Choose the
one that fits best according to the information given in the passage you have
just read.
After I was married and had lived in Japan for while, my Japanese
gradually improved to the point where I could take part in simple conversations
with my husband and his friends and family. And I began to notice that often,
when I joined in, the others would look surprised, and the conversational topic
would come to a stop. After this happened several times, it became clear to me
that I was doing something wrong. But for a long time, I didn't know what it
was.
Finally, after listening carefully to many Japanese conversations, I
discovered what my problem was. Even though I was speaking Japanese, I was
handling the conversation in a Western way.
A Western-style conversation between two people is like a game of
tennis. If I introduce a topic, a conversational ball, I expect you to hit it
back. If you agree with me, I don't expect you simply to agree and do nothing
more. I expect you to add something-a reason for agreeing, another example, or
a detailed explanation to carry the idea further. But I don't expect you always
to agree. I am just as happy if you question me, or challenge me, or completely
disagree with me. Whether you agree or disagree, your response will return the ball
to me.
A Japanese-style conversation, however, is not at all like tennis or
volleyball. It's like bowling. You wait for your turn. And you always know your
place in line. It depends on such things as whether you are older or younger, a
close friend or a relative stranger to the previous speaker, in a senior or
junior position, and so on.
When your turn comes, you step up to the starting line with your bowling
ball and carefully bowl it. Everyone else stands back and watches politely,
murmuring encouragement. Everyone waits until the ball has reached the end of
the alley（球场）and
watches to see if it knocks down all the pins, or only some of them, or none of
them. There is a pause, while everyone registers your score.
Then, after everyone is sure that you have completely finished your
turn, the next person in line steps up to the same starting line, with a
different ball. He doesn't return your ball, and he does not begin from where
your ball stopped. And there is always a suitable pause between turns. There is
no rush, no scramble for the ball.
If you have been trained all your life to play one game, it is no simple
matter to switch to another, even if you know the rules. Knowing the rules is
not at all the same thing as playing the game.
