阅读下面短文，根据其内容写一篇60字左右的内容概要。
In recent years, our parenting culture began to send
the message that competence was important for building self-esteem. However, that
same parenting culture made a big mistake by telling parents that the way to instill
competence in their children was to tell them how competent they were. But here's
the problem. Children can't be convinced that they are competent.
When parents try to convince their children of how
competent they are, they often have the exact opposite effect. There is this little
thing called reality that children have to confront on a daily basis. When children
are faced with the conflict between what their parents had told them about how good
they are and what reality is telling them, the result is the bursting of the “You
are the best” bubble that their parents blew up for them.
You can, however, do several things to encourage
them to develop their own competence. First, you can give them opportunities in
their daily lives to gain a sense of competence, for example, dressing, eating,
drawing, cooking, and interacting with others. These daily experiences allow your
children to develop specific competencies that will be helpful to them as they progress
through childhood and into adulthood.
Second, you can be sure that they gain the most value
from their experiences. You can direct their focus to the competencies that enabled
those successes (e.g., “You were really focused and worked hard on that project.”)
rather than some generic praise of the accomplishment itself (e.g., “Good job!).
And you can praise their accomplishments (e.g., “You must feel so good about your
project.”).
But you shouldn't just focus on the successes because,
as every parent knows, as your children develop, they will experience far more failures
than successes as they begin to gain competence. How you react often dictates how
they will respond to those failures, if you are positive and supportive, your children
will get the message that failure is okay and just a part of life.
