A new book called “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother” by Amy Chua has caused a debate (争论) about cultural differences in parenting. Amy Chua is a teacher in an American university and both of her parents are Chinese. In the book, Ms. Chua writes about how she taught her daughters. She told NBC television that she had a clear list of what her daughters were not allowed to do, such as having a play date, watching TV or playing computer games and getting any grade less than an A.

    Many people are against Amy Chua's parenting style (风格), even her husband, who is American. They say it is rude and unfair to children. But she says her parents raised her and her three sisters in that way.

    Ms. Chua says after her younger daughter shouted “I hate my life! I hate you!” she decided to retreat because she was afraid of losing her daughter. But she also says American parents often have low expectations of their children's abilities.

    “The debate is about what it means to be a successful parent and what it means to be a successful child,” said Stacy DeBroff, who has written four books on parenting. She says Amy Chua's parenting style is not limited to Chinese families. It is a traditional way of parenting among immigrants (移民). They hope to get a better future for their children.

    She also sees a risk (风险). When children have no time to be social or to develop their own interests, they might not develop other skills that they need to succeed in life. DeBroff advises parents to develop their own style of parenting and not just repeat the way they were raised.

    I'd like to share a little story with you about something that happened when I was four. I remember it clearly. Our loving family dog was nearing the end of his life. My father picked him up and put him in a little bed we had made for him. Our dog, my companion, whom we had cared for, bit my father when he attempted to help him. How could he? Why? I couldn't understand it. I didn't like him anymore.

    I hadn't thought about that story for a long time but something that happened last week brought it back to me. I went to speak with a friend. When I knocked on the door, I met in an instant an angry look and a few harsh(尖刻的)words. When the door was slammed(砰地关上)in my face, I stood there shocked, and in a rush, I was reminded of my dog bit my father 20 years ago or so. What brought that story back was that same feeling of betrayal.

    Both stories taught me something the next day. You see, when I got up in the morning and was told my dog had died, it became clear to me that he must have been in great pain. For him to have bitten a family member, he could not have been himself. Much the same for the other story when I learned that my friend's wife had just left him.

    We are all beings of our environments, our opinions and feelings. And all of those things can cause you to say and do things that can't be understood by those who are not in the same situation with you.

    If you meet someone either behaving out of character or acting in a way that doesn't seem to fit the situation, put out your hand and be patient when you think it is least possible for him to do so. You may turn around a story that has a sad ending simply by your actions.

    At first, Michael Surrell didn't see the black smoke or flames shooting from the windows of his neighbors' home. Then they got a call from one of his daughters: "The house next door is on fire!" He went over and saw three women crying madly on their porch (门廊).

    "The baby's in the second floor!" one of the women cried. Though the fire department had been called, Surrell, then 64, bravely ran inside. "The baby" was Tiara Roberts, the woman's granddaughter and a playmate of Surrell's three youngest kids.

Entering the burning house was like "running into a bucket of black paint," Surrell says. The thick smoke caused him to stumble blindly around, burned his eyes, and made it impossible to breathe. The conditions would have been dangerous for anyone, but for Surrell, who has chronic obstructive pulmonary disease(慢性阻塞性肺病), they were life-threatening.

    Taking a deep breath, he moved around in the overwhelming darkness. Because the house had a similar layout to his, he found the stairs and made it to the second floor. Then he heard a soft but clear moan. Still unable to see, Surrell fell to his knees on the hot wood floor. He crawled toward the sound, feeling around for any sign of the girl. Finally, he touched something. A shoe, then an ankle. He pulled Tiara toward him, scooped her into his arms and stood. Turning, he fought through the smoke and ran blindly into the blackness…

    Surrell woke up in the hospital a couple of days later and spent over a week in the hospital. Tiara was released from the hospital after a few days. The fire worsened Surrell's pulmonary condition, and he feels the effects even two years later. As a result, he takes extra medication that helps open his airways. "It's a small price to pay," he says. "I'd do it again in a heartbeat. I wouldn't give it a second thought."

    Sometimes just when we need the power of miracles to change our beliefs, they materialize in the places we'd least expect. They can come to us as a great change in our physical reality or as a simple coincidence in our lives. Sometimes they're big and can't be missed. Other times they're so subtle that if we aren't aware, we may miss them altogether. They can come from the lips of a stranger we suddenly and mysteriously meet at just the right instant. If we listen carefully, we'll always hear the right words, at the right time, to dazzle (目眩) us into a realization of something that we may have failed to notice only moments before.

    On a cold January afternoon in 1989, I was hiking up the trail that leads to the top of Egypt's Mt. Horeb. I'd spent the day at St. Catherine's Monastery and wanted to get to the peak by sunset to see the valley below. As I was winding up the narrow path, I'd occasionally see other hikers who were coming down from a day on the mountain. While they would generally pass with simply a nod or a greeting in another language, there was one man that day who did neither.

