Our spiritual intelligence quotient(精神智商), or SQ, helps us understand ourselves, and live fuller, happier lives.

    Though we're all born with SQ, most of us don't even realize that we have it. Fortunately, you don't have to sign up for classes to learn how to improve your SQ. Here are some simple steps that can lead you to this new level of understanding.

    Sit Quietly. The process of developing spiritual intelligence begins with solitude(独处) and silence. To tune in to your spirit, you have to turn down the volume(强度) in your busy, noisy, complicated life and force yourself to do nothing at all. Start small by creating islands for silence in your day. In the car, instead of listening to the music, use the time to think. At work, shut the door to your office between meetings, take a few breaths and let them out very, very slowly. Enjoy the stillness in your home after the kids are finally in bed.

    Step Outside. For many people, nature sets their spirit free. Go outside to watch a beautiful sunset. If you are walking with the dog, take the time to admire flowers in bloom; follow the flight of a bird and watch clouds float overhead.

    Ask Questions of Yourself. Ask open-ended questions, such as ‘What am I Feeling? What are my choices? Where am I heading?'

    But don't expect an answer to arrive through some supernatural forms of e-mail. ‘Rarely do I get an immediate answer to my question,' says Reverend Joan Carter, a Presbyterian minister in Sausalito, California. ‘But later that day I suddenly find myself thinking about a problem in a perspective(角度) I never considered before.'

    Trust Your Spirit. While most of us rely on gut(本能的) feeling to realize danger, spiritual intelligence pushes us, not away from, but towards some action that will lead to a greater good.

    Once, Buddha was walking from one town to another with some of his followers. This was in the initial days. While they were traveling, they happened to pass a lake. They stopped there and Buddha told one of his followers, “I am thirsty. Please get me some water from that lake there”.

The follower walked up to the lake. When he reached it, he noticed that some people were washing clothes in the water and, right at that moment, a bullock cart started crossing the lake right at the edge of it. As a result, the water became very muddy, very dirty. The follower thought, “How can I give this muddy water to Buddha to drink?!” So he came back and told the Buddha, “The water in there is very muddy. I don't think it is fit to drink”.

    So, the Buddha said, let us take a little rest here by the tree. After about half an hour, again Buddha asked the same follower to go back to the lake and get him some water to drink. The follower obediently (顺从地) went back to the lake. This time he found that the lake had absolutely clear water in it. The mud had settled down and the water above it looked fit to be had. So he collected some water in a pot and brought it to the Buddha.

The Buddha looked at the water, and then he looked up at the follower and said, “See, you let the water be and the mud settled down on its own. You got clear water. It didn't require any effort”.

Our mind is also like that. When it is disturbed, just let it be. Give it a little time and it will settle down on its own. You don't have to put in any effort to calm it down. We can judge and best decisions of our life when we stay calm.

    Hilary Smith belonged to a good family. But by the age of twenty, he had spent all the money the good old family had. He then had some trouble with the bank and was put in prison. He escaped from the prison and ran to Australia without delay.

    Hilary did not like Australia and Australia did not like Hilary. What he could do seemed to be one of two things: die or work. Then he remembered that he was not alone in the world. He had an aunt.

    She was his father's only sister, but his father used to say she brought no glory to the family. Hilary, of course, tried to discover what she had done. It seemed that she had failed to marry a nobleman. Instead, she had chosen a husband who was connected with "trade". Of course as soon as she became "Mrs. Parks", her brother considered her dead. Later on, Mr. Parks died and left her a lot of money; but that did not bring her back to life in her brother's opinion.

    Hilary discovered his aunt's address. Fortunately she remained faithful and honest to him even after she fell ill. So Hilary's star shone again, and soon he moved into her house and lived as comfortably as a sailor who had just reached harbor. He had only about six pence in his pocket.

    One thing was soon clear: his aunt was seriously ill, and nothing could cure her illness. Hilary was very worried. Fate had found a home for him, and was now going to throw him out of it. There was only one thing that could save him: her will.

    "Will?" she said, "yes, I have made one. That was when I was a girl and had not much money. I left all my money to some religious people."

    "Didn't you make another will when you were married?" Hilary asked.

    His aunt shook her head. "No," she said in a low voice, "There was no need. When I finally had a lot of money, I found I had no relations."

    On the next day he went to the public library and examined a book of law. It told him what he already believed. When a woman is married, an earlier will loses its value. A new will must be made. If no new will is made, the money goes to the nearest relation. Hilary knew that he was his aunt's only relation. His future was safe.

