In the old days, children were familiar with birth and death as part of life. Now this is perhaps the first generation of American youngsters who have never been close by during of the birth a baby and have never experienced the death of a family member.

    Nowadays when people grow old, we often send them to nursing homes. When they get sick, we send them to a hospital, where children are forbidden to visit terminally （晚期的）in patients— even when those patients are their parents. This deprives（剥夺）the dying patient of family members during the last few days of his life and it deprives the children of an experience of death, which is an important learning experience.

    Some of my colleagues and I once interviewed and followed about 500 terminally in order to find out what they could teach us and how we could be of more benefit, not just to them but to the members of their families as well. We were most impressed by the fact that even those patients who were not told of their serious illness were quite aware of its potential（潜在的）outcome.

    It is important for family members, and doctors and nurses to understand these patients' communication in order to truly understand their needs, fears and fantasies （幻想）. Most of our patients welcomed another human being with whom they could talk openly, honestly, and frankly about their trouble. Many of them shared with us their great need to be informed, to be kept up —to —date on their medical condition and to be told when the end was near. We found out that patients who had been dealt with openly and frankly were better able to cope with the coming of detach and finally to reach a true stage of acceptance before death.

The situation is that familiar — deadlines are approaching, time runs out, disorder and confusion fills the day. The feeling is just as familiar — a slightly faster heart rate, and shortness of breath. Yes, it is panic time.

    It's too late to kick yourself with "I should have started on this sooner." or "It was a mistake to accept this tight deadline." The only thing left to deal with the situation is to panic more efficiently.

    ① Focus.

Panic happens when you are on an overload — too many things to do, too much pressure, too little time. But if you focus on the tasks that you need to take care of, and line them up in a logical list, you can have better control of a highly stressful and wild situation.

    ② Get rid of distractions.

    Time wasters and unnecessary activities are the last things you need during this time. Let everyone know you are on panic mode and should not be disturbed unless it is an emergency.

    ③ Watch your time.

    Don't be too engaged in one detail so that you reduce your timing for the other important details. Mind the time and deal with each task so that you can finish all of the required activities sufficiently.

    Try to solve a panic situation as quickly as you can so that you can rest and get back your energy and strength for the next one.

    One form of social prejudice against older people is the belief that they cannot understand or use modern technology. Activities like playing computer games, going on the Net and downloading MP3s are only for the youngsters. Isn't it unfair that older people enjoying a computer game should be frowned（皱眉）upon by their children and grandchildren?

    Nowadays older people have more control over their lives and they play a full part in society. Moreover, better health care has left more people in their sixties and seventies feeling fit and active after retirement. Mental activity, as well as physical exercise, can contribute to better health. Playing computer games is a very effective way of exercising the brain.

    When personal computers were first introduced, most older people didn't believe they would ever familiarize themselves with it. Now computers have been around for a few generations and retired people have gradually become more relaxed about using them for fun. Gamers over 65 prefer playing puzzle games and card games. Kate Stevens, aged 72, says: 揑 find it very relaxing. It's not very demanding, but you still need to concentrate.”

    Another development that has favored 揼rey games? is a change in the type of videogames available on the market. There's a greater variety of games to choose from, including more intellectual and complex strategy（策略）and simulation（模拟）games. Internet Chess and Train Simulator are among the most popular of these. Train Simulator is based on real-world rail activities. Players can choose from a variety of challengers, such as keeping to a strict-timetable and using helper engines during a winter storm.

    Some people argue that 揼rey gamers? simply don't have the skills required for computer games, and that teenagers are better. This couldn't be further from the truth. Most computer games require the kind of analytical thinking that improves with practice, which means that the 揼rey gamers may well be far better than gamers half a century younger than them.

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    When I was growing up, we were not an "I love you" family. We certainly found such affection lovely. We just didn't do it.

    I was thinking about all of this on Saturday at my daughter Katie's recital (演奏会). I had never insisted she do anything in her free time except learn how to play the piano. I carried this from childhood. My parents couldn't afford these lessons. My daughter mostly accepted this demand with good humor. This has meant, through the years, that our house has been filled with a few muddled (混乱的) complaints mixed with versions of songs.

    The day of the recital, I was listening to Katie practice The Entertainer, and one note was not good. I don't know how to play the piano, but I did say, "Hey, Katie, maybe you should hold that note just a bit longer." Then she played it again and again. I realized that I had done something unintended — I was making her think too much just a few hours before her recital.

    So I told her not to worry about it, but it was too late. She kept at it for a little while longer until finally I said that she'd played it perfectly. I didn't think we ever isolated that note; I felt pretty bad for even bringing it up.

    Then it was time for recital. Katie was the first one to perform. She was dressed well. As I watched her play The Entertainer, all I could think was how grown-up she had become, and that I had already missed the four-, five-, six-year-old versions of her.

    She got to the end of the song, and she reached the note we had talked about. And she held it. She held it so long that for an instant it broke her timing on the rest of the song. Then she finished the song, and she looked right at me. Then I hugged her. My parents are right. You don't have to say the words "I love you". Sometimes one note will do.