How to Fix a Relationship

    If you're having a problem with your relationship, you're not alone. {#blank#}1{#/blank#} However, you can make it work out if you decide to work together to fix it.

    Recognize the problems. Any number of problems could do harm to your relationship. You should look for signs and symptoms of the problems you're facing. Listening attentively is the key, which can help you understand what he or she is feeling. {#blank#}2{#/blank#} Actually think about what the person is saying, and maybe try to understand what is behind the words, as well. You also have a right to discuss what you're feeling and thinking. The key is to keep a calm head. {#blank#}3{#/blank#} Once you've figured out what your problems are together, have a conversation to find ways to solve them. How can you solve the problems in a way that both of you can live with? {#blank#}4{#/blank#} Start with the place you both agree on. Maybe you can both agree on the problem at least, or maybe you can agree on the first step to the solution. For instance, maybe you agree that you are feeling disconnected. Maybe you can take it one step further and agree that you need to spend more time together.

    Make a plan together. Once you've agreed to solutions, it's time to put them into concrete terms. For instance, if you both agree you need to spend more time together, then maybe the agreement will be that you should make a date at least once a week.

    Find ways to compromise. The key to any relationship is learning to compromise. {#blank#}5{#/blank#} Compromising is about finding common ground, and both of you giving in a little on the issue.

A. Spend time connecting.

B. Talk about solutions together.

C. Don't just let the words pass over you.

D. In other words, you need to look for common ground.

E. Most people have trouble with relationships at one point or another.

F. You can't just expect to win every argument, as relationships need to give and take.

G. Whatever you need to do, take a few minutes to calm down before continuing the discussion.

    When I was eight, I saw a movie about an island that had an erupting volcano and jungles filled with wild animals. The island was ruled by a beautiful woman called Tondalaya, the Fire Goddess of the Volcano. It was a low-budget(小成本) movie, but to me, it represented the perfect life. But through the years, Tondalaya was forgotten.

    The week I turned 50, my marriage came to a sudden end. My house, furniture and everything I'd owned was sold to pay debts that I didn't even know existed. In a week I had lost my husband, my home and my parents who had refused to accept a divorce (离婚) in the family. I'd lost everything except my four teenage children. I used every penny I had to buy five plane tickets from Missouri to Hawaii. Everyone said I was crazy to think I could just run off to an island and survive. I was afraid they were right.

    I worked 18 hours a day and lost 30 pounds because I lived on one meal a day. One night as I walked alone on the beach, I saw the red orange lava (火山岩) pouring out of Kilauea Volcano in the distance. It was time to live my imagination!

    The next day, I quit my job, bought some art supplies and began doing what I loved. I hadn't painted a picture in 15 years. I wondered if I could still paint. My hands trembled the first time I picked up a brush. But before an hour had passed, I was lost in the colors spreading across the canvas (画布) in front of me. And as soon as I started believing in myself, other people started believing in me, too. The first painting sold for $1,500.

    The past six years have been filled with adventures. My children and I have gone swimming with dolphins, watched whales and hiked around the crater rim (火山口边缘) of the volcano. We wake up every morning with the ocean in front of us and the volcano behind us. The dream I had more than 40 years is now reality. I'm living freely and happily ever after.

    Now is the best time for Hong Kong shopping lovers, as most shops and markets are having their seasonal sales. With the same amount of money, you can find different kinds of goods in this city. Women, young and old, rarely resist the attraction of this shopping paradise(乐园) at this time of year. Lovers will surely have an exciting Christmas and New year's Eve celebrations at the Time Square or in the western styled bars. Spending your holiday in Hong Kong will be easy too, as several packing tours are available from CZL Travel Service, with four-day tours for less than 15,000 yuan.

    Tour package 1(3,200 yuan): a 4-day-tour including three nights' accommodation(住宿), science helicopter flight, night ferry tour of Victoria Harbor and shuttle bus to the park to view the city at night.

    Tour package 2(1,880yuan): a 4-day-shopping tour including three nights' accommodation, tour to Golden Beach and the Vex work Museum, shuttle bus to the Peak and shopping opportunities.

    Tour package 3 (1,480 yuan): a 4-day-DIY-tour including three nights' accommodation in a four-star hotel and total freedom to do what you want, when you went.

