On the eve of our daughters' weddings, I gave both of them what Iconsidered to be excellent marital advice: never leave your husband unsupervised(无人监督的) with pruning shears (修枝剪).

If only I had taken my own advice. I recently let my guard down. Thirty-some years of marriage can do that toa woman. Give a man pruning shears and electric trimmers (电动修剪器) and he will givenew meaning to “armed and dangerous.”

One day earlier this year, my husband saidthat the crab apple tree was dead.

“Why do you think it is dead?” I asked.

“Look at it. There's not a leaf on it.”

“There's not a leaf on anything. It'sMarch,” I said.

“It looked sick last fall and with thisbitter winter we had, I'm convinced it's dead.”

The truth is he's never liked thecrabapple. Sure, it has beautiful blooms in the spring, but then it gets adisease, the leaves curl, and it drops those little apples that sit on thedriveway.

Each passing week he pronounced the treedead. Eventually I began to believe him. Though he agreed it would be aregrettable loss, there was a twinkle in his eye. He armed himself a couple ofweeks ago and began trimming. A branch here, a branch there, a small limb, thena large limb. I watched and then decided to check the wood on some of thebranches closer to the trunk. I broke one off and saw green.

The crabapple was not dead. It just hadn'thad time to leaf out. The tree was now falling to one side, but it was notdead. I would have told him so, but he had moved on to a maple. Once the manstarts, he can't stop. One trim leads to another.

“Please, stop!” I called.

He smiled and nodded, but he couldn't hearbecause he had started the hedge (树篱) trimmers and was getting ready to fix a line of hedges.

Zip (飕飕声), zip, zip.

“What do you think?” he shouted.

“It's supposed to be a privacy hedge; nowall that will be private are our ankles.”

He started the trimmers again.

“Stop!” I called, “Come back!”

“Why?” he shouted.

“You're in the neighbor's yard.”

    At heart, parents always wish the best for their children, and they work hard for that. Nowadays, we see parents deciding the schools for their little ones before the baby is even born. Once kids starts going to school, some parents want to have a time-to-time update(最新的情况) of their kid's activities. They want to come to their classroom every day, keep an eye on whom they talk to, know the friends they keep, start telling them how to do their jobs, and keep talking to them about everything under the sun. Besides, they send their kids to extra hobby classes, as they want their children to do best in every field.

    When it comes to the education, super mum and dad have all the plans made for their children, and I am sure that they have come up with the best. So, try to fight for the dreams that your parents have seen for you. However, in some cases, it may happen that the kids have some different dreams. Parents sometimes don't even consider the choices of their kids and may force them to do what they wanted to do in life. It's good to plan the future for the children, but leave at least some decisions to them.

    So what should the children do? First, hear out all the plans that your parents have made for you. If you have some different ideas, then sit down and talk to your family about it. Be patient and respect their decisions, but put your plan forth, and make them understand what you want to do and why. Many times, you don't know the difficulties that you may have to face while pursuing your dreams. Ask your parents for suggestions, which will make them feel good and involved. That way, they may support you if you are going on the right path.

    He was once referred to as the Picasso of poetry. Beloved by Chileans of all classes, he is one of the most widely read and respected poets in history. And this year is the 100th birthday of Pablo Neruda (1904-1973).

    Born with the name Neftali Ricardo Reyes Basolto, he was a tall, shy and lonely boy. He loved to read and started to write poetry when he was ten. The American poet Walt Whitman, whose framed picture Neruda later kept on his table, became a major influence on his work.

    However, his father did not like the idea of having a poet for a son and tried to discourage him from writing. To cover up the publication of his first poem, he took the pen name Pablo Neruda.

    In 1924 Neruda gained fame with his most widely read work “Twenty Love Poems and a Song of Despair''. Yet his rich experience as a diplomat and exile made him go beyond the theme of love. His work also reflected the political struggle of the left and development of South America. He was awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1971.

    Neruda loved the sea which he saw as creative, destructive and forever moving. He found inspiration in the power and freedom of the waves and the seabirds on the coast. “I need the sea because it teaches me,” he wrote. “I move in the university of the waves.” He loved how the sea forever renewed itself, a renewal echoed in his work.

TaIL Spin

    Two dolphins race around in a big pool in the Ocean Park. The smaller dolphin Grace, shown off a few of her tricks, turning around and waving hello to the crowd. The most amazing thing about her, however, is that she's even swimming at all. She doesn't have a tail.