    I saw him coming from the last switchback on the trail that led to the backside of the mountain. As he got closer, I could see that he was dressed differently from the other hikers I'd seen. Rather than the high-tech fabrics and styles that had been the norm, this man was wearing traditional Egyptian clothing. He wore a tattered, rust-colored galabia and obviously old and thick-soled sandals that were covered in dust. What made his appearance so odd, though, was that the man didn't even appear to be Egyptian! He was a small-framed Asian man, had very little hair, and was wearing round, wire-rimmed glasses.

    As we neared one another, I was the first to speak, "Hello," I said, stopping on the trail for a moment to catch my breath. Not a sound came from the man as he walked closer. I thought that maybe he hadn't heard me or the wind had carried my voice away from him in another direction. Suddenly he stopped directly in front of me on the high side of the trail, looked up from the ground, and spoke a single sentence to me in English, "Sometimes you don't know what you have lost until you've lost it." As I took in what I had just heard, he simply stepped around me and continued his going down the trail.

    That moment in my life was a small miracle. The reason is less about what the man said and more about the timing and the context. The year was 1989, and the Cold War was drawing to a close. what the man on the trail couldn't have known is that it was during my Egyptian pilgrimage (朝圣), and specifically during my hike to the top of Moses's mountain, that I'd set the time aside to make decisions that would affect my career in the defense industry, my friends, my family, and, ultimately, my life.

    I had to ask myself what the chances were of an Asian man dressed in an Egyptian galabia coming down from the top of this historic mountain just when I was walking up, stopping before me, and offering his wisdom, seemingly from out of nowhere. My answer to my own question was easy: the odds were slim to none! In a meet that lasted less than two minutes on a mountain halfway around the world from my home, a total stranger had brought clarity and the hint of a warning, regarding the huge changes that I would make within a matter of days. In my way of thinking, that's a miracle.

    I suspect that we all experience small miracles in our lives every day. Sometimes we have the wisdom and the courage to recognize them for what they are In the moments when we don't, that's okay as well. It seems that our miracles have a way of coming back to us again and again. And each time they do, they become a little less subtle, until we can't possibly miss the message that they bring to our lives!

    The key is that they're everywhere and occur every day for different reasons, in response to the different needs that we may have in the moment. Our job may be less about questioning the extraordinary things that happen in our daily lives and more about accepting the gifts they bring.

    Feel nervous on the first day of school? You are not alone! Here is some advice on how to make you feel comfortable.

    Get ready the night before. Plan out what you're going to wear and what you will need for class. Then get a nice, long sleep. There's nothing worse than looking terrible on the first day of school. If you don't want to oversleep, set an alarm on your phone, or alarm clock to wake you up on time.

    Eat a good breakfast. You'd be surprised at how much happier and more focused you'll be after eating a good breakfast. Have a healthy breakfast. A rich breakfast may make you feel lazy and sugar rich foods may affect your ability to stay focused.

    Decide whether to take the bus, walk, or have a ride from your parents. It's your call. If you want something familiar, take a bus ride and sit next to someone you already know. However, if you are really nervous, you can ask your mom or dad to drive you to school, but expect that there will be heavy traffic.

    Smile and be friendly! You want to seem easy to get along with and that you had the best summer. Smile and be friendly. Instead of coming up as a boring person, compliment people. Everyone needs a little confidence and is happy when praised on the first day of school.

There's a useful concept from psychology that helps explain why good people do things that harm the environment: the false consensus effect. That's where we overvalue how acceptable and prevalent（普遍的） our own behavior is in society. Put simply, if you're doing something （even if you secretly know you probably shouldn't）, you're more likely to think plenty of other people do it too. What's more, you likely overestimate how much other people think that behavior is broadly OK.

This bias（偏见） allows people to justify socially unacceptable or illegal behaviors. Researchers have observed the false consensus effect in drug use and illegal hunting. More recently, conservationists are beginning to reveal how this effect contributes to environmental damage.

In Australia, people who admitted to poaching（偷猎） thought it was much more prevalent in society than it really was, and had higher estimates than fishers who obeyed the law. They also believed others viewed poaching as socially acceptable; however, in reality, more than 90% of fishers held the opposite view. The false consensus effect has also shown up in studies examining support for nuclear energy and offshore wind farms.

Just as concepts from psychology can help explain some forms of environmental damage, so too can they help address it. For example, research shows people are more likely to litter in areas where there's already a-lot of trash scattered around; so making sure the ground around a bin is not covered in rubbish may help.

Factual information on how other people think and behave can be very powerful. Energy companies have substantially reduced energy consumption simply by showing people how their electricity use compares to their neighbors. Encouragingly, stimulating people's natural desire for status has also been successful in getting people to "go green to be seen", or to publicly buy eco-friendly products.

As the research evidence shows, social norms can be a powerful force in encouraging and popularizing environmentally friendly behaviors. Perhaps you can do your bit by sharing this article!