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In the eyes of many foreigners, Chinese are
the best hosts(主人) and the worst
guests in the world. They're not really bad guests, but because the guest- host
relationship in China is much more different than in some Western countries, it
appears they are not nice guests. And Western hosts sometimes look rude (粗鲁的) in the eyes of Chinese guests.
In China, guests are almost likes gods.
Whenever I enter a Chinese person's home, there is always fruit on the table
for me, and someone is quick to bring me a cup of tea or water. In the West,
generally the guest is not a god. Acting according to the host's way of doing
things is usual behavior for a guest.
My wife's mother, a very kind elderly Chinese
lady, doesn't smoke. When I see some of her guests smoking in her house, as a
non - smoker, I feel unhappy. Usually I want to stop them directly ( 直接地), but I must realize that in China, to be a
good host, she must not do that. In North American homes, if you are a guest,
and the hosts are not smokers, you should not smoke in their house. At the very
least, you could ask, "Is it OK if I smoke?" But, don't be surprised
if they say, "No, you can't smoke." In our culture, if you smoke in
their home, you are a bad guest, but if they do not allow you to smoke in their
house, they are not a rude host.
Guests in China also have special habits.
Some Western people may not adapt to these habits very soon. Thankfully
my wife is Chinese, so whenever we visit a Chinese family she tells me to buy
them a gift. However, giving a gift to a host is not always necessary in my
country. So, if you invite international guests to your house, don't be too
surprised if they don't bring you a gift.
In China, you probably won't need to change
the guest -host relationship very much because you will probably only be the
host, and Chinese are naturally very good hosts. If Western hosts invite you to
their house, try not to be too surprised if their style of treating you is not
what you have expected.