was eye-rolling, along with thinking, “Being a kid is hard? Are you kidding me?” as I mentally counted all the hard things that her grown-up mama did.

    However, as I thought about it a bit more, I realized how silly my reaction had been. Yes, as we adults look back on our childhood, being a kid seems carefree and easy and full of fun. Coloring at school! Playing games! Riding bikes! How could that be hard? So I asked my daughter why being a kid was so hard.

    “Well, because you don't have your own phone, and you can't eat in the living room,” she said.

     I asked if anything else was hard about being a kid. “Someone else is the boss of you,” she replied.

    I thought some more. What else is hard about being a kid? Well, sometimes, we don't really take kids seriously.

    There are times when I've responded to my children's tears with “It's not bad,” or “You don't need to be upset about that.” Because I believe that a cancelled playdate or a lost toy is no big deal. But for my little ones, it is.

    We don't intentionally ignore these opportunities for connection, but sometimes, in busy moments of parenting, we respond unskillfully. We don't put ourselves in our children's shoes, and we miss an opportunity to practice compassion.

    Compassion means “to feel with” or “to suffer with” another person. It means seeing something the way they do, and experiencing it with them.

    Here's what I've learned about being a more compassionate parent, and I hope other parents can do the same thing.

A typical school day in the UK starts around 8:30 am. This is often even earlier elsewhere in the world, with students sitting down to their first lesson at 7:30 am in the US. The average teenager ideally needs eight to nine hours' sleep each night, but in reality a lot of teenagers struggle to get this much. A lot of the problems arise because our sleep patterns are not fixed, and they change as we grow.

So a later school start time could help to solve this problem, by ensuring to get their eight plus hours of sleep and react properly to their body's natural rhythms (规律). There has been a general shift over the past 25 years to shorten the school day. This is not at the cost of teaching time (which has remained constant) but at the cost of natural breaks, which has led to reduced lunch time and lesson breaks.

Later start times could help teens' grades and health. This is mainly because it makes the management of children easier. Supervising (监管) hundreds of children “playing” requires effective staffing (人员配备). And there is always the fear that behavior worsens during breaks. So the theory goes that having them in class and strictly supervised must be better.

    But this means that students barely have enough time to absorb what they were doing in maths before suddenly they are thrust into ancient history. And teaching staff also transit from one class to another, with hardly a rest or time to refocus.

    Clearly rethinking the school day could benefit everyone involved. Anyway, it could also lead to better achievement in teenagers and less of a struggle for parents in the mornings. For teachers, it could also mean a less stressful day all around and what could be better than that?

    It seems that the great desire among the young is to be popular. The desire to be popular can force you into looking and acting like everyone else. You can lose yourself in a sea of identical hairstyles and thinking styles.

    I was forced to think about popularity not too long ago in a talk I had with my daughter. Margy had to change schools when my busy work schedule made it necessary for me to move houses. I suppose that，for a girl in her teens，entering a new school is like spending a season alone in the tropical jungles. At least that's how Margy found it at first. However，as the school year drew to a close，one student after another came to her.I told Margy that I would have been more concerned if she had been an instant social success in her new school. Nobody can please everyone. If you try to do so，you will find values as lasting as soap bubbles blown into the air.

    Some teenagers claim they want to dress as they please. But they all wear the same clothes. They set off in new directions in music. But somehow they all end up listening to the same record. Their reason for thinking or acting in a certain way is that the crowd is doing it. They have come out of their cocoon into a larger cocoon.

    I know that it has become harder for a young person to stand up against the popularity wave. Our way of life makes a young nonconformist stand out like a Martian. These days there's a great barrier for the young person who wants to find his or her own path. But the barrier is worth climbing over. You may want to listen to classical music instead of going to a party. Well，go to it. Be yourself .Popularity will come with the people who respect you for who you are. That's the only kind of popularity that really counts.