    After a few months had passed, Hilary's problems became serious. He badly needed money. He had expensive tastes, and owed a lot of money to shopkeepers. They trusted him because his aunt was rich, but the debt was terrible.

    Unfortunately his aunt did not want to discuss money matters at all. In the end they had a quarrel about the small amount of ten pounds. Hilary was not very angry. He began to wonder about a new problem. Was it kind to want his aunt to live any longer? Was it not better for her to die now? While he was considering what to do, his aunt told him that she was going to send for her lawyer. So she was going to make a new will, Hilary thought. She might leave all her money to someone else. Soon he reached a clear decision. He must do a great kindness to the poor old woman.

    One night when the old servant who had been nursing his aunt went off, he doubled the amount of some medicine. The total amount was too great and it could just put her to sleep forever.

    "Thank you," his aunt took the glass from his hand with a grateful look." I want, more than anything, to sleep, and never to wake up again. Is that what you wish, Hilary? Don't blame me if I have some doubts about what you intended to do. Sick people get these ideas, you know. One thing I ought to explain to you. Mr. Parks never married me. He already had a wife and couldn't marry again. That made your foolish father very angry with me...Well, if I am alive tomorrow, I shall make another will in your favor. If I die tonight, you'll get nothing...No, Hilary, don't try to take the glass away. If you do that, I shall know and I don't want to know. Good night, Hilary."

    Then, very carefully, she raised the glass to her mouth and drank.

    Will it matter if you don't take your breakfast? Recently a test was given in the United States. Those testes included people of different ages, from 12 to 83. During the experiment, these people were given all kinds of breakfast, and sometimes they got no breakfast at all. Special tests were set up to see how well their bodies worked when they had eaten a certain kind of breakfast. The results show that if a person eats a proper breakfast, he or she will work with better effort than if he or she has no breakfast. This fact appears to be especially true if a person works with his brains. If a student eats fruit, eggs, bread and milk before going to school, he will learn more quickly and listen with more attention in class. Contrary to what many people believe, people become so hungry at noon that they eat too much for lunch, and end up gaining weight instead of losing. You will probably lose more weight if you reduce other meals.

    When we were very small, we realized that having friends was important. Some of us even had imaginary(想象中的)friends. The need for friends continued as we grew into our teens. Friends played a big part in forming our personalities(性格). As adults, it is still important for us to have friends.

    True friends are people who like us though we made mistakes and who listen to us and tell us the truth. Friends support our decisions and tell us when we're foolish. They laugh with us and share our sadness. They are our partners and share interests with us. They stimulate us when we are feeling down. They are people we aren't afraid of telling our secret wishes to or what is really on our minds.

    Friends are our supporters. When you can depend on friends, you feel safe and warm. Friends offer acceptance and emotional(情感的)support. At times, they also help with our everyday lives, cooking a meal, doing chores, or giving us a lift when we need one. Friends also are there to offer advice, an ear to listen, or a shoulder to cry on.

    Friends also help us reduce stress. Not only do they listen to us when we feel stressed, but they also discuss what is stressing us. Sharing interests and doing activities with friends help us forget about problems at work or at home. For a short time, we can lose ourselves in a pleasant activity and perhaps laugh and breathe more easily.

    I stopped to watch my little girl busy playing in her room. In one hand was a plastic phone ; in the other a toy. I listened as she was speaking to her make-believe little friend and I'll never forget the words she said, even though it was imagined.

    She said, "Suzie's in the corner because she's not been very good. She didn't listen to a word I said or do the things she should." In the corner I saw her baby doll well dressed. It was obvious that she'd been put there to sit alone and think.

    My daughter continued her "conversation", as I sat down on the floor. She said, "I'm all fed up and I just don't know what to do with her any more. She cries whenever I have to work and wants to play games too. She tries to help me with the dishes, but her arms just cannot reach... And she doesn't know how to fold towels. I don't have the time to teach. I have a lot of work to do and a big house to keep clean. I don't have the time to sit and play - don't you know what I mean?"

    And that day I thought a lot about making some changes in my life, after listening to her innocent words which cut me like a knife. I hadn't been paying enough attention to what I hold most dear. I'd been caught up in responsibilities that increased throughout the years.

    But now my attitude has changed because in my heart I realize that I've seen the world in a different light through my little darling's eyes. So let the cobwebs(蜘蛛网) cut the corners and the dust bunny rabbit rule the floor. I'm not going to worry about keeping up with them anymore.

    I'm going to fill the house with memories of a child and her mother, for we have only one childhood and we will never get another.