Grace lost her tail as a baby when she got caught up in a fish trap. When the dolphin arrived at the Ocean Park in December 2005, she was fighting for her life. “Is she going to make it?” Her trainer, Abbey Stone, feared the worst. Grace did make it — but her tail didn't. She ended up losing her flukes and the lower part of her peduncle.

Over the past six years, she has learned to swim without her tail. Dolphins swim by moving their flukes and peduncle up and down. Grace taught herself to move another way—like a fish! She pushed herself forward through the water by moving her peduncles from side to side.

    The movement put harmful pressure on Grace's backbone. So a company offered to create a man-made tail for her. The tail had to be strong enough to stay on Grace as she swam but soft enough that it wouldn't hurt her.

    The first time Grace wore the artificial tail. She soon shook it off and let it sink in the bottom of the pool. Now, she is still learning to use the tail. Some days she wears it for an hour at a time, others not at all. “The tail isn't

necessary for her to feel comfortable,” says Stone, “but it helps to keep that range of motion(动作) and build muscles(肌肉).”

    Now, the dolphin is about to get an even happier ending. This month, Grace will star in Dolphin Tale, a film that focus on her rescue and recovery. Her progress has inspired more than just a new movie. Many people travel from near and far to meet her. Seeing Grace swim with her man-made tail gives people so much courage.

    At your next meeting, wait for a pause in conversation and try to measure how long it lasts.

    Among English speakers, chances are that it will be a second or two at most. But while this pattern may be universal, our awareness of silence differs dramatically across cultures.

    What one culture considers a confusing or awkward pause may be seen by others as a valuable moment of reflection and sign of respect for what the last speaker has said. Research in Dutch and also in English found that when a silence in conversation stretches to four seconds, people start to feel uneasy. In contrast, a separate study of business meetings found that Japanese people are happy with silences of 8.2 seconds — nearly twice as long as in Americans' meetings.

    In Japan, it is recognized that the best communication is when you don't speak at all. It's already a failure to understand each other by speaking because you're repairing that failure by using words.

    In the US, it may originate from the history of colonial (殖民地) America as a crossroads of many different races. When you have a complex of difference, it's hard to establish common understanding unless you talk and there's understandably a kind of anxiety unless people are verbally engaged to establish a common life. This applies also to some extent to London.

    In contrast, when there's more homogeneity, perhaps it's easier for some kinds of silence to appear. For example, among your closest friends and family it's easier to sit in silence than with people you're less well acquainted with.

    A blog posted Dec 7, 2018 at 12:17 PM by Alanna Mallon

    Alanna Mallon is a Cambridge City Councilor.

    Each year in November, I receive a flurry of emails and texts from friends who want to volunteer with their families on Thanksgiving as a way to give back. I also field phone calls from organizations who want to donate to local programs that provide Thanksgiving meals.

    However, as an official who still works in the nonprofit sector, I also feel deeply anxious because I know the other 51 weeks of the year, these critical programs that provide food access to residents in need are starving for both volunteers and donations. Hunger is a year round problem, and each week volunteers are the necessary part to ensure that programs are able to serve the community.

    At Food For Free, we rely on about 100 volunteers per week, and each of those volunteers is extremely important to providing fresh, healthy food to people in the Greater Boston area who need it. School children who take backpacks of food home on Fridays, community college students who rely on our Family Meals program to thrive in class, elderly and disabled residents who receive twice monthly deliveries of food to their doors through our Home Delivery program, — they all rely on us ensuring enough volunteers show up to do the work.

    These volunteers don't show up in your social media feeds, they don't win awards and no one writes about them in the local newspapers. But they are heroes. And you can be too.

    If everyone made a promise to volunteer once a month, or even once a quarter, I know that we could reduce some of the anxiety these organizations feel, as a more reliable volunteer network allows them to focus on helping people, not filling volunteer slots.

    Here is a list of a few organizations who are doing critical work in Cambridge to address food insecurity. Offer your time to an organization, they will be deeply grateful—and I am going to bet that you will feel pretty good about yourself too.

Food For Free: http://foodforfree.org/volunteer.

    CEOC: http://ceoccambridge.org/food-pantry.

    Harvard Square Homeless Shelter: https://hshshelter.org/volunteer.

    Community Cooks: https://communitycooks.org/join-us.

    Margaret Fuller Neighborhood House: http://margaretfullerhouse.org