B

    In the 1760s, Mathurin Roze opened a series of shops that boasted(享有）a special meat soup called consomme. Although the main attraction was the soup, Roze's chain shops also set a new standard for dining out, which helped to establish Roze as the inventor of the modern restaurant.

    Today, scholars have generated large amounts of instructive research about restaurants. Take visual hints that influence what we eat: diners served themselves about 20 percent more pasta(意大利面食）when their plates matched their food.  When a dark-colored cake was served on a black plate rather than a white one, customers recognized it as sweeter and more tasty.

    Lighting matters, too. When Berlin restaurant customers ate in darkness, they couldn't tell how much they'd had: those given extra-large shares ate more than everyone else, but were none the wiser—they didn't feel fuller, and they were just as ready for dessert.

    Time is money, but that principle means different things for different types of restaurants. Unlike fast-food places, fine dining shops prefer customers to stay longer and spend. One way to encourage customers to stay and order that extra round: put on some Mozart(莫扎特）.When classical, rather than pop, music was playing, diners spent more. Fast music hurried diners out. Particular scents also have an effect: diners who got the scent of lavender(薰衣草）stayed longer and spent more than those who smelled lemon, or no scent.

    Meanwhile, things that you might expect to discourage spending—"bad" tables, crowding, high prices — don't necessarily. Diners at bad tables — next to the kitchen door, say — spent nearly as much as others but soon fled. It can be concluded that restaurant keepers need not "be overly concerned about 'bad' tables," given that they're profitable. As for crowds, a Hong Kong study found that they increased a restaurant's reputation, suggesting great food at fair prices. And doubling a buffet's price led customers to say that its pizza was 11 percent tastier.

    Alexander John Jordan was born in Madison, Wisconsin in 1914. After graduating from high school, he attended the University of Wisconsin. After about one year of college, Alex dropped out.

    Alex then went from job to job. He drove a taxi and worked for Royavac. He also worked for his father's construction company, where Alex got his basic knowledge of construction.

    In the 1940s, Alex discovered Deer Shelter Rock and began having small picnics on the top of the rock. He then started bringing his tent and camping out. One night, his tent got blown away and from that day, Alex decided he wanted to build something more stable. That was the beginning of his dreams. Alex started off by renting the rock and a bit of land around it from a local farmer. He first built a small studio with a fireplace. Then Alex, with his parents' help, bought 240 acres of land, so he could build as he pleased. What took shape on and around Deer Shelter Rock was truly a wonderful achievement. More wonderful still is the fact that he built much of the original house by himself, carrying the materials up the 75-foot-high rock.

    As curiosity grew surrounding his project, more and more people came to visit the House on the Rock. Alex decided to charge people 50 cents to visit, thinking that would drive them away; however, people gladly paid the fee. In 1960, Alex decided to open the House on the Rock to the public. This increased the interest and the crowds grew. All of the money taken in over the years was put directly back into the House. Alex was devoted to the House on the Rock. It was his life and dream.

    When an earthquake hit a small town, many houses fell down. After the earthquake, all the newspapers reported many stories about some of the families who were in trouble.

    One Sunday, when I was reading a newspaper, a special picture touched me. It gave the clothing sizes of each family member. I thought that this would be a good chance to teach my children to help those who were less lucky than themselves. I said to my seven-year-old twins, Brad and Brett, and three-year-old Meghan, "We have so much, and these poor people now have nothing. We'll share what we have with them."

    I filled a box with foods and clothes. While I was doing this, I encouraged the boys to choose their toys and donate some of their less favorite things. Meghan watched quietly as the boys took out their old toys and games and put them together. Then she walked away. A few minutes later, she came back with Lucy, her much-loved doll. She put the doll on top of the other toys. "Oh, dear," I said. "You don't have to give Lucy. You love her so much." Meghan said, "Lucy makes me happy, Mommy. Maybe she'll make another little girl happy, too."

    I looked at Meghan for a long moment. She taught me a lesson. It's easy to give something that we don't want any more, but hard to give what we cherish(珍爱), isn't it?