    It is a popular Internet thing to focus on the upside of being in your 30s, and it is nice to know how to do basic modern-human-being things like paying your taxes and cooking a simple meal. But it can be a less-encouraging story at work: People in their late 20s to early 40s tend to report lower levels of job satisfaction and higher levels of emotional exhaustion than other age groups, according to new research.

    There's an obvious reason: These tend to be the ages when people have young children at home, and the researchers did find that this group reported feeling increasingly crunched for time. But adding to that pressure, coworker support also tends to decline at this age. Some researchers interpret the findings:

    Support from co-workers probably decreases in midlife as peers compete for limited resources（promotion bottlenecks are often encountered during this career stage. Also, whereas younger co-workers are often hungry to make up new social networks, and older workers seek identity-affirming work experiences in their remaining tenure（任期）, mid lifers find it demanding enough just to maintain existing social networks. Meanwhile, time pressure likely increases as colleagues are all trying to enrich their own knowledge and experience.

    But the good news is that after about a decade of struggle, things start to pick back up again. Occupational psychologists say that happiness at work recovers when people reach their 40s, and that people in their 50s are more satisfied with their jobs than any other age group. Hang in there, 30-somethings-soon you will be older, but at least work will meet less frustration（挫折）!

    Think plants are just boring green things that you use for food and decoration? Think again! Plants are able to do some pretty awesome things that you're probably totally unaware of.

    Researchers have discovered that plants have the ability to communicate with an underground network made up of fungus (真菌) , which serves the plants in many ways. Tomato plants use the fungus web to warn each other of their own unhealthy conditions. Trees connected through the fungus network could move nutrients (养分) to and from each other. It is believed that larger trees move nutrients to smaller ones to help them to survive.

    Not only that, but they can also damage unwelcome plants by spreading poisonous chemicals through the fungus. It sounds like the plant world had the Internet before we did.

    Some plants have a rather impressive line of defense against being eaten. When sensing they are being swallowed, they give off a chemical into the air that attracts the insect's natural enemy. The enemy attacks the bug, thus saving the plants. This is basically the plant kingdom version of getting your older brother to beat up that kid who steals your lunch money.

    You might be aware that humans and animals have an internal clock. But did you know that plants also have this clock? This means they can prepare for certain times of day just like we do. Is it because they can react to light at sunrise? In a study, scientists found that plants use the sugars they produce to keep time, which help to regulate the genes responsible for the plant's own internal clock. So, in a sense, wake up with petunias (矮牵牛) is just as valid as ―wake up with the chickens.

    Nature is full of surprises. So for those of you who didn't know the wonders of plants, now you do.

    Finding a friend doesn't seem like a difficult job. However, bad friends are easier to find than good friends these days. If you're sitting there and wondering if you have a bad friend, let me define it for you.

    A bad friend is someone whose jealousies and insecurities outweigh their love for someone. They might want to be a good friend but they're too messed up in their own head to ever actually do it. They wonder if their friends are going out without them or if they're being forgotten and left behind. People who are violently insecure don't have what it takes to be the quality of a friend.

    Bad friends are narcissistic(自恋的). They look for any opportunity to bring the conversation back to them. Worse, they might not even be aware that they're doing it. In their mind, they might think they are the best friend ever, which is truly frightening.

    Bad friends are quick-change. They're by your side when you're fun and you have something to give them but as soon as you're going through a difficult time, they will become indifferent quickly. They won't bring you cold medicine. They won't give you a ride to the doctor, everything they do is self-serving.

    If you find a friend who has these same characteristics, send them to your bad friend list immediately. Your friends are supposed to be the solution to your problems, not the source.

    I believe your twenties are a time when you need positive and helpful friends. In such a time, friendships aren't easy to maintain like they once were in school. Now we actually have to put work into it, we have to make a conscious effort to keep the friendship going. You need to ask yourself, "Is this person worth it? Do they treat me like a fool or what?" if you have doubts, try to make them clear by considering the past experiences. Toxic(有毒的) friendships do nothing but drag you down. My point is that you have to take care of yourself and stop getting in touch with your bad friends. Only surround yourself with people who bring out the best qualities in you. It may sound cruel but it's true.