Question

Dear Dale,

    My friend asked me to do something that's against the rules. I wanted to say no, but I was afraid that she would get mad at me, so I did it anyway. Now she wants me to do it a {#blank#}1{#/blank#}. How can I tell her no?

    White Shirt

    Answer

Dear White Shirt,

    We never want to disappoint our friends, but we should never do things that we shouldn't do just to make others happy.

    Throughout your life, you will probably be asked to do things that you don't think you should do. It sound like you could have a problem saying no to people, but rather than be direct(直接的), there are other ways to deal with this kind of s{#blank#}2{#/blank#}.

    Instead of simply saying “No”, try to give reasons for your d{#blank#}3{#/blank#} For example, if a friend asked you to swim in the river but you don't want to, you could say, “ I don't think that's wise. The water's very cold and there's n{#blank#}4{#/blank#}around to help us if we get into danger.”

    It's wrong of your friend to risk getting you into trouble. If she were a t{#blank#}5{#/blank#} friend, she wouldn't ask you to break the rules. If she asks you to do something you don't want to next time, just explain to her w{#blank#}6{#/blank#}you don't want to do it. You should never do anything that you think is wrong.

    Perhaps you friend was just looking for a bit of excitement, but if she wants to break the rules, she shouldn't make you feel bad for not doing so.

    If you really want to keep the friendship, tell her that you don't want either of you to get into trouble. You are not supposed to break the rules, for rules exist simply to keep us safe. And it's always better to be safe than s{#blank#}7{#/blank#} as the saying goes. Hope I can help you out.

Dale.